The Fuckin' A State

In my last post, I ragged on the dumbassery of my home state, this swingin' pad, hep cats. Wait, that was too McCain-y and I'm not that old. Anyway, not to say we didn't deserve such a blow to our diminishing pride -- we did help deliver Bush -- twice! -- but there have been times in the past when we've risen above such suffering all-too-common within the human condition to be trailblazers in American society.












For example, when the sporting world still thought that no one could top the laughable -- I remember it now! -- play of the 1876 Cincinnati Reds, who, in the National League's inaugural season, won their games at a robust .138 clip, along came Spiders; the 1899 Cleveland Spiders, to be exact, flaunting a record of 20-134. That's .130. One. Three. Zero. Beat that. Even the exploits of legendary outfielder Sport McAllister weren't enough to stem the tide of diamond disaster, and with a nickname like Sport, you just know he tried his gosh darn best.












Cleveland also boasts of the first black mayor of a major American city, Carl Stokes. That's Carl on our left, flanked by Nazi-smashing track legend and Ohio State alumnus, Jesse Owens.



















Along side that accomplishment, Springfield, Ohio claims the first black mayor of any American city in Robert C. Henry. Though Mr. Henry was born on July 16, the previous gentleman made his initial appearance on this day.

Other famous folks hatched on June 21 were witch burning fanatic and Republican Party operative, Increase Mather; a composing son, one of many, of an extra-famous composer dad, Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach; existentialist guru and dirty Frenchman, Jean-Paul Sartre --

"I read one of his books, about strangers!"
"That was Albert Camus, sir."
"That's right, Cam-uss. I knew a guy who used to have a Camaro. It was bitchin'. Like Pickles. Don't run me over, babe, heh, heh."

-- and, most important of all, rock god Kip Winger.

What is the Ohio connection of these final four? Whatever you wish it to be, mes amis. That's the magic of the internets! Write whatever you want, and somewhere, someone will believe it to be true!


















Now if you will all kindly excuse me, I have to go and don the purple, grab my sword, and put down some very naughty insurrectionists. Begone, peasants.