Thursday, August 26, 2010

If all the world were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work

I'll take my chances.

What about Kenyan birth certificates? Please, not-so-gentle hippie, re-barn your pitchforks & dunk your torches in the sweet, sweet Cuyahoga. As if Puerto Rico is American territory.

Speaking of America, how come no American teams have made overtures to UEFA to join their Champions League? In footie, as in war, we're the best and we want to balance ourselves against those Hotspur usurpers who claim such bestery. Mighty Joe Public, thy vice, thy corruption scarest me not.

Speaking of corruption America redundancy, I had something else to post about, but since I've forgotten it amidst a frenzied bout of tried & true bibliothèque coworker solidarity, the comic behind-the-scenes story swap, enjoy the new rape vans.

Hey, if your naughty bits have nothing to hide. Oh, I remember.

Speaking of naughty bits & libraries -- now I've piqued your interest & in only six paragraphs -- our printing system is now BFF to that found in campus laboratories, thus non-current affiliates are disbarred from using 99.9% of terminals. Its first casualty, a prof emeritus regular who must now go elsewhere for his daily porn fix, the way it should be.

Why do you think they built public libraries in the first place?


Liberality said...

Oh that's just grand, send them to us!

I don't like the idea of radiation being foisted upon my unsuspecting person. What are they looking for anyway? Nipple piercings? Nada. Labia decor? Nada there too. Go away US nazi government and law enforcement--you're tramping all over my civil liberties!!! :)

thatgirl said...


Lisa said...

So that's why I posted all those naked pix of myself on the 'net. Now the vans don't have to do the drive by, thus saving the taxpayer dollars. See- I just earned my dole.

Plus - that emeritus is a fan.

Christopher said...

The Birther are such fucking lunatics.

I mean, there is so damned much to criticize Obama over:

- increasing troop levels in Afghanistan
- failing to repeal DADT
- failing to repeal DOMA
- refusing to support marriage equality
- Tim Geithner

Why would the Birther queen, Orly Taitz put down her dental drill long enough to file a lawsuit claiming Obama is a foreign national? This broad is truly a kook!

Randal Graves said...

liberality, legalized emeritus professorizing is all this is, jollies on the job.

thatgirl, if that doesn't become our new slogan, I'm going to be quite sad.

lisa, see, you've helped reduce the federal government's carbon footprint. Porn is green!

christopher, I don't dispute that both Hussein X and The Dentist are useless chunks of flesh save for the occasional nelson muntzing, but the article wasn't about either of those two yokels.

BDR said...

We just cut off access to every computer in the library except for four to the public. I'm getting screamed at by old men kicked out of their house by their old wives because they can no longer view porn here.

Randal Graves said...

There's a gold mine for some enterprising MBA type, replace senior gambling junkets with senior porn ones.

sunshine said...

America is the best at soccer?
You make me laugh. ;p

I bet that young lad had no such plans to finish school and get a job. And if you think I'm going to believe that a 19 year old walked 25 blocks... pffft!
Tell me another story Mr.Graves. :)

Speaking of porn. I'm off to get my titties squished by way of the Mammogram machine.
Would you like me to take pictures and post them on the internet? :D
Think good thoughts for me please!!!!


S.W. Anderson said...

Given the profitability of making and selling these back-scatter radiation devices, I'm tempted to start a business selling dosimeters. You know, in a blister pack off the rack by checkout stands at Wal Mart, supermarkets, etc.

Radiation effects are cumulative in living things, so frequent fliers, especially, might want to keep up with what's affecting their DNA, cell replication, etc. Think of it as a speedometer for your journey toward that special moment when one cell replication cycle goes haywire and starts doing its thing out of control.

Demeur said...

They can scan me all they want but I want royalties.

MRMacrum said...

It appears the Republican tendency to lie goes back to at least 1936. The birth certificate clearly states that John McCain was "born alive". When in fact he appears to have been brain dead since shortly after conception.

Oh I know the birth certificate is not "technically" lying, but well........

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, do you want us to invade? And didn't I just post about the evils of internet porn? Goddamn Canuck deviants.

SWA, you do realize that you inadvertently revealed your plans for world domination through a race of atomic supermen.

demeur, spoken like a true American!

mrmacrum, it's possible that he was a prototype for the Nazi's hush-hush Let's All Save Hitler's Brain project.

Candace said...

Don't worry about the rape vans, sillies - we have protections against undue search and seizure. According to an ACLU spokesperson's comments in the article. (Yes, that's what I said, ACLU)