Tuesday, August 10, 2010

"Lay on, Internets, and damned be he that first cries, 'Hold, flash!'"


















I hope this doesn't get me killed.

Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to read is true. Only the dialogue has been eliminated because when one is in love, eyes are all you need except when compiling a grocery list or are about to shuffle off a mortal coil, just ask a Scot.

It didn't matter that the housing bubble burst because, staring beatifically, Bobby & Bambi McGregor beautifully brought back rambunctious residues of childhood rubber Superballs religiously bouncing over bramble & brick, G.I. Joes & Barbie dolls, bridesmaids & bills, all once thought lost to the dust of time 'til the pining overcame & they mounted a crusade to bring the Superballs back, finding them at last, neon colors in troubling toil, cramped in cobweb, a sublimity able to see the light shine one more time.

Burgeoning laughter split their sides open, memories flooding, pulses ebbing, Bobby disentangling the snaking cord to call 911, Bambi disparaging his aluminum foil hat, mad as an Art Bell regular, I'm fine, I'm fine she said & bouncing over table & chair, lost to the particleboard 'til the pain overcame & he mounted an expedition to the phone screaming dial dial dial & let the curlies queue in proper order we'll gladly pay you noday because we lost the house today do you like that line?

67 comments:

Beach Bum said...

Dude, this was deep stuff. Great images.

I listen to that Art Bell show, or whomever is running it now, occasionally. The people who call in that show are....special.

Flannery Alden said...

"Let the curlies queue in proper order"

I have no idea what this meant, again, but I love the language and rhythm. Did they turn into superballs and die?

Cormac Brown said...

"& let the curlies queue in proper order we'll gladly pay you noday because we lost the house today"

I can say without a doubt, that is my favorite line this week.

Liberality said...

I like that picture :)
Relatives of yours?

Liberality said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Doc said...

I got your rubber balls right here mister...

sunshine said...

My head is pounding. I'll come back and re-read all of this when I can see and think properly.

Everyone seems to love it so it must be good! :)

((Hugs))
Laura

David Barber said...

Randal, in Cormac's link to this, I thought you'd posted a picture of your nut-sack.

I recognised the word Scot in the first paragraph. Totally lost in this one mate, sorry.

Love you, maaan!

susan said...

"& let the curlies queue in proper order we'll gladly pay you noday because we lost the house today"

The perfect response to those who hold so many by the short hairs.

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Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Maybe if you wrote it all in lower-case, e.e.cummings-like, the little goat-footed balloon man might whistle a song for you, far and wee.

Regards,

Tengrain

Sue H said...

....erm, not entirely sure what to make of this, Randal (you certainly keep us on our toes!) -

but I award you 10 points for the use of the word rambunctious!

Demeur said...

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

I see Verizon on your horizon
With Google goop slowing your line.

Hordes of unwashed masses flocking to your easy access.

And with no home to return to it'll be back home to the ole Yugo in the parking lot.

On a quest so futile you had hoped for Net Neutral.
Ha! and you thought the FCC worked for you.

Do I like that line? I'd love that line if the line wasn't dead now if you'll excuse me I'll head for bed.

Burmashave

Randal Graves said...

BB, honestly, what would we do without the crazies? Plus, in their defense, they've killed far less than DC.

flannery, only if there had been an introduction of cosmic radiation, or did you fall asleep in Superball Genetics class?

cormac, must have been a slow week. Bada-bump.

liberality, we are god-fearing folk. Burn the witch!

doc, this is why being made of rubber wouldn't be enjoyable. Even briefs couldn't keep them from flying all willy-nilly.

sunshine, so it's a case of 'not tonight I have a headache?'

david, naw, I save that stuff for my secret sex blog.

Scotland!

susan, which means that if the poor shlubs would only go Yul Brynner & Sinead O'Connor, they'd have fewer problems.

tengrain, hey, Tony Perkins, Oberon's trying to gay marry everyone!

sue, a great word, underutilized in this jaded, postmodern age.

demeur, there's something rotten in the internets of Denmark.

Susan Tiner said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one mystified. Love the words and images though!

Nicole E. Hirschi aka CJT said...

ROTFL, Randal- you always manage to crack me up. Your posts are great!

I do apologize for my delay in getting here, but life snuck up on me... you know?

Dr. Zaius said...

We haven't heard much from Bambi since her bout with Godzilla.

Bambi vs Godzilla

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