Tuesday, January 25, 2011

How To Win Writer's Block and Influence People















I took a dip in the Dead Pool & all I got was this lousy hypothermia.




I darkthroned in the woods behind my house & listened to the trees growl back.


Alas, alas, all that's left is square one, paper & pen.


No, Tayfun, I'm not writing about this evening's infomercial.

19 comments:

Freida Bee said...

Please, please write that old lubricant story again!

Übermilf said...

At least you've still got your good looks to fall back on.

Liberality said...

ice cream lady is back and snarky as ever I see--good, someone has to give you a hard time and keep you on your toes! ;)

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Muddafuggg...

"I'm not swimming in that pool of water unless you heat it to at least 80 degrees."

Redditch's Roman Baths were popular with the town's vampires.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

You really need to let that stock simmer if you want to become the saucier at Famous Ray's.

Regards,

Tengrain

La Belette Rouge said...

We are swimming in a pool of death all the time,and really there is no greater inspiration for writing. Is there?

Laura said...

I always said that dead people were such slackers! They may as well pull their weight by heating pools and such.
I clicked on the song but had to click off-it scared me! I can't listen to scary music when I'm home alone...

((Hugs))
Laura

MRMacrum said...

Lubricants are overrated. Especially when all one knows is how to write friction.

Randal Graves said...

FB, oKaY. Snicker.

übermilf, quite true.

liberality, when you're this good looking, you don't need to be kept on your toes.

charles, soylent green is chlorine!

tengrain, they should include 'furnace donor' on drivers' licenses.

LBR, are you suggesting I write Chicken Soup for the Corpse?

laura, scary? That's a traditional Norwegian lullaby.

mrmacrum, lubricating lucubrations. Say that 37 times fast.

Demeur said...

We could always use incinerated 99ers to heat the hot tubs of the rich and famous. Oops there I go again revealing their plan.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I was writing a lengthy diatribe in response to a Daily Beast story posted by Yahoo last night.

Of course, Yahoo periodically updates their website in order to spam their sheep with more ads.

For 50 points, what did I learn?
~

Beach Bum said...

...to use a crematorium to heat a swimming pool.

Finally a way for serial offending buzz kills and prudes to be the life of the party.

Tom Harper said...

Nice picture at the top. That's the pool where they have that Libertarian lifeguard. You know, the one who's always saying "hey, if you choose to drown, I won't interfere with your freedom."

susan said...

Maybe they've found a renewable resource that can power the world. Gives the term fossil fuels a whole new meaning.

Chef Cthulhu said...

Let me use that crematorium to heat a large smoke room and I'll keep Redditch in ribs and pulled pork as long as the bodies keep rolling in.

WAY more palatable than the whole Sweeney Todd thing...

S.W. Anderson said...

If there's one thing that gets off with me, it's people fortunate enough to have a pool who don't keep the damned thing up. I mean, how long does it take to skim out a few leaves and remove a body?

Randal Graves said...

demeur, easily rectified. Simply steal the corpses & have them heat low-income housing.

if, you're eligible for 40k to pay for college so you can go back to work?

BB, gets cold on the moors, gotta do something besides ale to keep 'em warm.

tom, you forgot to add that he's probably smoking a doobie.

susan, hey, folks croak, better to heat than to rot sloshing in a gallon of chemicals, all stuffed in an overpriced box.

chef, dammit you bastard, now I'm hungry.

SWA, exactly. And now that we've finally found a use for corpses, no need to pull a Jimmy Hoffa and hide them beneath the local gridiron.

Susan Tiner said...

It's not a bad way to go, drowning in a pool. Especially if it's a short drive to the crematorium.

Randal Graves said...

Bwah!