Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Rumors of War

If I had a band, it'd be just like High on Fire: fucking ugly and fucking loud.

Oh, relax. They're only rumors.

It's not as if there exists a concerted, coordinated effort to:

1. Shamelessly promote mindless consumerism

2. Through enlisting the help of so-called allies

3. To divert attention from the greatest foreign policy fuck-up in American history

4. In order to vigorously prop up an even more scarifying cartoon supervillain

5. To maintain the numbing disinformation campaign of the status quo.

Jeez, you moonbats sure are gullible.


dguzman said...

you forgot
6. To install bases in EVERY country in the Middle East/Western Asia. Iran is the ONLY place we haven't yet poisoned with our empire. I'm sure that situation will be remedied if it's the last thing this "administration" does.

7. Fuck the future; there's money to be made!

Randal Graves said...

I figured that I'd stop at five because this post would still be writing itself, but those are good additions. ;-)

Larry said...

Also to fill the demonic lust of one deranged lunatic for the taste of others blood.

FranIAm said...

We are so fucking screwed.

And there is not one ounce of pleasure in said screwing. Not one.

This is like a nightmare of a nightmare of a nightmare only it is happening.

Dr. Zaius said...

Tim Russert is a joke.

Mary Ellen said...

"My point to his Majesty is going to be, when consumers have less purchasing power because of high prices of gasoline ... it could cause this economy to slow down. If the economy slows down, there will be less barrels of oil purchased," he said in an interview with a small group of reporters.

He forgot to add, "To which his Majesty said, 'Not my problem, George, if you guys don't buy it, Russia and China will'".

Randal Graves said...

larry, true, but there's more than one deranged lunatic in this bunch.

Fran, also true, thus my continued assumption of many bad things occurring before November 4.

Dr. Zaius, also also true. Hmm, there's a post idea. Tim Russert is the punchline, so everyone come up with the other half of the joke!

ME, also also also true, but wait. Are you saying that those fools would dare not sell to Der Leader, but instead to a bunch of commies?

dguzman said...

ME took the words right out of my mouth--I wonder how much longer they're going to humor him before they pull the plug? I've been getting a bad feeling lately that it might happen soon. I mean, how long can a nation be as far in debt as we are and still keep going? Sooner or later, the debtors write you off.

Mary Ellen said...

I'm waiting to read in the tabloids that Laura Bush is leaving George because of his constant hand holding and spit swapping with the Saudi Prince. A girl can only take so much, ya know.

Randal Graves said...

dguzman, I'd imagine as long as we keep buying their cheap-ass, lead-coated trinkets, they'll put off collection for at least one more day. That's part of the problem: we can't blame EVERYTHING on Bush, America buys too much garbage.

ME, oh come now, the Prince is a real looker!

Candace said...

Don't you know the Saudis are laffing their asses off at Dumbya. Just one more embarrassing moment for us to live with. Gawd, I'm sick of this.

Dane of War said...

Genius post, Mr. Randal Graves - keep telling it like it is, and I'll keep coming back.