Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Suckiest bunch of sucks that currently suck

The King is dinged, long live the King's elbow.

He's fine, though what troubles me most about the upcoming [insert combat-related colloquialism here] against Boston is nothing X-and-O related, no Pierce-ian truthiness, no Shaq Fu free throw adventuring, but something more subtle, a growing monochrome tint upon the technicolor conference semifinal canvas: just how bloody awful Rasheed Wallace has become.

Not merely an old, aging gracefully samurai warrior archetype able to plop his increasing flab onto the hardwood in order to display, reminiscent of a peacock, one final time that classic, bug-eyed, a foul on me?ball-don't-lie!a technical? stare into a specific point in the space-time continuum, a cosmic meeting of the x, y and z axes within a documented time frame, visible only to his insectoid globes, but awful, fucking awful.

I miss the little scamp already. Sniff.


Holte Ender said...

He should be OK against Boston, Larry Bird is no spring chicken.

Demeur said...

What a sucky post. I gave up on B'ball with the theft of the Sonics. Bring back Sir Charles for all I care. Do you really think anyone remembers the stars of twenty five years ago? Etch that one on your backglass.

Eat at Ray's and death to Oklahoma ( what are they called? The crooks?

Randal Graves said...

holte, plus Delonte West shouldn't have too much trouble with Cousy.

demeur, ha ha, your team moved!


Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Now I have the Harlem Globetrotters whistle theme song stuck in my mind. I'll have to play some pop songs to dislodge it.



PS - Eat at Ray's!

Tom Harper said...

Demeur, what, you don't follow the Oklahoma City Sonics any more? (Or wherever they went.)

susan said...

I have no appropriate basketball comment but I was once sitting in a lounge at Logan when the Celtics deplaned (including Byrd - it was quite a while ago) and I've never seen so many tall men all at once. Naturally, there were short guys carrying their bags.

S.W. Anderson said...

Ah, the headline says it all. Plus, we're spared more armpit art. Randal gets a gold star by his name for today. :)

Beach Bum said...

I'm no role model.
Charles Barkley

I haven't watched basketball since my hero Charles Barkley retired.

Randal Graves said...

tengrain, no! Put away your bad 80s synthpop, their theme song is sweet! Quick, someone play some old episodes of Scooby Doo.

tom, that's gotta be the crackeriest audience in the NBA.

susan, we all know they're tall, but being near them, one realizes just how miniature most of us humans actually are.

SWA, I think you secretly want a post of nothing but armpits. ;-)

BB, game 7 with Phoenix against Seattle back in 1993, what did he have 44 and 24? People forget just how much of a bad mofo he was.

Dr. Zaius said...