Thursday, April 24, 2008

Sudden Death 2: Electric Boogaloo

"You wish you had these electric threads, Randal."

Didn't Meatloaf once sing "four out of eight ain't bad?" Okay, so I stupidly, blindly chose the Devils -- heart over head will get you every time, as the Rangers did indeed dominate the Devils during the regular season; many thanks to Spartacus for reminding me -- but dammit, five of the six Avalanche-Wild games were decided by one goal, the Capitals lost in a game 7 overtime and Anaheim was apparently still hungover from all the Stanley Cup boozing and subsequent scraping of the vomit off their skates. At least I don't dress like Don Cherry.

Montreal vs. Philadelphia: What the hell happened to the Habs power play? The Flyers have -- outside of Old Man Kovalev -- more playoff experience up front (Briere, Prospal) and clutch of impressive young talent (Lupul, Richards, Carter), but Montreal has the blueline edge and a more critical one in goal, Carey Price's game 6, third period meltdown notwithstanding. Canadiens in six.

Pittsburgh vs. N.Y. Rangers: The best young offensive talent in the game against a legitimate defensive juggernaut. Sure, the Devils weren't as potent as in years past, but Henrik Lundqvist shut them down. He won't be as successful in slowing Crosby, Malkin and the gang, and if Fleury plays like that in goal again, despite their long layoff after easily dispatching the Senators, it won't matter anyway. There will be some initial rusty butterflies to take care of. Thus, Penguins in seven.

Detroit vs. Colorado: Any chance we can round up Patrick Roy, Mike Vernon, Claude Lemieux and Darren McCarty for a battle royale? Colorado's oddly successful mix of Methuselahism (Sakic, Forsberg, Foote), injured mullets (Smyth) and wild mood swings (Theodore) worked in the first round but Detroit overcame their near-annual nemesis, an inferior first round opponent and are therefore ready for the long haul. Add in Chris Osgood playing like it was 1998 and their old guys should have enough left in the tank to move on. Red Wings in seven.

San Jose vs. Dallas: "The Sharks, deeper than most of the league and as talented as anyone, will dispatch Calgary with ease." It took them seven. "That's okay, the Stars will set the world to rights by losing as they always do in the first round because of their putrid offense." They scored 3.33 goals/game against the defending champs (and their future Hall of Famer back tandem) which would've led the NHL during the regular season. So, hell if I know. San Jose was the best road team in the league, but middle-of-the-pack at home. Since they have home ice, this can only mean they'll advance, right? Sharks in seven.


okjimm said...

HOCKEY! Who gives a PUCK about HOCKEY! Hockey is about as much fun as watching mosquitos die in a bug zapper!
Where's the poetry?
The Beer?
The Politics?
The snark?
Wowsers! I bet some baseball related thing-a-ma-Bob is next.

I'm gonna start posting recipes if you are not careful. Brownies anyone?

Mary Ellen said...

Wow...does Chicago even HAVE a hockey team? ;-)

Hockey is nothing but Wrestle mania on ice. During the regular season, it's nothing but three minutes of play between fights and some guy sitting in time out in the penalty box.

But, I like that suit! You've got to have a lot of confidence to wear something like that...or no eye sight.

Anonymous said...

Don't know much about hockey accept Canadians like it and the players are missing teeth. Pimpin' suit however.

Anonymous said...

RG - You know I'm a Rangers fan, but still I agree. That series can go either way, but I think the younger legs may prevail. Lundqvist is hot right now, but we'll see how he handles a Penguins team that knows how to move the puck up ice and takes a hell of lot more shots per game than the Devils. The only x-factor I can think of in the Rangers favor is that they took the regular season series 5-3...(I think.) We'll see in a few weeks.

FranIAm said...

What on earth are you talking about?

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, I give a puck, dammit!
Poetry? Maybe later!
Beer? I prefer wine!
The politics? Maybe tomorrow!
The snark? All the time! Okay, most of it is of low quality, but me not edumacated like Der Leader at an elitist skool.

Only if they're special brownines!

ME, Oh yeah? Well, baseball is nothing but boredom on grass. During the regular season, it's nothing but three hours of standing around between ass-slappings and some guy spitting sunflower seeds or tobacco juice in the dugout.

I'd never wear a suit like that. One with daffodils, maybe.

fot, I think he had a small role on Starsky and Hutch.

spartacus, on paper, easily the most intriguing series that's left I think. The Penguins do have the edge in age, but it's not as if Drury and Gomez are ancient by any stretch and Dubinsky has been a nice surprise. I just wish my cable company got Versus. I'll get to see games 2 and 5, that's it. Bastards!

Randal Graves said...

fran, heavy drinking, what else? Don't be so silly next time, okay?

pissed off patricia said...

Are we there yet? I'm thirsty. I want something to eat. I just came along for the ride because my knowledge of the subject is about as lacking as McCain's knowledge of.....well anything.

Dean Wormer said...

Yes, but how is the Russian bear doing? That's where I put my money.

He is the king of hockey.

Hockey-challenged jimm said...

Boy&stuff...I am having fun with that link from Anita

'Thou gleeking rude-growing puttock! '

Hey, would that be an insult to a hockey fan?

whatza puttock, anyways? Is there a puttock in hockey?

And 'Gleeking'? How many penalty minutes do you get for 'gleeking'?

Ana ifa ya gleek a puttock too much...what then?

Shit&Whiskers! Hockey may be OK after all!!

Randal Graves said...

POP, my friends, hockey is very simple...

dean, are you kidding? If we let the Russian Bear in the tournament, well, what's the point of having a tournament? He'd crush everyone by his lonesome, even an all-star team!

hockey jimm, I think gleeking is game misconduct. See, hockey is great!

dguzman said...