Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Oh! hio! No!

One more state worker stealing from the taxpayer.

Hey, gooper, follow the money law. Not my fault you've never read Randal's Rules of Etiquette®: be overly concerned with proper clocking in/out & not-concerned-at-all between those boundary points, thus, having satiated your slacker skeleton, no personal leave is left to make trouble. Now, buy a 44-cent stamp, burn (more than) 52 cents worth of gas driving to the nearest post office two towns over because the one down the street was shipped overseas last year & pay the 96 cents like a good bipartisan.

Speaking of loot, is it me, or is it worthy of gusto-filled chortling that this meme

Strickland, like other governors, has been forced to cut services to keep the budget in balance.
has become something beyond the beyond beyond axiom? Mmmm.

Imagination nation: land of chocolate & 90% top tax rates. Aside: right, like you aren't jonesing for a little class warfare entertainment. Furthermore, I apologize for the length of this caption, an affront to accepted practice.

Regarding Ohio's continuing centrality -- I dare say, the very spine of the body politic -- to the future of this great turd, from rooftops I shout: read my lips, no new narcissism. Shitty and/or choking sports franchises keep us humble.

First responder.

Once humanity gets bored with warring over taxes oil & substitutes the object of combat for that most truly precious of resources -- outside the magical grace of sky fairies & the comfortably numbing exploits of wife-swapping bug eaters who think they can dance, natch -- it remains vital that us on the north coast begin girding our sweaty, buckeyed loins in expectation of coastal hippies, flatland rednecks & cracker retirees sending their collective private armies to steal our fresh water.

One way of such girding is through aquatic watchdogs.

You've been warned, bub, but why the hubbub over this?

Don't get caught.

Naked lady or torture, it's common knowledge that, after the bed or the closet, underneath the desk is the most common place for analog porn storage.


MRMacrum said...

One of your best Randal. One of your best. Pics and words.

Maine is already dispursing it's life juices worldwide and making a damn fine penny out of it..........Uh, well Furriners are making a fine damn penny sucking out the water anyway.

One stock tip for the future - Buy Nestle.

Lisa said...

Ah, analog porn. How I miss your tangled tapes.

Randal Graves said...

mrmacrum, that's a good idea. I'll need all that chocolate scratch to pay for my private army.

lisa, kids these days don't know how good they've got it with their digitally-encoded naughty bits.

Demeur said...

We know those fish were a Canadian ploy. Why build a fence when you have a live reproducing army to keep out those dirty 'mericans.

sunshine said...

Did someone say something about Canada??

And.. chocolate!!??

Both are delicious. :)


Tom Harper said...

Sorry about that unauthorized vacation I took. Your 13 cents is in the mail.

susan said...

Nice bit of interweaving today. It's hard to have a proper class war when you don't have enough credit left to buy a Walmart pitchfork.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

wife-swapping bug eaters who think they can dance

Is that the new Tag Line for your blog? Consider it.



Beach Bum said...

Great post but I got nothing.

Demeur said...

Alright Sunshine drop the chocolate bar kick it over here and nobody gets hurt. ;-)

sunshine said...

No way Demeur!
Canada's one and only tank is right behind me.
No chocolate for you! Muwhahahahah!


S.W. Anderson said...

Randal, whenever you do these forays into current events, I get the feeling you're channeling someone of similar talent and . . . uh, approach. But until now I couldn't quite put my finger on who it is. Finally, the mystery is solved.

Randal Graves said...

demeur, never trust anyone over 30 and/or from Canada.

sunshine, I've tried chocolate, but I've never tried Canada.

tom, why can't everyone be an upstanding model of bipartisanship like you?

susan, plus Walmart pitchforks fall apart after giving you lead poisoning.

tengrain, changing the tagline requires effort. Who the hell do you think you're talking to?

BB, if that includes personal time, good!

Don't worry demeur, Cleveland has one cannon, we'll defend your mammon-given right to international chocolate.

SWA, approach, maybe. George was a genius whereas I'm a mere shlub.

Dr. Zaius said...

Great pictures and text!

The second link made me wonder why anyone would want to mount a piranha. (Young people today are filled with such strange ideas.)

The third link reminded me me that I am quite late for my annual spring cleaning. (I have several former associated under the stairs that must be put to rest.)

(BTW, I couldn't bring myself to launch the Photo Gallery in the first link.)