One bourbon, one scotch, one brain

There's no truth in the malicious rumor --
"Told with purposely vindictive humor,"
That I was traded to Kansas City
For some BBQ ribs. "Quite a pity,
'Cause Philly sent some cheesesteaks for Cliff Lee;
Boston, for Victor, bag o' beans or three."
Imagine! Eating like damn hell ass kings!
"Good thing you said nein! to those onion rings."












Hard to think on a bloated stomach, non?
"Syrup of ipecac gets guts to blow."
Oh, rather not as prologue to this post,
But if I don't upchuck something, a ghost
I shall be. "Don't forget what Grace Slick said --"
Feed your head? "We built this city on dread."
Yes, sports have exsanguinated joy, yet
I cannot turn nor manage to say nyet.









"And that's all I implied?" Isn't it? "Não.
Now, listen close: Cash for Clunkers, this Tao
of Fed -- don't furrow that brow -- will accept
noodles, too." Fuel-efficient brains? "I wept
at your stupidity, and do so hence."
Donate to science! "Yes! Booze, an expense,
needs green, by Jove -- sure, it ain't the lotto,
but, oh, the sweet joys of being blotto."