Saturday, August 7, 2010

This post, like discothèques & glides through beauteous Cleveland vistas, is made possible, by you, the taxpayer.

I'm not lying, I wrote this at work. In fact, be happy/sad I'm a civil servant or you'd have one less blog to enjoy/avoid. Boy, do I have to be civil? I wish someone would serve me a sandwich, I'm fucking starving. This place needs a better lounge area.

















That balcony out back's gone unused for too long. No, I'm not going Black Tuesday. Plenty of space for a grill, mini fridge, comfy chair for flinging book sale rejections* at passers-by, like this guy.

Oh, who am I kidding. We're comrades-in-slack, this Mr. Bush (not that one, settle down, hippies) & I. Furthermore, 'tis a shame when such honesty as the below forces one to submit to rabid dogs masquerading as commoners & resign.

He said he cannot spend his entire day sitting in the county's administration building, where he has no office or Internet access. "I like to serve the people, but I've got to do stuff," he said.
You'd leave the office too if you didn't have internet (Internet? INTERNET!) access. I just hope these Osh Kosh Polygons have some. Seriously, what the fuck is there to do in Kyrgyzstan besides riot?

Oh. Your. God. Train kept a-rollin' all night long.

*we rarely, if ever, burn recycle items in lieu of putting them in the Perpetual Book Sale Machine. Once upon a time, you, yes, you, gentle reader, could have owned Walter Wager's Telefon in near-mint paperback or a copy of the 1970 Congressional Directory.

15 comments:

Beach Bum said...

The United States is planning to move ahead with construction of a $10 million military training base in Osh, Kyrgyzstan...

WTF?! Last I heard Pootie-Poot Putin was working hard with whatever passes as a local warlord or leader trying to push us out of that country?

But hey, its only a paltry 10 million.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Did Pickles stop by to read from her book and leave behind her lunch bottle?

Regards,

Tengrain

Demeur said...

So I take it that Bush won't be making it in the latest copy of Who's Who in Cleveland.

Randal Graves said...

BB, if this leads to a Cold War sequel and a series of suave, noirish spy flicks, I say spend the 10 million.

tengrain, I think there's still some white and yellow ones left over. You want 'em?

demeur, which Bush? This one, that one, or the baked beans one? Don't beat around the answer.

TomCat said...

And I would have thoiught you'd be a civil master instead. ;-)

Tom Harper said...

$64,000 a year (taxpayer-financed) for a part time job, plus having a private sector job on company (taxpayers') time -- nice work if you can get it.

dguzman said...

Hey, they're building their bases on the cheap compared to us.

Christopher said...

Tengrain,

Pickles knows how to read?

La Belette Rouge said...

You should be paid to write. I am happy to hear that you are and that you get your internets for free. Who says the man doesn't offer benefits? No that I am complaining, but I don't get paid to write and i have to pay for my own internets. Um, any openings at the library?;-)

Randal Graves said...

tomcat, are you saying that I'm not a master of civility? Go to hell, sir.

tom, without the internets, is it even worth it? Is anything? The philosophical question of our age.

dguzman, we screwed up with all that high-tech wizardry and Pentagon graft. Build your fortresses out of the bleached bones of your enemies and watch them turn tail and run.

christopher, while popping pills. She's a multitasker.

LBR, sure, civil service scratch enables one to live like a damn hell ass king, or queen in your case, but remember that when therapy-izing a client, you have the luxury of tearing them down. Here, words never make it past iPod ear buds.

Unless you use a baseball bat, then welcome aboard!

Liberality said...

I know I make so much damn money where I work and I have such great job security, er, wait, that's some other damned civil servant job I'm describing isn't it?!?! Pickles shames the profession, just saying...

S.W. Anderson said...

Look at it this way, Randal. It's probably better to be a slacker of a civil servant than to be servile savant.

okjimm said...

an Osh Kosh polygon???? pffffft... most folks here have trouble with squares and circles..... and what's a polygon, anyways? Is that when your parakeet escapes?

susan said...

I liked the part where he said he had to go to cafes to get innernet access but couldn't name one. Some people are too dumb for the clever game of civic dishonesty.

Dr. Zaius said...

I had no idea that Cuyahoga County property evaluator Tom Bush was in cahoots with Ahmadinejad to construct a railway between Iran to China! I am not sure that I understand his role in the upcoming U.S. base in Kyrgyzstan, however.