Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Mr. 3000, Or, I Don't Feel Like Writing A Goddamn Thing Today, You Bastards

"Trust me, sir. The beer nuts are in aisle five."

"In America, you crush communism. In Belarus, communism crush you!"

"Another joke rewrite? Being a freshman sucks."


Holte Ender said...

1st Caption
What am I give for this little old man, 20, gimme 25, 25, 25, 30 gimme 30 . . .

2nd Caption
All I did was wave at the bastard.

3rd Caption
3pm Manicure, 3.30pm Sauna, 5pm Nap, 6.30pm Write Book, 7.30 Dinner with G Beck . . .

Liberality said...

It's about time they let Franken get to work!

sunshine said...

1st~ Who wants to ditch this joint? We can all go back to my place for a beer?

2nd~ Seriously guys... Are you just going to leave me here? Come on! I'm tits up! Somebody help me!!!

3rd~ I'm sooooo improtant! People like me! I'm smart enough and gosh darnit! People like me!

I know... I suck at these.. STILL!

sunshine said...

shoot! I seriously screwed up the Stuart Smalley thingy. sigh...

Frogette said...

Taking a mental health day? You know we don't pay for those right? :-)

Randal Graves said...

holte, bidding on gourmet soylent green? You are a seer!

liberality, agreed. Have you heard Cornyn's weak lines?

sunshine, keep practicing, grasshopper.

frogette, sure we do, it's called phoning in and pretending that you're actually sick, cough, cough. ;-)

Tom Harper said...

Al Franken: "Damn it I'm tired of all these Stuart Smalley comparisons. Why can't anybody remember my OTHER skits on SNL, or that critically-acclaimed TV series I was in that only lasted part of one season?"

S.W. Anderson said...

First photo caption: "Mr. President, if we promise to shop for fruits, veggies and low-fat everything from now on, would you promise to go for single payer?"

Second photo: "Restroom? That way, comrade."

Holte, I think your caption works better for John Boehner than Al Franken.

Third caption: "Decisions, decisions. Tomorrow's lunch choices are . . . Hmmm . . . I guess I'll go with pastrami on rye with a side of cole slaw."

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Congratulations on the 3K.

You are still swine, of course, but you are 3K swine.



Beach Bum said...

"No sir, I don't know where the restrooms are and I sure as hell don't work here."

"I've fallen and I can't get up."

"Rush Limbaugh is no longer a big fat idiot but an extremely obese psychotic racist with dangerous delusions of grander."

Übermilf said...

This lack of material means your life is going too well.

susan said...

1. Of course it's all fresh. We grew it ourselves in the White House Victory Garden.

2. Memories of Ozymandias.

3. The original Trading Places was a lot more fun than this. I wonder how those gorillas are doing?

Snave said...

1. No we DON'T sell arugula here, you goddamned liberal elitist!

2. And that one up there looks like a poodle... or maybe a dragon!

3. Dear Norm, I hope you are having fun in your retirement. Is it true you are going to become a political science prof at a public university? I understand Alberto Gonzales is going that route. Best wishes, Al.

victor said...

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Randal Graves said...

tom, preach it! Like who can ever forget his Oscar-winning performance as a baggage handler in Trading Places?

SWA, I'd almost agree with your assessment of Holte's comment, but he forgot to mention the hourly applications of day-glo orange.

tengrain, first of all, I'd like to thank Jesus without whom I wouldn't have had this shitty blog.

BB, you forgot to mention his pill-popping.

übermilf, I heartily scoff at your delusion.

susan, I always had Shelley pegged as a secret party commissar. Glad to see that someone else remembered that fine film.

snave, think Norm will grow his hair long again and get the old band back together?

victor, does it look like I need internet marketing? I'm taking you down, The Google.

Dr. Zaius said...

You could say that the Lenin statue had a crush on him. **groan**

Randal Graves said...

Ed McMahon's corpse just said "ha ha, yes!"

MRMacrum said...

I didn't feel like commenting today until I saw your title. Still don't. Especially since when I saw the first image, my Right Wing genes began to tremble, then upon viewing the second, they began to shake, and finally as I gazed stupidly at the final insult to injury, Al looking busy, I fell into a funk and can no longer even make wood when I look to my poster of Sarah gazing down at me with those soccer mom eyes. Thanks Randall, you have ruined another day.

Randal Graves said...

It's been my pleasure, goshdarnit.