Semiotics

No worries, mate.

Republican Fred Thompson said Friday that terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden is "more symbolism than anything else" as the presidential hopeful warned of possible greater al-Qaida threats within the United States.

Bushism has been so devastatingly effective, that the greatest criminal genius since Hitler, no, since Satan himself, has been relegated to a mere #2 man in his own outfit.

Later in the day, and after Democrats had been critical of his earlier remarks, Thompson took a much tougher stance. [ed - and just look at that width!] "Apparently Osama bin Laden has crawled out of his cave long enough to send another video and he is getting a lot of attention," he said at a rally in Mason City. "He ought to be caught and killed."

Thank you, Mr. Writ Large for that insightful and penetrating examination of such a perplexing issue. But honestly, who would classify that language as tough? Certainly not The Maverick.

"Osama bin Laden and his henchmen must be hunted down - and as President, I will," McCain said in a statement. "My presidency will be al-Qaida's worst nightmare."

Don't you feel excited? Pumped up? Yeah, motherfucker! Crush! Kill! Destroy! Come on Rudy! bring it on home!

Campaigning in Florida, Giuliani said it's "a very, very important objective to capture him and take him out."

Weak stuff, Rudy!, weak stuff. Where's the closest fascist bloodlust? The rank disregard for your enemies and all of those blessed to serve under your megalomania? Some symbol of all that is good and righteous with the Republican party you are. Quick, someone tell Rudy! that Osama is a ferret. You're just not the man I thought you were. Wait. What's that? Fred, you have something to say?

Asked whether the U.S. should have focused on getting bin Laden instead of going to war in Iraq, Thompson said: "It's not an either or situation. Saddam Hussein was on the cusp of having defeated the United Nations and the free world and the United States. He had certainly had weapons of mass destruction and the capability of reviving his nuclear program."

Red meat. Delicious. Can't you just feel the crimson run everywhere, the life pouring out of your hapless victim? The whole goddamn free world was locked in the iron grasp of Saddam, the most dangerous force of evil since (guess who?) Hitler, or that Iranian guy. Or Lex Luthor. He's just really bad, so take that, candyass Defeatocrats! Fred Dalton Thompson. Ronald Wilson Reagan. Wow, I can't tell them apart at all! But don't forget about Crazy Uncle John skulking in the shadows! But go ahead and ignore the fact that the most wanted man in the world is still free.

Pretty fucking scary that Rudy!, possessor of the most aggressively sick and twisted mind of the lot and, you know, the Republican frontrunner, was the most laid back yesterday. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Just look at him drool in anticipation of cracking open your kid's skull and eating his brains.