Wednesday, June 3, 2009

If only I had an electrified braining machine













Then I'd be able to fool my brain into thinking it was the brainiest year month week day of my life, but alas, it is not. Thus, instead of a prolix post full of a numbing yet mildly entertaining nothing resembling sense that can only be reached by spelunking down an abyss whose vertiginous walls and catacombs are caked with putrescent verse, this sparse post full of nothing but something resembling a void and no dope rhymes, save the following:

How do I loathe thee, let me count the ways.
Noodle, your powers are still out of phase;
Quick! lay down some Star Trek gobbledygoo
Captain's Log, stardate, work damn you, point two

Point of order, I -- fuck it. I was on dope. Sorry. Wheeeeee!

Here's some bread
















and circuses.

















Oh, I've got to stop disconnecting from flesh world. I didn't even hear until today about the ingenious distraction of the Islamofascist black ops assassination of that baby killer under direct orders from Hussein X who's currently in Saudi Arabia delivering even more funding so they can train even more sociopaths. Told you we'd end up fighting them over here.

Anyone else go under? Besides the drunks, that is, and they can always bail themselves out with another glass.

Blah

blah

blah.

33 comments:

no_slappz said...

How many late-term abortions did Tiller perform?

There may have been acceptable reasons for killing some of these near-infants. Maybe some were afflicted with profoundly serious conditions. Some, but not all.

How about Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad, the muslim shooter who killed Army Private William Long and seriously wounded Private Quinton Ezeagwula? Is he a terrorist?

Ubermilf said...

Now look what you did, Randal!

You unleashed horror upon the world.

Randal Graves said...

I'm not sorry. Muahahahaha, etc.

Dean Wormer said...

That clown makes the clown from "IT" look like Ronald McDonald. Seriously disturbing.

Dean Wormer said...

How many late-term abortions did Tiller perform?

Not nearly enough.

dguzman said...

The funny thing is that Slappy left the exact same comment on my blog -- twice! I deleted both times. What a maroon.

That bread is frightening. Have you been getting into my fridge again?

Ubermilf said...

I can't tell if Dean Wormer (comment 1) is talking about the picture or Slappz.

Commander Zaius said...

Remove the clown makeup and that's Cheney.

Your first picture on this post reminded me that I've been in some sort of mood recently for a good zombie flick. I wish they would hurry up and make the movie version "World War Z".

Nunly said...

Oh crap...you opened the abyss of blogger trolls and slappz got out. I hope you're happy now, Randal.

Dean Wormer, I'm sure that was aimed at Slappz and may I commend you for the funniest comment I've seen for a long time. :-)

Oh, btw, I gave you an award, but the problem is, the icon for the award is kinda (a lot) frilly and pink and I hate frilly and pink and it would look stupid on your blog (and on mine). So, change the icon if you wish...the evil clown would be nice.

no_slappz said...

wormer,

I asked:

"How many late-term abortions did Tiller perform?"

You responded:

"Not nearly enough."

It's been reported Tiller aborted 60,000 fetal lives. If 60,000 is too few, what number would you prefer?

Tom Harper said...

That's not a slice of bread in that second picture. That's a picture of your brain on drugs. Any questions?

La Belette Rouge said...

Is the moldy bread troll bate or, maybe, is it the body of Jeebzus has turned green because he is sick and sad because you said you do the drugz?

Non Je Ne Regrette Rien said...

I don't know what makes me want to puke more ... the slice of moldy bread or the reference to 'fetal lives' above.

Utah Savage said...

See what you did you sick fuck? You unleashed some fucking troll upon the land. And I'm willing to bet the farm that bastards packin heat. Duck Randal! Run, run. Slappy's after you. Pretty soon we'll all be deleting slappy like we do BBC. Oh the horror you've unleashed upon the land.

Utah Savage said...

Oh, The Ubermilf beat me to this whole rant and did it in a sentence or two. Oh well, it felt good, anyway

Laura said...

