Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Blah blah diddy gumby pokey blah

"Ya'll on ma team, heh heh."

Well, whaddya know, Chimpy turned out to be a uniter after all.

In a brief appearance in the White House Rose Garden, Mr. Bush said American voters in large numbers had “showed a watching world the vitality of America’s democracy and the strides we have made toward a more perfect union.”
Mostly a uniter.

The bulk of the Great Plains remains land of the rare and cunning Inhofe.
“Many of our citizens thought they would never live to see that day,” he said.

This is true.
“During this time of transition, I will keep the president-elect fully informed of important decisions,” Mr. Bush said.
"Hussein! Hussein! I went potty all by myself!"

You know, this might be the most uninspired post I've ever done.

"That's a bold statement."

Hear me out, brain. I took a vacuous article about absolutely nothing important spewed from the Lame Quack, came up with my usual mix of grade-Z snark and The Google-d photos et voilà. I'm so fucking burned out on this fucking political shit. I know nearly everyone is wrapping themselves in sugary-to-the-point-of-vomiting happy fun candy, but it's akin to being joyful that you only lost one leg and only suffered first degree burns in a car wreck instead of ending up an armless, legless, skinless wonder of the twentieth century.

I cannot help but recall something that Chris Barnes, former lead singer of Cannibal Corpse, once uttered: you can't ignore the guy stabbing you.

Politics, put the knife down and fuck off.


Tom Harper said...

Yes, Dumbya was right -- he really is a Uniter. It just took him 8 years to do it.

Liberality said...

Now we gotta worry about fixing all this fucked up shit--that's a whole lotta fixin'to be goin' on there don't cha know!

FranIAm said...

So much of what went wrong with McCain's candidacy (to which i say yay) was due to his overarching self-absorbed narcissistic desire to be president.

That was a chance robbed from him by none other than Preznit Chimpyballs, the so-called uniter!

This morning I realized that once again, in an entirely different manner - Chimpy robbed McCain again.

Fool me once! Fool me twice! Yeah!

Randal Graves said...

tom, to play devil's advocate, Der Leader didn't exactly give us a timetable. Well played, Chimpy!

liberality, eight years worth of shit, and that's just from the neocon fucks. I'm not even talking about the destruction of our bizarre death-grip on 'American exceptionalism.' Which will likely never go away.

fran, exactly. There's good narcissism and bad narcissism. And the fact that he let those vile fucks run his campaign leads me to have NO sympathy for the jackass, I don't care how unnerved he was by the jackboots booing during his concession speech. Fuck him and fuck anyone who willingly pals around with wingnut power brokers.

I don't know why I'm so angry today. I blame being at work.

Snave said...

Grade Z? Randal, your snark is some of the very best! Doesn't it at least rate a P or a Q? I have to give it an A for adorable, because... it IS great. I laughed out loud at the potty remark, but hey, that's just me.

I'll stick with that delicious, vapid, sugary-to-the-point-of-vomiting happy fun candy (another one I laughed out loud at, because I am currently gorging myself on the stuff) and I'll mindlessly jump up and down with joy for a few days, thanks ...but then soon enough I will be back into being an obsessive, worrying, sarcastic socially reclusive fellow with a spotty benind from spending too much time sitting in front of my computer.

Chimpy is a uniter all right. Most of the world has become quite united in their opinion of the United States during the last eight years. Thanks, Chimpy for your legacy of addled policies, your lack of empathy and compassion, and your leaving the country we love in a complete mess. Don't let the door hit your butt on your way out to Paraguay or wherever... or better yet, let it hit you good and hard. Good riddance, if and when we actually do get rid of you.

Border Explorer said...

Like Snave said: Chimpy united the whole country in a deadly hatred of himself. Worst. President. Ever. [Beating Nixon=no small thing.]

America is still screwing the world and rotting from within. The rate of rot will be slower under O than it was under W, so I'm eating happy fun candy today. Then back to snarking. [um, can i have your candy if you're not going to eat it?]

okjimm said...

