Tuesday, April 29, 2008

All work and no play makes Randal, well, duller






















Mr. Graves: There, now I just need to flesh it out a bit.












Mrs. Graves: You need to do more than just 'flesh it out.'








Mr. Graves: I'll get fleshy after the Cavs' game. Wink.












Mrs. Graves: The hell you will. You haven't even cut the grass yet.

The above is a tale of fiction. With my legendary work ethic by my side, I slaughtered the grass with my spinning blade of suburban death the way a cook slaughters dead cow parts with a fresh set of Ginsu knives. Before the Cavs' game.

I didn't get fleshy though, for I fell asleep on the couch working on my paper. Scholarship before sensuality, that's my motto. And the real reason I slept on the couch.

Just kidding.

But I busted my ass yesterday and the paper is coming along nicely.

Just kidding.

28 comments:

Anita said...

I would like to recommend the follow book to you, for your personal edification:

Attention Deficit Disorder -- The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults, by Thomas E. Brown, Ph.D

pissed off patricia said...

We are getting back to the time of year Mr Pop must face the monster that is the lawn every single week. He got a break over the winter and at times could skip up to three weeks without cranking up the mower. Happily he loves working in the yard so no complaints. He says he does some of his best and clearest thinking while he is mowing.

Mary Ellen said...

Unlike your scenario, my telling my husband the grass needed to be cut went in one ear and out the other. It wasn't until it was six inches higher than the neighbors lawns before he would drag his dead ass out to do it. Then I started cutting it myself and did that for years. Finally, when I was fighting the lawnmower that was almost impossible to start, I made an executive decision...I called a lawn service to do it weekly. I then threatened my husband that if he had a problem with that, he could tell it to the divorce lawyer.

Voila! Grass looks great. Still might get that divorce, but the grass looks great!

Dr. Zaius said...

What exactly is the difference between sleeping on the couch and being "in the dog house"? ;o)

DCup said...

If only "mowing the lawn" were a euphemism for having sexual relations, then men would be running all over the place, blades a twirling!

Whoops. That sounded a touch sexist. I'll got back to admiring Mrs. Graves' lovely necklace.

Anita said...

"blades a twirling" !!

I love it --- what a spectacular image that conjures up in my dirty, dirty mind !!!

Randal Graves said...

anita, I doubt I have that. Now, OCD, I'm sure about. You should see my bookcase. If a single spine is slightly askew, I'll notice and immediately have to fix the sucker.

POP, one more reason to love winter. No lawn mowing. I don't mind pulling weeds out of the cracks in the driveway all that much, but cutting the grass?

ME, wear something worthy of the boudoir and he'll be slicing and dicing little green blades in no time.

dr. zaius, this couch is very comfortable. You ever try sleeping on the floor of a dog house? ;-)

dcup, what can I say, it's the one chore I loathe. Laundry is easy. Tossing a load (is that sexist or sexy?) in takes about two seconds, drying the same, let the machine do all the work, and fold while watching televised sporting competitions. Piece o' cake!

I'm willing to overlook that sexist comment because of mine above.

anita, what the hell, you're all a bunch of perverts! J'adore mes lectrices !

La Belette Rouge said...

Really, there is grass to be mowed in the Midwest? The snow is gone? You really are making me homesick and you are also making me happy I am not in school and that I have no papers looming over me. Good luck with the paper and getting off the sofa.;-)

F.O.T. said...

procrastination is the best. i produce my best work under its influence.

Look over there....something shiny

b said...

Sadly, I need the pressure to really produce my best work. Of course, I'll be mulling the paper over on some sub-conscious level from the day it is assigned, but putting pen to paper/fingers to keyboard takes that intense pressure. It is not a good trait, by any means, especially when you do get great feedback!

But it looks like you've started and that's something, right? Scholarship before sensuality?! Haha. Yeah, I guess that tension could help your work. It is another type of pressure. I'm not sure how well it works for marriage though. Hmph. Definitely tricky.

okjimm said...

yuppers, what FOT said
//procrastination is the best//

..it sure fills up all my tomorrows!

//If only "mowing the lawn" were a euphemism for having sexual relations//

no, for that you have "trimming the bushes"
Or
"tip-toeing through the tulips"

gees, I gotta get back to work---- gardening talk gets me to excited!

Dean Wormer said...

Man you are a slacker.

