Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Moldy? Old? I'm gonna get something to eat!

Since the previous post's slice of moldy bread proved to be such a big hit, surreptitiously speaking volumes about how this site is viewed and don't think I didn't notice you bastards, yet, frankly, I cannot lay more than three iotas of blame at your marching, charging feet for I too feel simultaneously stale and rotten on a daily basis, I shunned slaughtering the unborn in the name of Satan my afternoon work and glared for hours at said slice, looking for a subtle, yet tangible image of the divine. Sadly, I found neither Velvet Elvis nor Jesus With Full Beard Accessory, but I was able to discern a couple of more mundane entities. I ask forgiveness in advance for my meager artistic talents.

Dracula on the prowl for his next lady companion.

Sammy the Bull on the ground from his last snitch.

Wait, what's this? Great Old One! Forgive my ignorance!

While I'm off suffering a fate far worse than the most heinous crime yet concocted by a fellow member of our pathetic species deserving of nothing but cosmic indifference, see what you can, well, see, and inform posterity of your horrid discovery before it's too late!


Utah Savage said...

Well, you're just asking for it aren't you? I'm betting someone with an ounce of faith or creativity would have found both Jeebus and Joseph's baby momma in that slice of moldy bread.

Utah Savage said...

And they would have made a tidy profit on it on ebay like all good capitalists do with religious iconography. You have no respect for the Murkin way of life, do you?

Nunly said...

I see nothing holy in that first picture of moldy bread. It has an uncanny resemblance to Patricia Mell Blagojevich, Helmet-head's wife.

Übermilf said...

Is this like a Rorshach (sp?) test? Because I see Ziggy.

sunshine said...

Oh you know I'm rockin Sammy The Bull.
I never realized he was so small. I guess that's where the slur "little wop" comes from. Hmmmmm....
And just because you asked .. I'm not going to tell you anything about "Balls Out". I challenge you to watch it yourself big boy. :)

Nunly, are you watching "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here"? Helmet heads wife is on there.. that's why I ask.
and yes... God forgive me, I'm watching it.

So anyhow... I'm outta here!
Ciao for Niao!

Distributorcap said...

are you manufacturing your own penicillin

Beach Bum said...

Dammit man, you are just looking in the wrong place. You know good well that Jesus made an appearance recently as a Cheeto. Now buy a bag and go seek divine guidance for your sinful ways.

Personally as a Southern I believe when Jesus appears as a fried pork rind the Rapture will happen any day.

Lisa said...

Thank you for leaving out the circus on this one.

Anonymous said...

Ya know, Randal... slop a little butter on that bread and you'll have a tasty breakfast treat to go with your coffee.

La Belette Rouge said...

Have you considered a highly lucrative career as a conceptual artist? Really, no one is working in the medium of mold and carbs. The field is wide open for you.

Randal Graves said...

utah, I wait with joyously joyful anticipation for the appearance of the Jesus On Toast crowd. C'mon, weirdos, help your ole pal Randal earn a few clams.

nunly, she's a vampire? Wow, that's some powerful sunscreen!

übermilf, Ziggy is a distinct possibility.

sunshine, since you're so adamant that I watch it, I'm not so sure I should. I'd wager you're far more devious than you let on.

dcap, never know when the next plague will sweep the land.

BB, aren't pork rinds too small to carry the image of a face? Wouldn't a Dorito be a better place to make an appearance?

lisa, now I wish I hadn't.

spartacus, damn right. There's my homemade penicillin. I'm sure butter is the key.

LBR, that is an ingenious idea! Slap a coat of preserving lacquer on, frame them, instant art.

Freida Bee, MD said...

When I worked at a restaurant in the days of lore, I once laminated a piece of petrified toast we found back behind the grill and sent it as a toastcard.

That being said, when did you start going all high tech with them mad photoshoppy skillz?

Dr. Zaius said...

This is awesome! I wonder if you could use them to tell fortunes...