Thursday, May 15, 2008

Splotchy's Viral Theatre Redux

My second tag this week. Normally, when someone throws the gauntlet down in such an aggressive, demonic (but not always wide) stance, I'm ready to rejoice because it means I have to put less thought into a post and you all know how much I love to not think.

Sheesh, don't be so fucking quick to agree. Assholes.

But this tag is a sword with one of those high-falutin' double edges that you can't order off the teevee but have to travel to Old Europe to get: another infection by the greatest meme in the history of the known universe (I can't speak for any parallel ones).

Anyway, Señor Spielbergo has released this New-and-Improved® virus into the electrons and I'm afraid I've been stricken. I'm even more afraid of these exploding pustules on my skin. I'm most afraid of my contribution which really does suck vast fields of ass. Oh well. On with the show.

I had been shuffling around the house for a few hours and already felt tired. The doorbell rang. I opened the front door and saw a figure striding away from the house, quickly and purposefully. I looked down and saw a bulky envelope. I picked it up. The handwriting was smudged and cramped, and I could only make out a few words. (Splotchy)

"Meet me at two o'clock at Grisham Square. Don't be late!"

What? I already had an appointment at that time. In fact, that was the only reason I had even taken off work that Wednesday. But, when I saw the photos, I knew I had to go and see what the hell was going on. Oh gosh, now I wish I hadn't, but how was I to know then that Elizabeth would take this whole thing so far? (Freida Bee)

She had exposed the nefarious Republican oil-for-neckties program, skillfully dismantling its diabolically brilliant mind control scheme, giving each man, woman and child his or her freewill back, and this had made her a national, nay, worldwide, heroine, but -- the fear -- the look of stark, otherworldly terror on the -- could they even be classified as faces anymore?

No, I had to swallow the overwhelming dread that was threatening to force me into complete shutdown, collapsing on the hallowed ground where I would silently, naively wish it all away until it came for -- me. Fruitlessly wiping away a flood of icy sweat, I knew I had to steel my resolve, look upon those photos once more and let them burn their horrific images in my psyche. Permanently. (Randal Graves)

Sorry, you've been drafted. Get writing (or don't):
Dean, anita, (0)(0), Scarlet, Utah Savage.

22 comments:

Freida Bee said...

Oh, masterful! Excellent. I knew you would do us proud. Muhahaha, cough, cough.

Splotchy said...

Thanks a lot for being infected.

I have feeling this is not going to turn out happily for at least a few of those people in the photos.

Angie said...

Anyone we know in the photos? My ankle is slowly getting better. Thanks for checking on me.

Dean Wormer said...

I got your meme hangin'

La Belette Rouge said...

As good as this is--and it is good--I am so glad I am not tagged. I owe you two memes and I owe two other bloggers 2 tags!! Yikes! Well, I know what I am writing about tomorrow.;-)
p.s. I promise not to tag you until next week.;-)

Mary Ellen said...

Oh crap...you're not talking about the photo's of me and the Pope are you? Damned that German! He promised me there were no camera's in the Confessional!

F.O.T. said...

Thank you for not tagging me with this.

Utah Savage said...

Oh, son of a bitch.

pissed off patricia said...

Thank goodness I have had my meme shots and now I'm immune to such.

Randal Graves said...

FB, merci, but you should think about picking up a bottle of Robotussin.

splotchy, you're probably right, but we can't be held responsible for projecting our anger upon these unseen people.

angie, we'll have to read on and find out, my job is done! No problem, just make sure everyone else in the house waits on you!

dean, excellent!

LBR, I figured in between your stop/start prospective adventuring in Old Europe, another tag would've been overkill. ;-) Um, I hope you're joking about that last line!

ME, the Rat? Really? Given up on us young dudes, huh.

fot, you're welcome, but you do realize that you are now on the short list for the next tag.

utah, muahahahaha!

POP, someday I'll get you to do a tag, I will.

Anita said...

randal, since i actually enjoy memes and i'm not typically a "meme-target" ... i, think, i, appreciate, being, tagged.

i will pull it together. probably over the weekend, as today i'm looking for a chiropractor to help me deal with severe and sudden muscle spasms in my neck and leg!!! does this mean i'm getting old??? will doing the right thing by the meme correct my condition?? or, even, are these symptoms of the splotchy virus??

tune in, over the next weekend to see how our heroine fares in the face of it all!!

okjimm said...

// ...it means I have to put less thought into a post and you all know how much I love to not think.//

OK. So are you thinking today? ;)

..... or will this be a friday of Ockey predictions....or musical predilections......or poetical profundities..... hmmmmm....the world waits and so does my second cup of coffee.

Jess Wundrun said...

Randal, I got this meme too and wrote my addition with you in mind. Would you mind doing this one more time?

Randal Graves said...

anita, I haven't seen any meme-ory *bwahahahaha* at your place, and I know some folks hate them, but I figured I'd take a flyer on it. Given your current state of injury, certainly no rush on it! Hard to wander the tubes with wonky muscles!

Next time though, make sure you have some dramatic music to help close your comment.

okjimm, thinking is for elitists! And get a fucking blog already so we can tag you! As for hockey, the conference finals are still going on, you should know that, everyone should know that! I might have to come up with more fiction since jess was so generous and kind in tagging me with this. Thanks for that. ;-)

okjimm said...

//thinking is for elitists!//

Wowsers....gee, glad I am not one of them!!!

Hey, I finally did buy a computer. Used laptop. cheap. Found a lotta porn files....it may take a while to ah, clean them....some are really interesting......I never knew there were so many multiple uses for some of the most mundane household appliances!!!

Randal Graves said...

Of course there are, don't you watch the Food Network?

okjimm said...

oh, wow....time to subscribe to cable again! You really break me up!

F.O.T. said...

okjimm,
Cable won't fix you and make you whole. I'm just sayin'

okjimm said...

Well, I tried, in no particular order

Jesus
Transcendental Meditation
cocaine
Belly Button Lint Knitting
jogging...

I was really kinda counting on Cable TV.....
I guess it is back to Alcoholism...

Dr. Zaius said...

Ha! I knew that neckties were the culprit! There true worth will now be exposed...

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, don't listen to fot. She's just mad her cable company doesn't carry the good stuff, if you know what I mean: Trinity Broadcasting Network, the Fungus Channel, C-SPAN 9.

dr. zaius, some of those patterns are quite hypnotizing!

okjimm said...

oh wow, there IS a fungus Channel----hey it is almost the Morel season in wisconsington.....I never KNEW there was a fungus channel....boy&howdy.... eating fungus is an old hobby of mine..... I have always tried to be a fun-guy