I'm able to combine mowing the lawn, reading, writing, napping and sex with the Mrs. into one big ball of kinetic energy.

C'mon, pick it up.

Liberality said...

I am SO glad to be done with all of that. Good luck with that paper.

Randal Graves said...

LBR, unfortunately, there is. Though I'm certainly not one of those lunatics who cuts every other day and edges and trims with miniature shears. As for the paper, it's only one. I'm getting too old. I couldn't hack being a full-time student anymore. I don't know how these youngins do it. ;-)

fot, did you say something? I was looking at the shiny thing.

b, the dynamic is certainly different for 'required' work in comparison to something creative. Not that one cannot be creative in a paper, but it's not the same as writing a novel or a poem.

Believe me, I'll take sensuality over scholarship any day of the week, but I hate waiting until the last minute to churn out a paper, especially one where I'll be correcting thousands of grammatical errors. ;-)

okjimm, is that a perennial in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

dean, that sounds like some weirdo, avant-garde porn flick. You could be the Ron Jeremy of the art world!

Randal Graves said...

liberality, thanks, but at least the pressure is ratcheted down a notch when it's merely a class for one's edification. I settled into my rut long ago, heh.

Faded said...

hehe. good stuff. I had my first married argument about the grass yesterday, in fact.

Faded said...

hehe. good stuff. I had my first married argument about the grass yesterday, in fact.

Faded said...

hehe. good stuff. I had my first married argument about the grass yesterday, in fact.

Tom Harper said...

I solved that lawn problem by living downtown. We have a large rooftop with great views and a few potted plants, but no lawn to mow.

susan said...

Well, the way things are going everybody will be turning God's Green Partial Acre into a vegetable patch. Lawns were invented by upper class Brits to show off the architecture of their country homes.

btw: 2 movies seen recently that might be of interest (if not already viddied by you)

District B13
and
Paris, Je T'Aime

Randal Graves said...

faded, oh there will be more. But to be fair, this wasn't really an argument, just her way of needling me because apparently that's comical.

tom, if I was a single dude, I'd probably do that. All the stuff that I drive to (sporting events, concerts) would be on a bus line. Certainly cut back on the gas!

susan, I'd love to take the essentially pointless lawn and plant some vegetables there, but there's no way in hell I'd trust that they'd stay on the vine. Punkass kids!

I've wanted to see the latter and haven't yet. As for the other, isn't that the Luc Besson sci-fi flick? Haven't seen that either. Man, I'm a slacker!

susan said...

Yeah, it's the Luc Besson sci-fi thing the best part of which is the sport of parkour (sp?)as it's practiced in Paris.. building hopping! The movie isn't that great but watching that action was fun.

The other one we liked enough to send to our son.. and they have to be good for that since he deserves the best.

dguzman said...

Now you'd best get to work on that paper, young man. Oh, and my lawn needs mowing too--get busy.

Randal Graves said...

susan, ah, that's crazy practice. I'd try it once and break all 206 bones.

dguzman, hey, you don't swing that way, so I ain't listening. ;-) Well, sort of, since I do need to finish it. I think the President might be onto something about lookin' down on this book larnin'.

Freida Bee said...

Oh man, a couple months ago, I made grandiose promises of domestic accomplishment in the grand tradition of "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday...." And here it is, nearly upon me. I think I have to mow the lawn this summer. I became immune when in my family of origin, I had an allergic bee sting while doing so. There's five acres (no riding mower, but fortunately most is wooded, but there's about an acre that's not, and snakes, etc. Too bad people cannot barter across the ethers for such matters. My husband doesn't realize the extent to which I would go.... To bad my husband is not like Dean. He's now blown up all our expectations.

Freida Bee said...

Oh, and good luck on your paper.

Utah Savage said...

I was a film student for awhile and actually got penalized for creativity. My B was justified because I incorporated my personal life as a film maker with the like of a Polish man in a small town who gets a camera and becomes obsessed with living his life through the view finder. It was probably the best academic paper I ever wrote. That B and the exorbitant cost of actually making films ended my career as the woman who put porn for women on the map.

Randal Graves said...

FB, an acre is certainly a chunk of real estate, especially when it comes to mowing. As for dean, he's really screwed up everything now. Don't you hate an overachiever? And thanks.

utah savage, penalized for creativity in a film class? That's like getting penalized for solving a physics equation with math. And porn isn't as expensive as other films. Imagine Michael Bay producing one. On second thought, don't.