Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Sheer madness

This is national security.

This is national security on transparency.

Any questions?

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okjimm said...

Any Questions???
Shit, ya!!!!

who invented 'North'?
why do the Cubs still play baseball if they never fucking win the series?
How do they get that jelly in the doughnut?
What's the point of buying milk that is only 1%?
Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop?
Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Why do fools fall in love?

Got any doughnuts?

ok. I gotta go dance.

Mary Ellen said...

National Security? Nothing but a myth.

Just curl up in a ball under your desk and put a text book over your head...that's what they taught us during the Cuban missile crisis and we're all still alive to talk about it.

sunshine said...

Perhaps the birdie has some heavy ammo under its wing. :)
How clever! No one would suspect a sweet little bird!
I think we have a guinea pig in charge of our national security in Canada.
He's really jacked though..(and wears a Rambo bandana.)

Anonymous said...

That bird is a terrorist! It's carrying explosives under it's feathers and is on a suicide run to a bald eagle's nest. Obama... consider yourself warned.

Dusty said...

This is fucking great Randal! It says volumes whilst using as few words as possible. That redacted friggin memo really chap's my ass. As much as the Justice Dept supporting DOMA and DADT. Fucking hypocrites.

themom said...

Ah yes, a kamikaze bird headed our way. One never really knows for sure. But if you could answer okjimm's questions - I may just die a happy camper. :)

Dr. Zaius said...

Perhaps I wasn't clear when we spoke earlier. Let me clarify the issue to you on this nifty medical chart... ;o)

Randal Graves said...

okjimm, Santa Claus, because the Indians never fucking win the series either and it beats flipping burgers at McDonalds, a jelly shotgun, because 0.5% is really bland, be bop deluxe, Deacon Jones, turn left at Albuquerque, better than falling in a hole (sometimes), no.

nunly, you can try to sex me up with swanky Cold War tales all you like, I'm not revealing my visitor logs.

When I was a wee lad, they made us line up outside against the wall of the credit union. I figured that a nuclear strike would render such action moot.

sunshine, does the guinea pig use cans of Molson as ammo?

spartacus, there are cells everywhere! Why, just the other day one of those jihadists shit on my car!

dusty, then it worked out exactly as planned, not because I'm lazy and didn't want to write anything. ;-)

And then you have the goopers voting against war supplementals when NOT voting for them just a few months ago was a case of the Benedict Arnolds. All a bunch of tools. Except for my man Dennis.

themom, go on your camping trip, but don't die. ;-)

dr.zaius, that's it, from now on I will only comment at your place in French!

Übermilf said...

I don't get it. Could you please make it clearer?

La Belette Rouge said...

For a second I thought it was just a pretty ornathological post. Alas, this free bird cannot change.Lord knows, you can't change! See, I know other lyrics than just Morrissey's or those of Le French Chubby Checkers.

Tom Harper said...

I was able to read the blacked-out parts of that memo. Shocking! Some really kinky twisted news about the Bush twins, Bristol Palin and Cheney's daughter (you have to guess which one).

Randal Graves said...

übermilf, give your monitor a quick spray of Windex. That should help.

LBR, okay, you do, but do you actually like Skynyrd?

tom, I'd rather not and just get back to drinking heavily.

Demeur said...

Ubermilf, Just ask Sarah Palin she'll give you a real simple answer. I think it's a Russian bird.

La Belette Rouge said...

Let's not split feathers or I will be forced to quote some Morrissey lyrics that would be appropriate for the situation. Such as:

So then you've found your place
You say I wanna be the first
Stand up comedian in outer space

But then in a fantastic bird
Fantastic bird

Space is gonna thrill you
Space could even kill you
But space will never love you like I do

Reflecting light down to earth
Oh yes and then some humour too
Just enough to make us know we don't miss you

Have you checked suspension in the fantastic bird
Fantastic bird

Science can engulf you
Science then propels you
But science will never love you like I do

What brings you down to earth
Ah yes of course
Yes, yes, it was a lack of applause"

Say something nice or I will quote more Morrissey, you know I'll do it.;-)

Randal Graves said...

demeur, she can see a bit of Russia wherever she travels.

LBR, oh yeah? Two can play at this game!

I was cutting the rug
Down at a place called the jug
With a girl named Linda Lu
When in walked a man
With a gun in his hand
And he was looking for you know who.
He said, hey there fellow,
With the hair colored yellow,
Whatcha tryin' to prove?
cause that's my woman there
And I'm a man who cares
And this might be all for you.

I was scared and fearing for my life.
I was shakin' like a leaf on a tree.
cause he was lean, mean,
Big and bad, lord,
Pointin' that gun at me.
I said, wait a minute, mister,
I didn't even kiss her.
Don't want no trouble with you.
And I know you don't owe me
But I wish you'd let me
Ask one favor from you.

Wont you give me three steps,
Gimme three steps mister,
Gimme three steps towards the door?
Gimme three steps
Gimme three steps mister,
And you'll never see me no more.

I was thinking of posting some verse since you were so kind last time out, but I see how it's gonna be. ;-)

La Belette Rouge said...