I thought that Beach Bum wrote he was in the mood for a good Zombie fuck.. (I have a stye in my right eye ..) I had to look it over 3 or 4 times before I realized it really said "zombie flick". Then I was like.."Oooooooooooooo... flick"
Too bad. I was intrigued. :)
Is that a picture of the Virgin Mary on that bread?
I'm not sure which is scarier. The bread or the clown. (what the heck is on the end of his nose??)
I think I need a braining machine too.
Sigh ....
(((Hugs)))
Laura

Randal Graves said...

dean, he's either drunk, deranged, doing something illegal in public view or all three.

You are the undisputed master of the ZING®!

dguzman, if I had any rapping skills, I would consider taking NWA's Dopeman into Strawman.

Sadly, I wasn't able to find Jesus. How about you?

übermilf, why do you hate trolls? Where's your empathy?

BB, I just hope it's good. Few things are worse than having high hopes for a flick, only to be dashed on the rocks of disappointment. Okay, Cheney in clown makeup is pretty bad.

nunly, nothin' wrong with spreading the message of evil now and then. Just because you hate frilly and pink, I'm not changing a thing!

tom, should I stop eating moldy bread, is that what you're saying?

LBR, you ever see Zombie Jesus? Not a pretty sight.

JNRR, everyone loves the moldy bread which makes me gleeful like, oh, I don't know, a domestic terrorist after committed a vile crime!

utah, please, rant away, even if it's similar to previous rants. Not like I don't pilfer poets better than I.

sunshine, I would never have pegged you as a necrophiliac. Good thing BB didn't say 'bread flick,' because then there'd be some weirdo bakery sex thing going on.

Life As I Know It Now said...

One thing common to all right wing trolls and wingnuts--they firmly believe that the end justifies the means.

no_slappz said...

liberality -- an ironic screen-name given your attitude -- you wrote:

"One thing common to all right wing trolls and wingnuts--they firmly believe that the end justifies the means."

I gather you were thinking about muslims when you wrote your preceding statement.

Dean Wormer said...

Lulz!

Dean Wormer said...

Nunly-

Where can I find the frilly award? I'm beside myself because it sounds like the PERFECT thing for me.

Laura said...

Oh Randal. You know so little about me. :)
Hehehehe....

Laura said...

So don't read all of my blog. Because then you will know everything about me!

Anonymous said...

Okay Slappz... first two wrongs don't make a right. The crime Scott Roeder and Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad committed was murder. You can call Dr. Tiller a baby killer all you want, but let's be very Republican here for a moment, shall we? Abortion (early and late term) is legal. Killing someone for performing a legal act, be it performing abortions or recruiting men and women into military service is not.

Please, if you're going to comment on current events, please stop using the tired and old Fox News tactic of parsing them to fit your point of view or agenda. Yes, I know that the "liberal" media has branded Roeder a terrorist, but there's plenty of evidence that he was engaged in terrorizing people at abortion clinics. If you can evidence that Muhammad was also engaged in this activity prior to committing his crime, then I will agree that he is one, too. He cannot and should not be labeled a terrorist simply because he's Muslim...

Please stop being such a frightened little shit and get over having your ass kicked by a bunch of black guys. They're not all bad.

no_slappz said...

spartacus, you wrote:

"If you can evidence that Muhammad was also engaged in this activity prior to committing his crime, then I will agree that he is one, too. He cannot and should not be labeled a terrorist simply because he's Muslim..."

Based on your analysis, the 19 hijackers who gave us 9/11 were not terrorists either.

Your blindness about Islam is right up there with the widespread blindness toward the Catholic Church.

The Church is anti-gay, but the current Pope is clearly gay and he has a "boyfriend" who travels with him -- Google "gorgeous georg" (no "e") for more.

The priesthood attracts an unusually high percentage of pedophiles -- and the Church has protected them, seemingly forever. I wonder why?

Islam attracts extremists, and their deadly activities are in the news almost daily. However, there is no Vatican of Islam to shield Islamic extremists. Instead, extremists enjoy widespread acceptance by most muslims. Why?

