I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm busy mulling over lucrative offers from both
Blackwater Xe and the Obama Administration. Both have their pros and cons, so perhaps you all can help me choose:
Blackwater Xe: sure, their contracts are ostensibly being phased out, and it's now millions instead of billions, but that's still prime taxpayer scratch. Plus good work never goes unnoticed by the next federally-employed wetwork outfit.
Hussein X Death Panel: it's a civil service job. 'nuff said.
Blackwater Xe: the blistering heat of Iraq.
Hussein X Death Panel: the blistering heat of DC in the summer.
EDGE: a wash.
Blackwater Xe: Handiwipes to get rid of the spattered blood and entrails of your victims.
Hussein X Death Panel: Cold cut tray in the green room.
EDGE: Hussein X Death Panel.
Playing the grim reaper:
Blackwater Xe: a thousand rounds shattering flesh and bone, blazing powder burns and screams over in mere seconds.
Hussein X Death Panel: the megalomaniacal thrill of mixing it up in a twisted mélange of Blofeld, Heydrich and Drs. Evil and Doom.
EDGE: Hussein X Death Panel, by the skin of my nose.
THE WINNER: Seems like a no-brainer to me. Oh, secretary? Ring up the Carebear. Tell him to deal me in.