Friday, March 25, 2011

Roll d6 for damage

"Wanna see something really scary?"



1. So any of you angsty rural cracker meth heads cooking up names for venting the non-sequential, four-suit hand you've nelsonmuntzly been dealt via the time-honored & fiscally-lucrative grindcore tradition, remember where you first saw Tranny Fisticuffs.

I'm looking at you, Proto-Bros. (Hey, that's a good one, too.)

2. This is what tags & tracks us peonage:

If The Man's local HR rampaging technobot minions had the biggest Bon Scotts of them all, this is what should tag & track us peonage:

Harder to slack from a sack of Olympian stomach acid, n'est-ce pas?

3. Storm of the Yeti!

4. Look man complete stranger patron client customer client, when the staff is Juan Valdezing over bunga bunga, Son of Qa/Kha/Gha-daf(f)i artwork & Cleveland hitman (woman, in this case) folklore, how about you might as well not jump in with tales of there being neither hitmen nor La Cosa Nostra only FBI operatives. As the Peonage has long been aware of the likes of Beatrix the Bilderberger & her Masonic Illuminati operatives, you're redundantly simply being redundant. 



5. Reader's choice! Throw those child's bones! Everyone's a wiener!*

6. One day till catharsis woo! 

*hey, I gave your ass an out before more metal. Taisez-vous, connard.


Jack Crow said...

No outs before metal. Metal it first.

Room Mom Helper said...

No, YOU shut up, jerk.

Je parle francais aussi.

Anonymous said...

Jennifer L's dad to me & J. Elmo -- "Metal is for louts! Get out of here you louts!"

Me to J. Elmo, as we are leaving the L household -- "What's a lout? Is that a good thing or bad thing?"

J. Elmo to me -- "I don't know, but he sounded pissed."

Speaking of the mob and its hit-creatures, do you know The Don?

okjimm said...

T.i.i.i.i.immmmmme is on my side... yes it is....

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...


That's the adverb I've been looking for!

Randal Graves said...

jack, which is why my outs are never explicit. They're forced to listen to 9+ minutes of riffage, plus I legally cover my ass.

übermilf's 99 cent disguise, vous êtes une folle.

charles, when a lout has gout and screams, that's metal.

People tell me he can play the guitar, I should check that jazz out.

okjimm, spin some Sabbath, you hippie.

if, the root, nelsonmuntz, is nearly as versatile as 'fuck.'

susan said...

I'd seriously consider joining the Yeti search except for knowing it's even colder in Siberia than here. Maybe I'll just wait a few years for it to warm up.

thatgirl said...

I wonder what the Damned think of us sometimes, I really do. Because half of the Juan Valdezing probably sounds insane to the uninitiated.

Tom Harper said...

Merry Catharsis Eve.

Room Mom Helper said...

Je sais que vous êtes, mais ce que je suis

S.W. Anderson said...

After reading, reviewing and carefully considering the content of this post, I worried you might be driving under the influence of whatever. I hope you're still using the wheelie bus.

Beach Bum said...

Yeti institute planned for Siberia

Cool! The Southern Institute for the Research in the Connection Between UFO's and Trailer Parks can team up and work together.

okjimm said...

ok, I'll match your three pistachios,raise you two walnuts, and half a bag of Mr. Peanut dry roasted almonds..... oops, wrong blog, never mind.

Hey, while I'm here though, you gonna finish that pizza or can I take it with me?

Demeur said...

I don't know about the rest of this paranoid's dream but what's with the Googlie shit thinking I'm not a real person? It's not like I was looking up images of major league fisting or anything .
And I thought Metal was now only used in extreme cases of torture by our boys in uniform.