I take your Lynyrd Skynyrd and I give you words from the master:
The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time
The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time

I will be
In the bar
With my head
On the bar
I am now
A central part
Of your mind's landscape
Whether you care
Or do not
Yeah, I've made up your mind

The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time
The more you ignore me
The closer I get
You're wasting your time

Beware !
I bear more grudges
Than lonely high court judges
When you sleep
I will creep
Into your thoughts
Like a bad debt
That you can't pay
Take the easy way
And give in
Yeah, and let me in
Oh, let me in
Oh let me ...
Oh, let me in

Checkmate! Mwah-ha-haaaaaaaa-ha!!

Beach Bum said...

National security my backside. That little bird could be carrying a nasty bio-weapon fomenting in its gut and trained by the evil (insert favorite bogeyman here) to fly over innocent Americans men and women sipping on their six dollar Starbucks and poop in their expensive coffee causing fatal erectile dysfunction and early onset terminal crankiness.

S.W. anderson said...

Ditto, what Dusty said.

okjimm went too far when he asked, "Who put the ram in the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong?"

There are things that are just too deep, too powerful, too transcendental — just too too — to be used as levity in a blog comment.

Let's show a little respect for one of life's enduring mysteries.

sunshine said...

Do you want to hear about True Sheer Madness?
Today on another ladies blog I actually left a comment that said.."I love your bush!!".
(of course I was talking about a jasmine bush but still!!)

Thank goodness that she's a good christian. She probably won't read anything into it.

Sorry ... I'm in a mood tonight!

Hill said...

Just a more articulate and better looking Dubya.

BTW, I removed his pic from my blog.

Fool me once...


Christopher said...

Maybe that nutcase Sarah Palin could pray more?

After all, McCandy belonged to a radical, Christian church that believes you can "pray away the gay," so why not "pray away the security threat," too?

Funny though, for all that prayer, McCandy couldn't keep her unmarried teenage daughter off the cock.

okjimm said...

S.W. /Let's show a little respect for one of life's enduring mysteries./

OK. We can leave that question alone..... but then I would pose another:

Where does that lint in belly-buttons come from?

And how much needs to be collected to make a pair of mittens?

Randal Graves said...

LBR, the master, you say? This one?

End of passion play, crumbling away
I'm your source of self-destruction
Veins that pump with fear, sucking darkest clear
Leading on your deaths construction

Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Dedicated to
How I'm killing you

Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master

Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream

And those jokers said war was good for absolutely nothing. ;-)

BB, you're exactly right, and unlike the drones we're currently using, there is a limit to stealthiness. But no one would suspect a bird!

SWA, you're right. I'm sorry. I simply didn't want to be sacked by Deacon Jones. Even at 70-something he's still scary.

sunshine, does she love your bush? I meant the greenery in your yard, of course.

hill, excuse me? Chimpy was the handsomest of handsome men. Jeff Gannon thought so and if you want to wrangle with Talon Media, well, you live on the edge.

christopher, maybe she wasn't praying to the right one, like that of that witchfinder general loon. You sir, were no Vincent Price.

okjimm, that's from the feds. How else do you think they keep track of your every move? Tapping your phone? You watch too many movies.

As for your second question, ask Mitt.

La Belette Rouge said...

In conclusion:

"So, goodbye
Please stay with your own kind
And I'll stay with mine...

I know I need hardly say
How much I love your casual way
Oh, but please put your Lynard Skynard(small alteration of lyrics) away
A little higher and we're well away
The dark nights are drawing in
And your humour is as black as them
I look at yours, you laugh at mine
And "love" is just a miserable lie
You have destroyed my flower-like life
Not once - twice
You have corrupt my innocent mind"

Sure, "Hang the DJ" was an obvious choice but I try not to go with the obvious.;-)

Randal Graves said...

Hey, that last one was old school Metallica. And all this time you had me fooled thinking that you were a metalhead and not a Mopey Morrissey Minion. ;-)

sunshine said...

I don't have a bush ~ in my yard that is. :)

S.W. anderson said...

Randal asked, "Where does that lint in belly-buttons come from?"

T-shirts, mostly. However, word has it one can now buy this material by the 8 oz. bag at WallyMart. It's imported from China, natch.

"And how much needs to be collected to make a pair of mittens?"

My Chinese source is looking into it. If he gets back to me, I'll be sure to let you know. :)

S.W. anderson said...

My apology, okjimm. I attributed your question to RG.

S.W. anderson said...

Christopher suggested, "Maybe that nutcase Sarah Palin could pray more?"

That's an excellent idea. It might keep Palin out of the media for awhile and thereby limit her ability to serve as a chronic, recurrent distraction from things that actually matter.

Truth be known, though, I doubt Palin is of a temperament to spend hours a day in prayer, meditation or contemplation. Watching soaps and talking on the phone, maybe, but not praying.

Randal Graves said...

SWA, now this is lead-free lint, right? I already get my daily USDA allowance of lead.

Can those hours on the phone be spent talking to more radio station pranksters from Canada? Now that was comical.

S.W. anderson said...

RG, lead-free belly-button lint, yes. Radioactive? YMMV.

Re: Palin. Yes, that phone prank was some priceless parlez vous. However, fool her once, shame on her. Fool her twice . . . uh, shame on . . .uh, shame . . . on me(?).