Thursday, January 10, 2008

C. R. E. A. M.

The savior of the republic?

Unpaid bills.

Telephone companies have cut off FBI wiretaps used to eavesdrop on suspected criminals because of the bureau's repeated failures to pay phone bills on time.

A Justice Department audit released Thursday blamed the lost connections on the FBI's lax oversight of money used in undercover investigations. Poor supervision of the program also allowed one agent to steal $25,000, the audit said.
Well, I suppose we could handle this problem in the short term without too much harm. A few American criminals might escape, but we're waging a greater war, an existential conflict that's been going on unabated since 632 A.D. between the shining and humble armies of light, and the grotesque minions of darkness.
In at least one case, a wiretap used in a Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act investigation "was halted due to untimely payment," the audit found. FISA wiretaps are used in the government's most sensitive and secretive criminal investigations, and allow eavesdropping on suspected terrorists or spies.
OHMYGODWE'REALLGONNAFUCKINGDIE!

Why do the telecoms hate America?
Fine's report offered 16 recommendations to improve the FBI's tracking and management of the funding system, including its telecommunication costs. The FBI has agreed to follow 11 of the suggestions but said that four "would be either unfeasible or too cost prohibitive." The recommendations were not specifically outlined in the edited version of the report.
OHMYMOTHERFUCKINGGODWE'REALLGONNAFUCKINGDIE!

Even the FBI, the organization of Rudy's! fashion guru, hates America?

Have the Islamocommunistofascistojihadists infiltrated every level of power in our great nation? No expense must be spared to rid our Christian body of this disease, of this - er, what? Really?

Nevermind, FBI, go on not paying those bills. Bush says everything will be cool.

16 comments:

Tom Harper said...

Fuck those lazy welfare-guzzling FBI layabouts. They can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and quit mooching off America's hardworking taxpayers.

Sure it's a nice idea to spy on American citizens, but if it won't pass our rigorous Cost Benefit Analysis then our Free Market society should not subsidize it.

Who Hijacked Our Country

pissed off patricia said...

Well if the decider says we are safe and sound I guess I have nothing to worry about. Whew, there for a minute I was screaming OHMYGODWEAREALLFUCKINGGONNATODIE. Did you hear me all the way up there in Cleveland?

This story leaves me shaking my head and wondering what the hell is really going on in this country. What a crock of shit the next president is going to have to deal with.

Randal Graves said...

Tom Harper, always about the green, isn't it? It's quite a shame the fundies don't get that, even after that Norquist shit was leaked last year. Jesusheads, THE CORPORATES HATE YOU. YOU ARE A TOOL TO FURTHER THEIR ENDS, NOTHING MORE. Idiots.

POP, I did hear a distinct rumble, but foolishly assumed it was the construction crew outside. Hell, if there is a next president - well, there will have to be at some point because even Chimpy can't live forever, not being a robot like Dick - that's the problem. Then he or she won't clean up the messes fast enough for the Tweety's of the world and thus, must elect another Manly Man Of Manliness to lead America into the next round of fuckery.

pissed off patricia said...

Yep, a dem. will have four years to clean up eight years of shit, and no one can do that. So four years from now up pop the repubs to the "rescue".

LET'S TALK said...

I could not believe that the FBI phone service was disconnected because they didn't pay their phone bills.

What now, do they thingk that everything is free for the government?

Larry said...

Maybe too much taxpayer funds went to give tax breaks to the wealthy, or to many billions went to Halliburton and Blackwater to be able to pay their bills for their illegal activities.

b said...

I love how much bureaucracy and discussion surrounds this issue. For Christ's sake, set a realistic budget, stick to it and PAY YOUR PHONE BILL!!! I know there are complexities to be dealt with but really... this is not one of them!

FranIAm said...

And here I thought that only I was behind on my bills! LOL- maybe those FBI field offices will be upside down in their mortgages and will default!!

Idiots.

Fecking idiots.

Mary Ellen said...

I have the feeling that within weeks of a Democrat taking the White House, the Republicans will be whining that the economy isn't fixed yet, and the war is still going on, and where the hell is that wall between Mexico and the US????

I think the FBI and the CIA should have their pay docked for sleeping on the job before 9/11 and since then.

DCup said...

Oh, well, if they're not listening in anymore, then I'm giving up phone sex.

Without a broad audience, it just won't be the same....

Colleen said...

Hey, no dissing on the FBI. I saw them training in Quantico. They train really hard(I'm almost in tears here) and carry cell phones. I think all of them worked too!

Randal Graves said...

POP, exactly. And the people will eat it up and vote just enough to see that through.

let's talk, they probably figured with all that money rolling in to everyone else, that someone would take care of it.

larry, see above. :)

b, a realistic budget? The feds? Under Bush? Were you smoking something when you typed that? ;-)

Fran, I've got it! Let's all join the FBI, then we won't have to pay our bills! Sweet deal!

ME, exactly, and the media will help them spin the idea that Democratic obstruction under Reid and Pelosi was the sole cause.

I can't argue with your last comment, but I wish we had a parliamentary-style no-confidence vote here.

dcup, aw shit, what's the point of joining the FBI anymore. Now I'm depressed.

colleen, that's my problem! I don't have a cell phone! I'll get that and some shades, then when the bill collector comes 'a knockin', "sorry, sir, FBI. I don't have to pay."

dguzman said...

I remember back in my free-wheelin' (read: financial idiot) days, when the phone company cut me off for not paying a measly hundred bucks--but the FBI doesn't get cut off until the bills are in the tens of thousands!

That's justice for ya.

b said...

Haha. Yes, I suppose I was being my idealistic self? I mean, really, that is a lot to ask I suppose.

Randal Graves said...

dguzman, what is this 'justice' you speak of? I am unfamiliar with this concept.

b, it really was, so just knock it off already. :)

TomCat said...

They Telecoms think nothing of breaking the law and spying on Americans for "patriotism", but they sure become anti-patriotic fast when not paid. That's Bush/GOP patriotism.