Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Godfuckingdammit.

















Once again, a Cleveland sports team's final game is a loss. Old habits don't merely die hard, they are immortal like that dude from Transylvania. Anyone got a fucking stake? Oh well, pass the booze instead. When does football season start? But on the bright side, we actually didn't trade our first round pick this year for Jiri Welsch, a future conditional second rounder, a hoagie and a six-pack.

Boston vs. Detroit: The brutal, defensive-minded basketball you saw in the Cavs-Celtics series isn't going away. Neither of these teams starting five is relentlessly athletic like the Nuggets (they're not a collection on knuckleheads like them, either) -- the price to be paid when you're on the wrong side of 30 -- so expect a bunch of epic, 82-79 Somme-esque clashes. But one of these teams has proven that it can win on the road. The other hasn't. Can you guess which one? Pistons in six.

L.A. Lakers vs. San Antonio: The defending champs gutted out a victory against The Man Who Dare Not Be Fouled. I don't know how many times I watched both LeBron James and Paul Pierce go into the paint and get hacked, all to the tune of tra-la-la-la I swallowed my whistle. The refereeing across the entire hardwood landscape has been bizarre. Witness The Fucking Lakers shooting about 752 more free throws a game than the Jazz. Didn't help that Carlos the Traitor never showed up. Pau Gasol, unlike Tyson Chandler, cannot guard Tim Duncan. Pau Gasol, unlike Tyson Chandler, has an NBA-quality offensive game. These teams, like nearly all the second round matchups, are evenly matched. The Fucking Lakers get one more home game. La -- must. not. type. oh. the. pain. -- kers in seven.

30 comments:

F.O.T. said...

It sucks doesn't it?! At least there is booze to bury sorrow! Next season no?

Spartacus said...

RG - This is probably no consolation to you, but you could be a Knicks fan like me? Mike D'Antoni for 4 years @ $24M? It's not going to help. It's going to be a train wreck watching Eddie Curry and Zach Randolph move try to keep up with D'Antoni's run-and-gun game. So, yeah, wait 'til next year.

okjimm said...

OH NO! Looks like ol' LeBron is wincing.....trying to figure out how to pay his tattoo bill....without additional playoff money.

F.O.T. said...

there's nothing wrong with tattoo's... i have one as a matter of fact. It's fab.

Randal Graves said...

fot, next season? Sure, another amazing performance by LBJ, another supporting cast not up to snuff. Well, best enjoy it before he leaves as a free agent in a couple of years.

spartacus, the good thing for you guys though is that both he and Donnie Walsh are actually competent at their jobs. I imagine the Knicks will still suck next season, but they should be more entertaining. Patience is less of a virtue in sports than ever - especially in your town! - but those are solid hires. Just a matter of living with the dead weight of some of those godawful contracts until they expire.

okjimm, hell, he could pay for those with his per diem I bet.

fot, the problem with tattoos is what to get. I could never decide, hence, I don't have one.

F.O.T. said...

randal,
I agree tattoo's are difficult to decide on. thankfully, i LOVE mine and will add to it soon!

DivaJood said...

You have my empathy. As a Chicago Bulls fan, I've been depressed since the brilliant team was broken up. Even though I worship Big Chief Triangle, Phil Jackson, and moved from Chicago to Los Angeles, I am NOT a Lakers fan. Nor am I a Dodgers fan. At least there is Baseball, and the Cubs are in first place.

okjimm said...

tatoo's??..... I have this thing about needles that reconfigure my appearance.

if you think blogging drunk is dangerous.... biking drunk is much worse.....38 stitches that time....bicyclists vs. autos....bikes loose.

..and I am sorry about the Cavs...really...truly (sorta)

b said...

The two teams I hate the most... Lakers and Spurs. Ugh.

Randal Graves said...

fot, add to it? I bet it's a band of little heads consisting of all the past presidents.

divajood, the Bulls? First it was Cowboys fans, and now this! Oh how much did I hate you guys. Never should have made the Ron Harper trade back in '89. But, to your credit, at least you followed - and still follow - your hometown teams! No one likes a bandwagon fan.

okjimm, I've only blogged drunk once and the results weren't pretty, but surely that was much safer than your intoxicated excursion. Was the car at least parked?

b, promise me you'll root for the Spurs, the lesser of two evils!

