Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Number of the Beast

In honor of this, my 666th post --

"You're just a walking cliché, ain't ya. No, wait, walking requires effort."

Touché. And in lieu of a YouTube that would sound, if you actually clicked on the damn thing, like nails on hell's chalkboard to you non-metalhead chumps poorly versed in the beauties of oppressively dissonant riffery, here's the Official Trailer® from one of the crappiest finest pieces of art ever filmed, a cosmic tour-de-force of good versus evil:

The moral of the special effects?

Not even Satan himself can deal with the awesome power of Shatner.


Mary Ellen said...

LOL! Ernest Borgnine??? And of course, you can't have a movie about Satan without the obligatory virgin sacrifice. Too funny.

Well, happy 666 day to you, kiddo. May all your days be filled with fire and brimstone. ;-)

Bull said...

Work computers block teh YouTubes.

Congrats on reaching the holy number. May the Esoteric Order of Dagon rightfully beatify you into the unfathomable depths of his tentacled glory.

La Belette Rouge said...

Happy 666 to you. Burn-burn-burn baby burn, disco inferno.
So, are you saying that we are you are your worshipers and your demons? I am just askin'.

That is quite a cast and those special effects. Not sure how I missed it.

MRMacrum said...

I couldn't resist "The Devil's Rain". Something made me fire it up. It is indeed one for the smelter or should I say melter. I think the guy with the horns works at the 7 Eleven down to Springvale.

Randal Graves said...

Nunly, don't forget a young Tom Skerritt! And Mr. Scientology himself, John Travolta! You have to see this flick, it's completely awful.

bull, work computers are the real devil. Darkest blessings and praise unto Yog-Sothoth!

LBR, it's possible, but where's all the sex, drugs and rock and roll? All I see are books and empty coffee pots.

Rent it, some of the worst 90 minutes you'll ever spend.

mrmacrum, if you had to work third shift selling slurpees to meth-addled teens, you'd melt, too.

susan said...

That one looks almost as bad as 'Manos, Hands of Fate' but not quite as tacky as as 'Plan 9'. I'd give it a 6.66 too. Congrats on meeting yet another auspicious figure.

Christopher said...


Have you used Hulu? It's fun.

Entire TV programs, movie clips and concerts are found on Hulu and the picture quality is great. Better than a lot of the stuff on YouTube.

Check it out. I'll be curious what you think.

okjimm said...

666? Wasn't that a TV show in the 60's? Route 666?

Or was it the sign of Devil's Food Cake?

Tom Harper said...

That video is a dire warning of what will happen to our great nation. If homosexuals and abortionists are allowed to take over America, those gory scenes will be taking place in YOUR hometown, on YOUR street.

This is a warning to Ye of Little Faith. We MUST bring Jesus into our lives. Or Else.

Utah Savage said...

Sorry my little devil, but it was/is my generation that got all the sex drugs and rock and roll. And you got heavy metal and condoms for all you lifelong illicit sex. You have us to thank for that. You guys didn't even get psychedelics did you?

Congrats on the 666 thingy. You da man. Word.

Utah Savage said...

I just checked my post output and today is my 665th. I party tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Randal... I just blew through post 200 the other day without nary a peep. But did you have to turn your 666th into a PSA for the Church of Latter Day Saints? I thought for sure you were going to get Billy Mays to hawk those Rapture books.

Mauigirl said...

Happy 666! And Shatner - awesome, didn't even know about this old movie!

Beach Bum said...

Happy 666, Damn I even saw Tom Skerritt's name in the credits. Went to a Star Trek convention once and heard James Doohan talk about Shatner like he was the devil, this movie explains a lot.

Randal Graves said...

susan, Plan 9 has some redeeming qualities amidst its hackery. This flick really drags on, but, Shatner!

christopher, thanks for the tip, I'll definitely have to check it out. Of course, with something this good, I couldn't pass on that grainy, this-is-crap quality.

okjimm, isn't that where everyone with horns got their kicks?

tom, preach it, Brother Harper. Verily, the minions of Obama the Abortionizing Socialist are lurking behind every tree!

utah, but I like heavy metal. Okay, we can't buy tabs of acid from vending machines like you guys used to, but still.

I expect much partying at your place today.

spartacus, I wonder if Billy Mays will be raptured. That's the question, isn't it: are all of his oh-so-helpful products heavenly, or merely a nefarious plot of Old Scratch?

mauigirl, if you're so inclined, and you'd have to be completely plastered to be so, I believe they have the entire flick in pieces on YouTube.

BB, "Sir, you're well past limits now!"

"Scotty....I need....more assholery!"

Übermilf said...

You and I are members of the highly exclusive "have mentioned/linked to "Devil's Rain" club.

Randal Graves said...

Gasp! You linked to that as well? If you had a newsletter or a cult indoctrination center, I would subscribe to your mailings!

Distributorcap said...

i knew you were a shill for Proctor and Gamble - that Ohio company of the devil

Bubs said...

I loved that movie when I was a kid. I love it even more now.