Christianity -- in general -- might appeal to a lot of politically active people. But Roeder is one of the rare examples of believers willing to commit murder in the name of his belief.

He will probably face charges of premeditated murder -- of which he is clearly guilty -- and then, assuming Kansas is a state that believes in capital punishment, he will be executed.

Meanwhile, you wrote:

"Abortion (early and late term) is legal."

Wrong. Late term abortions are illegal almost everywhere. That's why Tiller was such a busy guy. He operated in one of the few places where it was legal.

The fact that a late-term abortion is as controversial as it is, should alert you to something.

The wholly contrived but accepted argument about abortion boils down giving legal sanction to killing a fetus lacking the development to exist outside the womb under any circumstances.

But late-term abortions involve fetuses that can survive in incubators. Thus, the legal territory is murky at best.

Again, Roe v Wade sidestepped the issue of abortion per se, by stating that a fetus is not a human and therefore is not protected by the Constitution.

Hence, destroying the fetus is permitted.

That argument is the same as the slavery argument. Blacks were declared to be 3/5 of a person.

And the Supreme Court, in the 1857 Dred Scott decision, affirmed that being 3/5 of a person was not enough to enjoy the Constitutional rights of a whole person.

How did the Founding Fathers and the Supreme Court conclude that blacks were 3/5 human and thus not protected by the Constitution?

Is there any meangingful difference between that example of blindness and the issue of when a fetus is a human?


You wrote:

"Please stop being such a frightened little shit and get over having your ass kicked by a bunch of black guys. They're not all bad."

Spartacus, I'm the guy who lives in Brooklyn next to a Pakistani community where women wear burkas and men look like bin Laden. And my sons go to public school with kids from everywhere on the planet. I'm also the guy who has lost some friends to murder, as well as having lost my old office, friends and acquaintances on 9/11.

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, alright, your place better be filled with lots of dirt!

spartacus, did you have fun talking to a brick wall? ;-)

Anonymous said...

Yeah Randal, I did have fun speaking to that douchebag... but I need to talk to the prick... umm.. I mean brick wall some more.

no-slappz.... you wrote:

Spartacus, I'm the guy who lives in Brooklyn next to a Pakistani community where women wear burkas and men look like bin Laden. And my sons go to public school with kids from everywhere on the planet. I'm also the guy who has lost some friends to murder, as well as having lost my old office, friends and acquaintances on 9/11."

Big fucking deal. Like Pakistanis wearing burkas or beards are all extremists, or for that matter, an imminent threat to the children in NYC. Have you or your family been personally threatened by a Pakistani or muslim neighbor? Your fear of them does not make them a thread. It just makes you a chicken shit. Moreover, Muslims do not give widespread support to terrorists, much like Jews do not give widespread support to increasing the number of exclusive Israeli settlements on the West Bank. Why can't the land be shared?

As for Scott Roeder and Abdulhakim Mujahid Muhammad, they are twisted individuals who were incited to act by the heads of terrorist organizations. Make no mistake about this, Randal Terry and Osama Bin Laden are terrorists. Those two represent Christianity and Islam about as well as I do as an atheist. In my mind, the only difference between Terry and Bin Laden is the number of innocent people they've had killed. But as you and I would agree, one murder at the hands of terrorists is one too many.

I am sorry for the loss of your friends on 9/11. I lost several friends, too, some of whom were firemen. And like you, I hold the 19 terrorists directly responsible for their deaths, However, I also hold the Bush Administration criminally negligent for ignoring actionable intelligence prior to the attack, and I hold Rudolph Giuliani personally and criminally culpable for the deaths of the 343 firefighters for making the deal to purchase radios from Motorola that were known to be faulty.

Okay Randal, I'm done talking to the prick/brick wall.

no_slappz said...

spatacus, you wrote:

"Like Pakistanis wearing burkas or beards are all extremists..."

I see. In other words American males riding Harleys and wearing leather vests with Hell's Angels patches on the back suffer unfairly from bad press and are really just like everyone else.

You wrote:

"...Have you or your family been personally threatened by a Pakistani or muslim neighbor?"

