Monday, January 7, 2008

Six steps to a better you!

"Don't worry, Mushy, we have a plan for mis-der-eck-shun, heh, heh."

Step one: send in the inspectors.

Step two: conveniently ignore salient points.

Step three: ratchet up the rhetoric.

Step four: send in the big cheese.

Next week, we'll learn steps five and six: how to conveniently ignore his findings and then blow shit up.

This time-tested program worked for Iraq, it can work for you, too!

Mid-morning mis-der-eck-shun update!
"Those wacky Iranians, what are you gonna do!"
"Oh, I don't know, buy everything hook, line and sinker, I suppose."


pissed off patricia said...

Yep, if it's fixed, break it. Or in this case blow shit up.

La Belette Rouge said...

I usually love a recipe or a list for change. This is one plan of action that makes me appreciate the status quo.

fairlane said...

What in the fuck is a "fast boat?"

Is that code for a canoe with a motor?

Dr. Zaius said...

I think we should start looking for Osama Bin Laden in Las Vegas. It makes about as much sense as anything else.

Mary Ellen said...

I have to give credit to the Navy commander for not firing on the "fast boats", that would be just what Bush and Cheney would need to start war with Iran.

PoliShifter said...

Shades of Gulf of Tonkin 'Incident'.

As for Mushy, don't worry...Cheney's on it...organizing a covert military action and CIA operations. Worse comes to worse he'll go over there with a shot gun and shoot everyone in the face.

Candace said...

I was just talking about the MSNBC story over at Mary Ellen's - to me, this is just the pre-war-with-Iran propaganda gearing up - it's an election year, and we must be at war in order to suspend elections.

Candace said...

More correctly, we don't have to be at war for Bu$hCo to suspend elections; it'll just look better that way (to Neanderthals).

dguzman said...

I'm with Candace. That was my first thought when I saw that story.

Anonymous said...

Why are "steps" followed if the end result is "blow it up Sam"? Just curious.

Randal Graves said...

POP, who doesn't love explosions?

LBR, oh, so regime change in Iran won't go smoothly? And I don't know what is this "Pakistan," either. Speaking of change, I see you did indeed alter your avatar. :)

fairlane, a promiscuous watercraft?

Dr. Zaius, dammit, I think you're right. The New Chairman of the Board!

ME, I hear ya, and they might end up being the last line between the current state and all out war. How fucked up is that.

Poli, exactly what I thought when I saw the teevee ticker.

Candace and dguzman, exactly. Cheney will allow it because it'll let Bush sleep better knowing he did the right thing, see we had to because the terrorists wanna put food on your family, heh heh, etc.

Colleen, that's a little too existential for this blog. I'm only following orders.

My Inner French Girl said...

Hey, at least we have a plan. Nothing I hate more than foreign diplomacy without a plan.

I can't wait to see what Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are going to unleash tonight, after having been "silenced" for so long!


Randal Graves said...

MIFG, yeah, blowing shit up is technically a plan. Good point. About those shows, I don't know, they better improv. I don't think they can write anything. Aren't they both part of the WGA?

Tom Harper said...

I knew we should've attacked Iran. My God that was a close call. Iran has weapons of mass destruction, they're working hand in hand with al Qaeda, they masterminded the 9/11 attack and they assassinated John F. Kennedy.

What are we waiting for? Nuek 'em!

Who Hijacked Our Country

Tom Harper said...

Doh! "Nuek"???

Who Hijacked Our Country

fairlane said...

The only thing more terrifying than the Iranian Navy, and their fleet of Cutlasses, is the Iranian Air Force, and their squadron of Bi-Planes.

It's too bad there's not a country of quadriplegics for Chimpy to bomb.

"Bush Declares War on Handicapistan!"

What a bunch of cowardly fucking douche bags.

LET'S TALK said...

I think Iran is counting on China and Russia to come to its rescue.

Israel is already planning to bomb them as soon as they get the OK from Bush during his visit this week. So stay tuned!

Randal Graves said...

Tom, what's wrong with you? It's nukyulate! Get it right!

fairlane, hey man, you try taking out a squadron of Sopwiths with a Hornet. Those 150mph buggers are shifty!

Dick is the kind of well, dick, that would gleefully park in a handicapped-only space. Which, I guess if he did bomb them back into the stone age, would make it a non-issue. What are you waiting for!

Let's Talk, you're probably right. Funny about the 'stay tuned.' This thing is like an old 30s serial complete with cartoon villains. I'm still trying to figure out who the guys in the white space helmets are.

Candace said...

"Nuykulate" - dang, Randal, you beat me to it.

TomCat said...

I'm, with Poli on this one. In fact, I said the exact same thing at my place this morning. I seriously wonder whether the Iranians were as aggressive as we were told.