Friday, March 18, 2011

Hole in the sky cosmic ceiling of consciousness & my wallet but not my heart well maybe just a little one

Man, it's hot.

Sweet merciful crap yesterday was unseasonably sweaty, Right Guard aplenty, that rhymes & you know that rhymes don't hang me for my crimes such as this café sunburn darkthroning in the woods with his chicken dinner a mere seventh of a fortnight earlier.

Man, it's not.


*Oh My Cthulhu

I did have a lovely dream last night as lovely goes for moi parce qu'I never dream about naked chicken dinners it's not fair, though, after coolly sloughing off the shock of sting from a giant psychedelic wasp, I watched Cryuff's miracle flight pock noted thespian Stan Stamenkovic into the great beyond blood & bone splattered across the continental drift, man, I loathed loathed that diving bastard. Kai Haaskivi motherfucker.

Cleveland has now decided, after years & years of low-key thee green boozeroony, to party for their right to fight.


Dear Moneyed Jerks of America,

For the low low cost of one-half of a quarter of a bomb (this is going to go well -- for the usual suspects, that is, chortle), you too can buy one gently-used Baltimore Poe House & Museum. You'll be the envy of all your friends at the next passive-aggressive charity gala. Don't make Li'l Edgar cry.

Ever your slacker,

Employee 78911265-B-27Q


Laura said...

I wish that someone would "eat" all of our snow. For it is dirty and disgusting stuff that's left. :(
The highest that the temperature has reached here so far is a mere +6.

I love li'l Edgar. He's soooo cute!


(see, I read *some* of this post)

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Police arrest 35 following St. Patrick's Day Parade in Cleveland

So that's why they call them hoodlums! (See accompanying photo.)

P.S. Is it true that Cleveland rocks hurt more than other rocks?

thatgirl said...

Why use rocks when there's plenty of broken concrete and bricks in those moon crater potholes?

Randal Graves said...

laura, but that's what makes Canadastan so beloved by the rest of the world. It's not just Canadian bacon and Tim Horton's.

if, of course, rocks loaded with rust, get your tetanus shot.

thatgirl, I think some of those bricks were kicked up by a wheelie bus. Even those behemoths are closed to being torn apart.

Anonymous said...

I'm dispatching Harry Tuttle.

Liberality said...

I hope you have a fabulous day with a side of Poe/Lovecraftian weirdness on the side.

your favorite public librarian,


Randal Graves said...

charles, expect a call from the Ministry in the next minute.

liberality, you assume that you're my favorite? The one down at CPL gives me free stuff for my stash!

Tom Harper said...

Finally, the Greatest Country In The World is going into Libya. We need regime change. It'll be a cakewalk, and American troops will be greeted as liberators and showered with cake and ice cream by grateful Libyans.

Beach Bum said...

Come on Randal, Obama hasn't started his own war yet. A little napalm here and there, a few cluster bombs, a cruise missile or two and Western oil companies will be good to go to take over things.

Of course from what I've heard most Libyan oil goes to China but I'm sure the People's Republic will be most grateful for our actions.

okjimm said...


ok, I didn't mean to... really I didn't ... but see The Bruiser had some of this really really kick ass BC Bud that just got flown in from Vancouver, see, and shit &stuff... after five pints and ten tokes of that stuff.... I reallly really got cotton mouth... and on top of eating all those oreos... and I was totally tottally out of orange juice and the milk had gone bad, yousee, and man, they totally cut us off from the bar, wouldna even given me a water to go, anyways.... I be busted... it was me,,,,,, I atez alla snow. Doan be pissed, ok? I promise, reallyz I do,,,,, it woan happen no mores

S.W. Anderson said...

Sixty degrees elicits pangs of envy here, Randal. If you've got it, flaunt it, I guess.

Green beer flowing freely, warmer weather and rowdy punks getting into brawls. Who could've imagined?

Tom, what's another cakewalk when you're all practiced up?

(My blog URL is now )

Demeur said...

Who needs tsunamis when you have cthulhu living right there in the lake stealing everybody's snow. Just where was he earlier this fine winter season when the need was greatest?

Isn't Ossie dead yet? He died but nobody told him yet.

Label this as the side effects of beating the shit out of ones' body on a daily basis. Oh well it's a living I guess.

Randal Graves said...

tom, American intervention? What could possibly go wrong?

BB, always best practice to never piss off the boss.

okjimm, all that "milk" and "cheese" and "beef" you guys have up yonder are merely codewords for illegal substances.

SWA, ahh, back to a seasonal 40 or so today. Sure, there's always a scuffle or three, but this was way beyond the norm. Almost as if the unwashed masses are extra restless these days. We need to privatize St. Patrick's Day.

demeur, the stars weren't right, that's very important, dammit.

Maybe we should import an Ogopogo from Canada.