JesusChrist&RustyNails!!!!!!!!!!!! that was some of the funniest shit I have read in ..... well, awhile!!! Put me in the mood for another beer! :)

Randal Graves said...

snave, well, maybe an R or an S on a good day.

an obsessive, worrying, sarcastic socially reclusive fellow with a spotty benind from spending too much time sitting in front of my computer

You almost say that as if that's a bad thing!

We all know that war criminals from industrialized Western nations don't serve jail time, so good riddance is about all we can hope for with these jokers.

BE, sock it to me? And that's how I look at it. Last time I checked, we're still America, The Empire. Under Obama, a kindler, gentler one - and one that can speak in complete sentences and hold more than half a thought simultaneously - but an empire nonetheless.

okjimm, dude, you'd drink a beer in honor of Wednesday.

Hey, it's Wednesday, have a beer! ;-)

okjimm said...

Yuppers....Wendesday... good for tow beres.

Spartacus said...

Yes He Did! Obama's finally thrown the Prezteldent Chimpy McFlightsuit that's been hanging around our neck these last eight years. Shout it from the rooftops and throw some confetti. We've slayed the Mooselini/McDoodypants dragon. Sorry, Randal, I'll stop channeling my inner second-grader now.

How about that beer with okjimm?

Utah Savage said...

Glad you're back and in such good spirits. Me? I'm euphoric. It could be the apple pie I baked yesterday or that I missed taking my bipolar drugs. But I don't really care because for the moment I'm happy. Take that!

Übermilf said...

I'm just happy my fellow Chicagoans didn't embarrass themselves on a global scale.

And, for now, Obama hasn't screwed up.

Kvatch said...

In contrast to the Utah Savage, I'm pissed. The luster left the election for me the moment I realized that Prop. 8 (CA, gay marriage ban) would pass.

I swear that if they annul the 18,000 marriages that took place this summer, I will quit this f*cking state, take my skills, my company, and get the hell-out-o-dodge.

susan said...

Like the Onion article said, "The nation is now shitty enough to make social progress."

Housing market cash? - check
Bank failures? - check
2 unwinnable wars? - check
Energy crisis? - check
Environmental disaster? - check
Health care crisis? - check

Got the bailout money? - check.. I hear Dubai's nice - let's go.

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, you're starting to misspell your words. You better drink until you're sober again.

spartacus, gather 'round mes amis and let's get plastered. And then we'll head to South America to throw rotten eggs at Chimpy's house.

utah, yeah? I see your happy and raise you an angry! Now pass me a piece of that apple pie, s'il vous plaît. You wouldn't want anyone else to not be happy, right?

übermilf, I think most Americans wait until sporting championships before burning cars and smashing storefronts.

And it's early.

kvatch, how the fuck does a state go over 60% for Obama but is so easily swayed by a bunch of Mormon-funded ads?

It's 2008 people. Grow up.

susan, that's why, even though I understand the euphoria of most, I remain extra cynical. ALL that shit happened and you don't think the utter failure of Bush and the goopers from the viewpoint of the populace didn't contribute to Obama winning?

Do you think the next round of stimuli will be enough to buy one of those man-made islands?

Dean Wormer said...

What Fran said.

But McCain's a grownup. He CHOSE to put his head up Chimpy's ass. He can blame Palin or Bush all he wants but the loss is on him and him alone.

If only he'd been more of a mavericky Maverick. Not the faux Maverick.

Randal Graves said...

dean, can I get an Ay-men. If he's such a freethinking Maverick®, a 72-year old freethinking Maverick®, you really have no one to blame but the socialists. I mean, yourself. Damn you, lie-brul media.

Iheartfashion said...

Point taken. Obama's inherited a hell of a mess.
But it could be worse...picture President Palin.

Randal Graves said...

No thanks. The last time I did, my head exploded and do you realize just how delicate a procedure it is to reassemble a skull with Elmer's school glue?

DCup said...

The title says it all for Republicans.