"The hell we are! We both made movies just last year! And learn to spell while you're at it. Is everyone in the colonies as stupid as you?"
Not Rosencrantz, but German philosopher Johann Karl Friedrich Rosenkranz was indeed born on this day in 1805. I'm sure some guy with the surname of Guildenstern was as well. Both are presumed dead.
"Er, what about me?"
What about you? You're dead, too.
"But my works aren't."