Saturday, August 1, 2009

One bourbon, one scotch, one brain

There's no truth in the malicious rumor --
"Told with purposely vindictive humor,"
That I was traded to Kansas City
For some BBQ ribs. "Quite a pity,
'Cause Philly sent some cheesesteaks for Cliff Lee;
Boston, for Victor, bag o' beans or three."
Imagine! Eating like damn hell ass kings!
"Good thing you said nein! to those onion rings."

Hard to think on a bloated stomach, non?
"Syrup of ipecac gets guts to blow."
Oh, rather not as prologue to this post,
But if I don't upchuck something, a ghost
I shall be. "Don't forget what Grace Slick said --"
Feed your head? "We built this city on dread."
Yes, sports have exsanguinated joy, yet
I cannot turn nor manage to say nyet.

"And that's all I implied?" Isn't it? "Não.
Now, listen close: Cash for Clunkers, this Tao
of Fed -- don't furrow that brow -- will accept
noodles, too." Fuel-efficient brains? "I wept
at your stupidity, and do so hence."
Donate to science! "Yes! Booze, an expense,
needs green, by Jove -- sure, it ain't the lotto,
but, oh, the sweet joys of being blotto."


Freida Bee, MD said...

Only a master can rhyme yet with nyet and have it not come off as contrived. Well, either a master, or someone sweetly pissing-himself drunk.

Holte Ender said...

You're a poet,
I didn't know it.

Christopher said...

The world was a better place when we had Dino (not to be confused with DINOS) in it.

And Frank, and Sammy, and Steve and Edie. Vegas was for adults then and not just the rich kids of West LA swells, or braying Wal-Mart shoppers who waddle in to see Elton play for 55 minutes so she can relive her youth.

It must've been fun to be an adult back then.

Randal Graves said...

FB, I would never drink at work. And think of blotto, in this case, being metaphorical, a happy retreat from the lunacy of the day-to-day.

holte, I didn't either
and still ain't sure. (dig my free verse)

christopher, that's a Vegas I wouldn't mind visiting. Today, not so much.

sunshine said...

I loved Dean too. Now that was one Hot Italian man! Mmmmm yummy!

And yes, it is hard to think on a bloated stomach. :(
But I think I'll say "oui" to the onion rings... :) Laura loves onion rings!!!!!

OMG... I'm so tired. Does it show??

Ciao For Niao Babes!

Tom Harper said...

"One bourbon, one scotch, one brain" -- I'd rather have a beer than a brain. I have to stay true to the original song title.

S.W. Anderson said...

Top-quality scotch costs so much in my state, I think they're selling fifths on time payments.

Christopher, right on about Vegas. It's still exciting but lacks the rowdy sophistication and classy exuberance the rat pack brought to it. Being a big Sinatra fan for decades, I'm still reconciling myself to the fact that he's gone and no one has come along to fill his niche. Albeit Tony Bennett remains an incredibly durable balladeer.

Beach Bum said...

An over abundance of tourists can ruin any place. It hard to imagine but that goes for Vegas as well.

Saw an ancient clip of the Rat Pack joking around on stage and those guys defined the words "cool" and sophisticated. From what I see of Vegas now I'll just stick with Disney World. It closer, not far from the beach, and from what I hear cheaper.

susan said...

This is an act I would have loved to have seen in Las Vegas. We have recordings Louis Prima and Keely Smith from those days but there's little video. The night they premiered Old Black Magic all the cool grownups were there.

Übermilf said...

Sometimes reading this blog is like listening to this

S.W. anderson said...

Susan, your "act" link opened on a tune called "Zooma, Zooma. Maybe that's what you intended. If not, "That Old Black Magic" is here.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is the only Vegas you need.

Dino, indeed: when the moon hits your eye like a pizza pie, that's amoré.



themom said... I have all these Dino songs running through my pea sized brain!!! Not all bad though - thx!

Demeur said...

I'd rather have a frontal lobodomy rather than a bottle in front of me.

That Face! said...

Give me a brain!
A brain, a brain! My kingdom for a brain!!!

okjimm said...

See.... just another reason why baseball sucks.

Get over it. Football soon

Dean Wormer said...

Built this City is marginally more played out than Dirty Laundry- discuss...

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, few foods are finer than onion rings, I simply needed something that rhymed with kings. Don't even think about taking my onion rings.

tom, as would I. Brains cause nothing but trouble.

SWA, I've got it, time share booze. I'll make a killing.

BB, which is one of (well, the only, probably) benefits of living here. We don't have tourists.

Are you saying Disney World isn't cool? I'd watch out for Walt's corpse, if I were you.

susan, don't worry, once I perfect my time machine, you can see all the old shows you wish.

übermilf, now is the time on Rubberband Lazer when we dance!

tengrain, dean was right, love kills by crushing your flesh and bone into a sticky paste buried thousands of feet below sea level.

themom, giving people happiness by leaving the work to others is the gig to have.

demeur, I'll take the bottle, unless it's empty. Well, I'm sure I can get a nickel for it.

TF, something is rotten in my brain.

okjimm, have you seen the recent vintage of the Clowns? How are they going to bring me joy?

dean, is Dirty Laundry played that much on the radiowaves? And what amoral bastard plays the former without legal repercussions?

Dr. Zaius said...

Mary Wolstencraft Shelley is displeased with you.