Monday, September 17, 2007

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly 2

The Good: Otto Graham. Frank Ryan. Brian Sipe. Bernie Kosar. Derek Anderson? As I've said to anyone who'll listen, we are accumulating some nice offensive talent (Kellen Winslow, Braylon Edwards, Joe Thomas, Eric Steinbach, solid veteran Joe Jurevicius), and Anderson does have a strong, if scattershot, arm, and Cincinnati does have a shitty defense but, WHAT THE FUCK? And when did Phil Savage invent a time machine to steal the 2003 version of Jamal Lewis? I completely expected the Bengals to do what they did, but for this group which looked historically abysmal last week to outperform these guys - well, just imagine the Republicans coming out against Bush en masse and joining the Democrats to end the war, enact universal health care and promote progressive taxation. And sticking to it.

The Bad: The defense still sucks, no matter how you slice it. The euphoria of the lightning-in-a-bottle performance of Anderson and Co. is the only thing keeping legions of talking heads from casting an endless stream of aspersions against this sad bunch. Since there's no way we're now the 21st century version of Air Coryell, I would hope the coaching staff spends a lot of time working on it. Try anything. New schemes, kidnapping Champ Bailey and Dwight Freeney, alchemy, invoking the dark lord Satan, sending opponents to black sites in Central Europe and Syria, whatever works.

The Ugly: Todd Grantham in tomorrow's team meeting. Marvin Lewis in tomorrow's team meeting. Cincinnati's supposedly sure-handed receivers dropping passes left and right in the fourth quarter. Oh, and the defenses. Ninety-six points, eleven touchdown passes, and over 1,000 combined yards of offense? What is this, Tecmo Super Bowl?

We just outscored the Bengals, the Texans are 2-0 while looking like a real NFL team, the Saints have gotten waxed twice and Joey Galloway continues to defy all known laws of aging in professional sports. It's early, but a drug-fueled Vegas trip is probably one of the few things more unpredictable than an NFL season.


Grace Nearing said...

As a Mets fan who once worked herself into a full-blown panic attack (1986 World Series, 6th game, had to breath in-and-out of a small paper bag), do yourself a favor now: relax. Or maybe there's a book out there somewhere: Zen in the Art of Sports Fanaticism.

Randal Graves said...

Don't worry, I have no delusions of sugar plum Super Bowls dancing in my head. At least 1986 was good to you. I hear that date and all I can think of is Elway converting on about a thousand consecutive 3rd-and-19s. Hmm. What's that book again?