Was anyone in NY City personally threatened by muslims before 9/11? Actually yes. In fact, there were terrorist killings of NY City residents by muslims before 9/11.

But that's not the point. In your view, it's only street crime that counts. Muslims in Brooklyn, and elsewhere, are relatively law-abiding in that respect.

The point is this -- the extemist leanings of muslims in Brooklyn are definitely expressed by their clothing. Others may also have extremist views, but their clothing says little.

You wrote:

"Your fear of them does not make them a thread. It just makes you a chicken shit."

Fear? That's all in your head. Like I said, there's very little street crime in the muslim area near me.

You wrote:

"Moreover, Muslims do not give widespread support to terrorists..."

Whether you want to acknowledge the facts or not, support for terrorists and their organizations is widespread in the muslim community here and everywhere. When the FBI "follows the money", they find a lot of it going from muslim communities in the US to terrorist groups in the middle east. There are collection boxes in every muslim store in the muslim neighborhood by which I live.

You wrote:
"...much like Jews do not give widespread support to increasing the number of exclusive Israeli settlements on the West Bank."

Wow. You've taken moral equivalence to new heights. Building homes and strengthening local economies is now on a plane with funding terrorism. You should change your name to Yassar Arafat.

You asked:

"Why can't the land be shared?"

The first proposal for a two-state solution was made in 1947. It was supported by Jews and rejected by the arabs who have refused every offer since then -- and this option has ALWAYS been available.

The situation is a show of muslim logic -- no compromise. As all Palestinian leaders have said, they want a one-state solution -- which they define as the destruction of Israel and the removal of all Jews from the middle east.

If you are acquainted with any muslims, ask their opinions on this issue. Eventually you will hear how it would be better for everyone if the Jews just left the region.

YOu wrote:

"Make no mistake about this, Randal Terry and Osama Bin Laden are terrorists."

Terry may be an objectionable character, but it's an insult to the dead victims of muslim terrorism to equate Terry and bin Laden. Terry may have caused some anguish, anger and discomfort among those he has verbally abused. But killing? No.

However, if he can be charged as an accessory to murder in Tiller's case, that's okay with me.

I always felt Al Sharpton should have been charged as an accessory to murder when he stood outside Freddy's Fashion Mart on 125th Street with a bullhorn leading a chant to "Drive the Jew out of Harlem."

After a day chanting and ranting, one of Sharpton's followers ran into the store with a can of gasoline and his pistol. He shot 6 or 7 black and hispanic store personnel to death, then started a fire. But Al skated away, free as a bird.

no_slappz said...

spartacus, you wrote:

"Those two represent Christianity and Islam about as well as I do as an atheist."

It is the Christian practice to make people feel guilty about certain behaviors. It is the muslim practice to kill people. Terrosits bombings, honor killings, the muslim death toll is staggering. Death in the name of Christ? One or two, here and there.

You wrote:

"In my mind, the only difference between Terry and Bin Laden is the number of innocent people they've had killed."

I see. That raises a couple of points. Since Terry opposes abortion, which kills about 1.5 million fetuses a year, it's tough to claim he's the mass murderer. It seems Terry may be partially responsible for ONE death.

Bin Laden? Well, he backs the plan to make us all muslims or kill us. As usual, no compromise. Frankly, he's not much of a threat these days, thanks to the massive assault on muslim terrorism launched by Bush.

You wrote:

"I also hold the Bush Administration criminally negligent for ignoring actionable intelligence prior to the attack..."

Oh. So you are becoming the newest member of the 9/11 Truthers who claim the attack was a conspiracy and the Bush administration "Let It Happen", according to one of their theories.

You wrote:

"...and I hold Rudolph Giuliani personally and criminally culpable for the deaths of the 343 firefighters for making the deal to purchase radios from Motorola that were known to be faulty."

I see. In other words, if the Fire Department had had different radios, the attack would NOT have happened.

OR maybe you meant that the mayor of NY City should personally evaluate every piece of equipment used by the Fire Department, the Police Department, the Sanitation Department and the city hospitals.

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