Saturday, June 6, 2009

A hunka hunka burnin' crap

"Pourquoi est-ce que je dois être si court?"

Using The Google to locate choice imagery to couple with my expertly crafted prose, my original plan was to create a masterpiece of comedy chronicling the America! Yay! jaunt of Hussein X through the foetid backwater that is Old Europe, skillfully uniting the visual, the literary and the humorous, a disparate trinity cycling into a cohesive whole not seen since the days when the works of Aristophanes were fresh upon the stage.

Then I remembered that I suck. Then I remembered that I'm perilously close to the edge of bloggy burnout. So you get a video of an exploding head instead.


sunshine said...

That was almost as bad as Utah's toenail!
Wow.. it looked so real. Ewww! LOL
You don't suck! Would I be stalking you so diligently if you sucked? No I wouldn't.
You're smart and funny and we all hang off of every word you write down. True, I only understand about a third of it all but that's my weakness, not yours. ;)
Okay, if you need anymore ego boosting you know where to find me.
Muah and Hugs

Übermilf said...

You don't suck any more than the rest of us.

That video upsets me, because I am one of your younger or more sensitive viewers.

Demeur said...

You definitely have a unique sense of humor Randal.

Nothing worse than not being able to find just the right pics for a concept. Eh?

Distributorcap said...

that post read like some sartre existentialist novel.

are you one of the characters in Waiting for Godot

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, it's alright, I know my posts are only semi-coherent, but if you show me your SNES, I'll show you mine.

übermilf, frankly, I don't think there was enough blood.

demeur, I found some decent pics, but I couldn't come up with any comical captions. I blame Joe Biden's hairplugs.

dcap, of course not. After five minutes, I would've been outta there.

sunshine said...

That sounds like a challenge to me! I'll post pictures of me and my Super Nintendo later.
I'll be expecting to see yours apres moi!

sunshine said...

It is done ....

Beach Bum said...

Then I remembered that I suck. Then I remembered that I'm perilously close to the edge of bloggy burnout.

First, no you don't. Second, as for the burnout we have B-ranked celebrities down in Costa Rica so hungry for attention they will eat dead spiders. I would just about kill, or even worse make myself listen to a Blago speech to get your take on that shit.

sunshine said...

Ooooo Beach Bum!!! Are you watching I"m a Celeb get me Outta here? I am. Laura loves it! LOL~sorry. I've even recorded them. Anything with a couple of washed up Baldwin's on it is good tv to me!
Randal babes. I've thought it over and I won't hold you to your promise to show me yours if I showed you mine. Just because I like to show off my stuff doesn't mean everyone does. :) At the very least you don't have to show pictures of you kissing I did. (yes, I take things way too far, I know that)
Anyhow... enjoy the rest of your weekend! I swear I'm done stalking ...for now anyway.
Ciao for Niao!

susan said...

Couldn't they have just photoshopped President Hussein X and the Mrs at famous European landmarks? Come to think of it they could have done that with Air Force One and the Statue of Liberty a couple of months ago.

Congrats btw, that video was one of the most disgusting things I've seen all week. Then again I don't watch tv so have been spared Fox News.

Dr. Zaius said...

Ha! That video is pretty awesome! I love sight gags. ;o)

sunshine said...

Okay, if you have a counter somewhere on this blog you'll know how many times I've peeked in. (my equivalent to pacing.)
Go see my Super Nintendo! Now!!! :)

okjimm said...

//the edge of bloggy burnout.//

Ya know.... I was there once. Alla I had to do was change beer brands 'n' I was back in biznuss. See, it's kinda like Daylight Savings Time.... you switch to light lagers and Ales and Wheat beer in the summer and then switch back to Dark Ales and Porters in the fall..... just think aboutz it like this.... Belch Forward, Burp Back.... then you doan haveta worry about blog burn-out.

La Belette Rouge said...

Ooh, I love it when you use lack of blogging material to enter into self-reflective angst.
p.s. I love Obama in the spring time. I love Sarkozy in the fall. Hmm...I think I have the start of a song.

S.W. anderson said...

Randal, you don't suck. There's obviously an audience for semi-coherence, so don't worry about that. As for burnout, the muse or whatever can be fickle and mischievous.

If you want to get the creative spark back, you need a change of pace and to put yourself where there are triggers for your creativity. Seriously.

Put away the heavy metal stuff for awhile and listen to some Basie, Ellington and Ella Fitzgerald. Music with melody and polish can be delightful, especially this time of year.

Grab breakfast at a really good roadside diner or neighborhood cafe, as opposed to some chain place.

Instead of riding the bus, beg, borrow or buy a scooter or moped.

Instead of reading late 19th-century fiction, grab a copy of Robert Reich's Supercapitalism. It's as splendidly readable as it is timely, informative and insightful.

Finally, instead of just resenting your problematic neighbor, stuff a potato in his tailpipe or get him drunk and then challenge him to a game of lawn darts, or something, to get that out of your system.

I hope this helps. ;)

Übermilf said...

I didn't realize we were supposed to offer you helpful suggestions.

Here are mine:

Walk down the street completely naked, except for a vampire cape

Challenge the local college kids to a drinking contest/sumo wrestling

Go swimming in the Cuyahoga River in a girl's size 6 Tinkerbell swimsuit

Watch Bride Wars 20 times in succession

Get your head out of your ass

Eat more fiber

okjimm said...

oh...oh...I getz it! Inspire Randal!
OK....ten things to inspire Randal!
1 get a pedicure. nothing like having your tootsies touched!

2 visit the grave of Dodo Ratchman

3 Prunes. one word says it all

4 sex. Hey, if one word doan work, pick another

5 Remember... Sex and Prunes doan mix

6 Play the Monkees' "Last Train to Clarksville" ten times

7 find new uses for Urban Blight

8 determine how many peas the Pope could pickle if Popes pickled peas, please!

9 visit Des Moines, IA. Every tenth visitor gets a free cob of corn.

10 Just forget about it and have a beer

Dusty said...

It's way too friggin early to watch that will harm my psyche I just know it.

Sorry bout the Cav's. It broke my heart too.

sunshine said...

You don't smell rabbit stew by any chance do you? :)
Damn. Am I going to have to find a new boy toy?

Chef Cthulhu said...

You know, there were lots of exploding heads on Gordon Brown's "Obama Beach" in Normandy 65 years ago...

Don't worry...I been in bloggy burnout land for nearly three'll be back.

S.W. anderson said...

Übermilf, okjimm, those were some great suggestions. No mention of creative uses for goldfish, even. Bravo!

Randal Graves said...

I leave for a few days and come back to find out all of you people are fucking insane. Wait, I already knew that. C'mon someone tell me something I don't know, like the numbers for the next Powerball drawing. I swear everyone gets a cut.

sunshine said...

Tee Hee.... :)

Freida Bee, MD said...

2 45 14 17 23 9

There you go.

I understand having a concept for something so completely brilliant and then being to frazzled to implement it and so the idea dies. This was a meet-up of grand socialistic proportions, but you could always re create it when you're playing with your weeble wobbles later, and we'll be right here. Unless, we're not.

I don't like violence simulated, or otherwise, so I am deeply emotionally disturbed, and I am oging to blame that video.

Randal Graves said...

Weebles wobble but, surprisingly, they don't fall down. Speaking of down, lemme write those numbers. I feel a treasure chest of treasure coming on!