"Hey, children, it's storytime! Today we'll be reading My Pet G --"
"Hold it right there, kid. You're gonna listen to this story instead. And don't forget the rest. If you know what's good for you."
"I know what's good for me, Sam, and it's a saucy tale."
"Saucy is fine and dandy, but how about saucy with a side of strange."
"We'll keep going. You want another one? Just say the word. Instead of going to prison you'll hear this story about a bastard."