Mary Ellen said...

Holy crap, wash your mouth out with soap! You march your fucking ass right over to the confessional, this minute!

Randal Graves said...

Only if you're my confessor, I don't want some dude priest! Fuckity-fuckity-fuck!

F.O.T. said...

nope, it's on the back of my neck so the presidents wouldn't work.

Utah Savage said...

Oh Randal. I was sure you were drunk. Why aren't you drunk. It would explains so much. I blog stoned all the time. Where's your passion man? Oh, maybe it's the kids. Good daddy. Keep up the good work, dad. Now the games over and the dishes still need washing. Onward and upward.

okjimm said...

//Was the car at least parked?//

Yes. Much to my chagrin.

Wowsers...the Nun showed up! I better watch my goddam language, too!

Gees, FOT... Woodrow Wilson was kinda skinny....he might fit on a forearm.

Mary Ellen said...

okjimm- Well, I oughtta....

Mary Ellen said...

randal- Sure, I'll be your confessor, wait until you see what I have in mind for penance...heh heh heh.

Randal Graves said...

fot, it's a barcode! You're a robot! A jihadist robot!

utah, blogging drunk is too fucking hard. I'm a stickler for spelling and the one time I did that, I spent most of my time correcting the typos of my drunken fingers. Plus right now, I'm at work, and they might frown upon a staggering Randal in a stultifying stupor.

okjimm, better parked than barreling towards you at 45 mph! You'd be surfing the tubes from the grave!

ME, now I'm curious, but also frightened. You're not going to make me watch Hannity on a loop are you? That's cruel and unusual. Pleasure over pain!

F.O.T. said...

actually the skin is being ripped away to reveal a circuit board.

kip said...

I've been a KG fan for years. This is his best shot at getting a ring.
You know who I'm rooting for!

DivaJood said...

RG, I could never be a bandwagon fan. I cannot carry a tune. Don't you have to be melodic to jump on a bandwagon?

As for tats - well, if you can't decide, you should just get one of everything, and you'll look like, oh, I dunno, Dennis Rodman.

La Belette Rouge said...

Is that a smile on his face? Is the big guy happy? Does that mean San Antonio lost? I am confused. Please clarify.;-)

FranIAm said...

I was so surprised to hear you use a religious term for your post title.

I say that prayer all the fuckin' time!!

Randal Graves said...

fot, just as long as you don't go Terminator on us.

kip, I'm definitely torn about that. KG has been one of the good guys, emotional, hardworking, but I don't think I could stomach the Boston area winning another title.

divajood, that's a good point. And they say having no musical ability is a bad thing.

Oh no, I have no plans to get one, merely stating a hypothetical. Tattoos would cut into my music budget!

LBR, no, no, no. Hope that helps. ;-)

fran, you do? Blasphemer! If it will help calm your frayed nerves, next time I'll include something diabolical in my title!

Dean Wormer said...

Bah.

My Blazers drew 13th in the draft.

They'd screw up a higher round pick anyway.

Randal Graves said...

Don't forget, Greg Oden will be added to a 41-41 team. And isn't Rudy Fernandez coming over from Europe as well?

Dean Wormer said...

Yep re: Fernandez.

Oden will probably hurt himself again pre-season playing wii-fit or something.

When I was a kid the Blazers used to make the playoffs every year.

Now they find a way to lose scrimmaging themselves.

Randal Graves said...

Well, they did manage to transfer the sporting punkassery to the Cincinnati Bengals, did draft (well, trade for) Brandon Roy (good job McHale, you moron) and have arguably the most beloved champion in sports history, the 77 Blazers.

But yeah, Oden will probably get hurt again. I have him on my fantasy team, so that doesn't help the odds. :)

Angie said...

Sorry, Cleveland lost. I swear I wasn't rooting for them to spread my Buckeye curse. I've stopped rooting for sports teams altogether. It's best for all parties involved. Really.

b said...

Of course I will be rooting for the lesser of the two evils, the Spurs. I don't know that I'd call it rooting but I won't be cursing them as much as the Lakers. And whoever wins that match, I'll be rooting for the Pistons/Celtics in the finals.

The Blazers are my team too, Dean Wormer. Oden will not get hurt again. Oden will not get hurt again. Oden will not get hurt again. I find it helps (my delusions at the very least) to repeat such things over and over.