Thursday, March 3, 2011

Your democratism has no limits!*

"Would you like a filbert, Melissa Gilbert?"
Kendra Wilkinson's (who?) asked, too, can't answer;
Horton hears a duuude, must be the bong, that hit's long
but you'd hit long if hit by a hitless Kim Kardashian song --
Radioactive Sino-French lizards & King Kong
don't dig theatrics, gets in the way of the gong --
CIA Chuck shouts "where's the blow?" (Charlie knows)
ow! don't hit so hard, dance is the word, dontcha know
Sugar Ray, "peace with hookers n' said blow"
says the Sheen 2012 Fucked Up Actors Need Sequels show.
Ford & interest rates, fiduciary swag, yawn --
Mikhail, didn't you out! damn spot! on a glasnost gig?
Pizza 'twas, all this, 'tis all garbage so take a swig,
me, mighty busy supervillaining zombie ants
to rescue from non-Randalness Christina Hendricks.
Noted Cleveland footie: someday, some of these tricks
'll be a juvie special. Learn from the master, puppets.

*title lifted from an English Pravda best-of the Pooty-Poot suckups. I simply wanted to share the too-few bounties of democratism with those poor post-mail check Yahoo trendies whose voice is never heard in our oversaturated monoculture & when do I ever have anything to add of substance on worldly fuckery that once the various The Mans find alternate means of being mean, mean everything drops, the cycle of shit, catch the fever. You're welcome & Cthulhu bless.

P.S. I know this is probably, despite the hefty competition, my lamest post ever. Je suis désolé (not really)


Laura said...

Yahoo my butt. Seems to me *someone* has been watching Entertainment Tonight again.... (said in a sing-songy voice).


Randal Graves said...

Oh don't be ridiculous, Gorbachev only appears on the Moscow ET.

La Belette Rouge said...

I love it when you take requests. Merci! It is like you used all the scrabble tiles to make one big gazillion point word. I am impressed. And I would definitely disagree, not your lamest post ever.
I sort of imagine with the puppet show ending up with French Lizards and King Kong eating Kim, Melissa and Christina as a post puppet show snack.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Gack! The deal on the JuviJustCtr reminds me of our "aquatic center", built out of concrete... and then externally acid-etched to provide bas-relief "artistic" silhouettes, hugely expensive, and not a bit of improvement to the facility. A guy I know who works for the county defended it to me, but his defense fell on distinctly tinnitus-deafened ears. All I heard was, "we must be fancy, we are now a fancy town, and you don't belong here any more because you don't want fancy." Normally I'd pull a swig of Ipecac but it was unneccessary this time, the bile was creeping upward without help. Even Hooterville needs maglev railways!

Randal Graves said...

LBR, no no no, Christina is coming over to my house for a poetry reading 'cause that's what the ladies like, yes? Yes. French Godzilla can eat the rest.

charles, are you saying superficial pretty *doesn't* solve all problems? Fine, watch piscean gangbangers ravage your town!

The judges' workout room conjures up images of the cracker bench jockey in Futurama. All that discipline & punishing, need to blow of some steam, ya know?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Randal doesn't need to solve any problems.

We're getting all the problems solved down the road here in Columbus!

Liberality said...

Cthulhu bless you too my son ;~D

Tom Harper said...

A $23,000 conference table -- definitely a must for our assembly-line juvenile prison system.

Master of Puppets is 25 years old??? You're not still listening to that same old dinosaur shit, are you?

S.W. Anderson said...

It would be fun to see you do a straight, "This is wrong, and I'm rightfully outraged" post on something like that juvenile detention center. Especially since you lacked the devious foresight to be in the institutional furnishings business when the dirty dealing was going down.

However, there's always a certain delight in being confronted with things like "Radioactive Sino-French lizards & King Kong
don't dig theatrics." I mean, if you ever want to go into cryptography, I have a hunch you could land a very lucrative contract with the CIA. They have supercomputers that couldn't come up with stuff like that. //it takes randomness to a whole new level. :)

susan said...

Did they really build a theater so the young reprobates could watch Punch & Judy shows while waiting for their trials? Now that's what I call swanky.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Why didn't you tell me it was the high holy days of Cthulhu?



Beach Bum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Beach Bum said...

Sheen 2012 Fucked Up Actors Need Sequels show

Don't go yanking Charlie's chain now, he's a powerful warlock with tiger's blood running through his veins while living with two goddesses. That's serious mojo.

Randal Graves said...

if, so I've got even more free time? Merci, Panhandles!

liberality, Cthulhu brooks no patronizing, hippie!

tom, some dinosaurs still stomp the bones, sonny boy.

I've always wanted to own a table that costs nearly as much as a new hire.

SWA, and disappoint my readers by abandoning the traditional "the world sucks here's some metal" style? I guess I just care more than you do.

The CIA? Do I have to wear a tie while I spy?

susan, I'm sure they get the finest in industrial & prison films.

tengrain, common knowledge to all reverent acolytes. Azathoth's gonna fuck you up something biblical, Californistan.

BB, true, plus he's Winning™!