On our last visit to Placeholder Place, the smooth Mr. Smooth was heating himself up some celluloid friction with the vivaciously sultry cigaress, Mary Jane. On the lookout for angry, would-be beau Hunk Johnson, busy off camera boiling his own inept blood, was Sonny the Snitch.
Sonny the Snitch: Knock, knock, knock.
Mary Jane: Hunk! He's here!
Mr. Smooth: Relax, there's no way he could've heard our chin.
Hunk Johnson: Wrong, Smoothie. This plan was duck soup.
Mr. Smooth: Dropped a dime, didn't you, Sonny.
*BLAM!*
Mary Jane: No, Smoothie, I did. Hunk, darling, the loot's in the heap.
*for dramatic purposes, and because the only shot of Rita Hayworth holding a gun that I could find was one of her brandishing blonde hair, pretend that the smoke is from a pistol. I pride myself on consistency, as evidenced here today*
Mr. Smooth: Who knew my last role would be as the patsy?
Hunk Johnson: We knew, Smoothie. Just think of all that scratch, babe, half for you, half for me. And a nickel for a job well done, Sonny.
Sonny the Snitch: Once a third wheel, always a third wheel.
Fin.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Return to Placeholder Place Returns Again
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
13 comments:
Bravo!!! BRAVO!!!
Don't ever let them remake this with mediocre, annorexic, attention deficit twenty-something actors.
Unless they offer you lots of money. Like, $50 or something.
That is all sorts of win!
Sorry Chef: Stay tuned for the remake, starring Justin Timberlake and Miley Cyrus.
SO...... where's the baseball post??? Have the Cleveland Cubs started playing yet?
I mean.... they do have a baseball team in Cleveland, right? Or do they just rent one for the season...... I heard you could rent whole baseball teams from the Dominican Republic real cheap.
Is your real name Larry?
Who me? Oh I just made a wrong turn. Looking for Sam's Deli...you wouldn't happen to have a ham with swiss on rye? I saw a Chef (over there ----->). And a diet coke decaf if you have it.
I'm speechless and my fingers don't work.
The Sons of Lee Marvin salute you!
Still waiting for Mary Jane's nude scene.
Once again you prove that clever is as clever does. Bravo.
..and you didn't even have to resort to the silver nose.
chef, I was going to say I never would, not even for $49.99, but the studio has the rights.
dean, I feel like a poor man's poor man's Bogey!
tom, now that was just cruel.
okjimm, I realized yesterday that I hadn't done a baseball preview, but then figured with the Indians sucking Erie Canal water, hell with it.
übermilf, know how rockers cringe at Spinal Tap while we laugh? I cringed at that video. I need some shades, though.
sherry, we have decaf rye and whole wheat Coke.
utah, CVS sells robot fingers for five bucks a pack.
bubs, woo! Lee was fucking great.
BB, sorry man, she wouldn't do it for "artistic reasons."
susan, I think I accidentally shot someone's Maltese Falcon though.
"Vivaciously sultry cigaress" - Freaking brilliant! I may steal it...
Post a Comment