No, I'm not here to sing the praises of breakfast -- All Glory and Honor to Breakfast, Amen -- but scramble for something to throw against the wall. Eggs aren't as good as one would think, for they're far too runny; nature's creepy crawlies they are not. So, let us harken back to the Golden Age of this blog when I used famous birthdays as a posting save because of insidious brain drain, an affliction working on Black Death hyperdrive this week. Wikipedia, ho!
Let's see, Philip II Augustus of France (did a paper on him once upon a time en français, big A, but what do you expect when you slip the prof a twenty), noted limey pervert and artiste Aubrey Beardsley, famous conqueror and hooptician Wilt the Stilt, and a bunch of other people, most of them also dead. Speaking of corpses and blood, Countess Bathory did the mortal coil shuffle way back in 1614, the commies rained on Prague this day in The Year of the Hippie and in 1831, Nat Turner said 'fuck you cracker' and got his rebellion on.
One more thing. Since Americans, like the NCAA, are self-deceiving hypocrites, I suggest that we as a nation adopt one of their practices. The University of Memphis, for using an ineligible 'student-athlete' -- vaguely similar to saying I was hired for my looks instead of my vast repertoire of people skills -- must officially vacate their 38 wins and 2008 Final Four appearance and give back all the loot they earned for such on-courtery. Sure, I know it happened, you know it happened, but it didn't happen. We should do that with the BFEE. Sure, I know there were eight years of fuckery, you know there were eight years of fuckery, but if we officially say there weren't, everything will be fixed, and Hussein X is off the hook for that whole justice gig.
Harboring doubts? Watch and learn, chumps: no, the Browns did beat the Broncos. The Drive never happened, nor did the Fumble. Oh, sweet memories of my youth, how I love you so. See how easy that was? Thank you, NCAA!
If that doesn't make you want to relive those days, you're beyond help.