All this merely because I posted about one of my loves, professional basketball? Oh, Freida Bee, don't make me put up another piece of putrescent verse, you know I don't have anything randomly interesting left to say.
Thus, as chiseled on white marble streaked with pulsing veins of porphyry, carefully excavated from underneath an ancient temple in the faraway lands over the sea, older than the first city-states themselves, as seen in the British Museum [cue music of awe-inspiring humility and supplication] the rules:
*Link to the person who tagged you.
*Post the rules on your blog.
*Write six random things about yourself.
*Tag six random people by linking to their blogs.
*Let each of the six know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment (on each blog).
*Let your tagger know when your entry is up.
1. Whenever I hear or see the word 'frog,' the first thing that immediately pops in my head is an image of Charles Durning singing "frog legs, frog legs, get 'em while they're hot!" I have no control over this.
2. It's disturbingly comic yet thoroughly unsurprising that when one combs through past experience and events to find something worth talking about, it's nearly always something that one doesn't want to talk about, for whatever reason, good, bad or a murky mixture of the two. Does this count as number two? Damn right it does.
That sounds far more mysterious and intriguing than it truly is. I'm simply a smart aleck cartoon character with a hat. No torrid love affairs nor tales of righteous violence here.
3. After my great-grandmother kicked the bucket (save your fucking gasps, she was one snarky chick) during the waning days of Saint Ronnie's kingship, amidst the dispersal of her stuff to various members of the family, we received The Great Pumpkin, her orange Chevette, a wondrous relic of the Bitchin' Camero, bralessness and weed-saturated 70s. When one has been instructed on and driven nothing but cars with power steering, to go to that thing with its notoriously bad steering column was quite interesting. I laugh when I picture the modern jackass trying to multitask with a cell phone all-but-glued between the ear and shoulder, one hand holding a steaming hot cup of coffee -- just don't put it between your legs, the one shot at suing McDonald's is long gone -- the other desperately pleading with futility to cut him or her some slack and please, oh God/Allah/Zeus/Odin/Marduk/Flying Spaghetti Monster -- Cthulhu doesn't give a shit about your problems -- let me make this turn without crashing into that hot dog cart or mailbox!
4. I'm really straining here. I already told the story about the Lego guillotine. Wait, I do recall once upon a time that when my neighbor's dad was putting in the foundations for a deck, we stole a bag of Quick Crete to see if we could make some stone shoes. Relax. It's not as if Johnny suffered that much. He had all those fish to eat, and that's brain food, so I'm sure he used his newly discovered smarts to find his way back to the surface. Or maybe we just buried some Star Wars figures up to their necks in the backyard. At least that's what I told the cops.
5. I Can't Remember anything else.
6. No, really, I can't. So, go Earth Day, buy a Green Machine.
I'm sure everyone has been tagged or is in the process of being tagged by now, and if not, enjoy the freedom given to us by Der Leader and choose whether or not to complete this meme. God Bless Darth Vader!