Thursday, February 14, 2008

John McCain is so old...

Tough call, huh.

"John McCain is so old, he actually remembers 'blank.'"
[just pretend that you're hearing The Match Game theme]
"Mary from Encino?"
"Um, the dark ages of the universe?"

"Okay, Mary, let's see what our panelists say. Brett Somers?"

"The Roman Empire."

"Richard Dawson?"


"Charles Nelson Reilly?"

"The dark ages of the universe."

Yeah, The Maverick® is indeed a bit medieval, but that's a pretty cool find.

Go astronomers!


pissed off patricia said...

He's not only older than dirt, he invented dirt.

McCain is so old he was the grounds keeper in the garden of eden.

I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your bartenders. Thank you ladies and germs. I'm killin' me.

La Belette Rouge said...

I love it when you talk "Match Game." John McCain is so old that he is older than Old Mr. Perriwinkle( if you watched Match Game, you should know who that is). John McCain is so old that his social security number is 1!
He is so old that when God said let the be light, John hit the switch. He is so old that his birth certificate is in Roman numerals. I got a million of them.
Wish I could time travel and be a contestant on match Game--I am always able to match Brett and Charles' answers. One of my few talents.

La Belette Rouge said...

p.s. Happy Valentine's Day!

pissed off patricia said...

la belette rouge, will be here all week as well. She too asks that you be good to your waitress.

Colleen said...

I can just see a fabulous trend in jokes

"McCain is sooooo old when he ...."

Randal Graves said...

POP and LBR, that's it. From now on I'm only putting up goofy pictures and references to 70s game shows and let you guys do all the work.

LBR, thanks, you too!

POP, should I enjoy the veal?

colleen, oh I truly hope so. Didn't we learn what happens when we elect old, Republican white dudes? It never turns out well.

La Belette Rouge said...

Randal: Brilliant!! The three of us can have a group blog. You pick the 70's game show pictures and POP and I will dole out the bad jokes. This will be big!!! ;-)

Randal Graves said...

If big now means a grand total of three readers, than yes, you are indeed correct. Well no, we might get a fourth at some point. ;-)

Mary Ellen said...

Man, and I thought I was older than dirt. That guy makes me feel like a newborn babe.

Hi, Randal! Happy Valentines Day! ;-)

My Inner French Girl said...

Yes, but have you seen his wife? Whatever he's got, the man's got it goin' on.


Swinebread said...

He campaigning against hope, what a twit

Dean Wormer said...

...thinks cave-drawings were the height of interior decorating.

I go nuttin.

TomCat said...

"The Big Bang" (And even then, he was too ugly to get banged.) ;-)

Happy Valentines Day!

Randal Graves said...

ME, see, you're not that old. He remembers the Protozoic! Right back at ya! ;-)

Marjorie, yeah, it's called power. ;-)

swinebread, well sure, wouldn't you when you have more wars and less jobs to offer?

dean, I'm just a caveman candidate, your politics frightens me.

tomcat, that was a horrid image, please apologize. ;-)

Frederick said...

Now your making me feel like a youngster.

PoliShifter said...

McCain is so old he makes Prehistoric Fossils appear young.

Oh wait, I dont think McCain believes in evolution anymore so any dinosaur fossils are only 4000 years old...much much younger than McCain.

McCain is so old he still thinks the United States is just an extension of the British Empire and as such thinks the U.S. should be colonizing weaker countries like Iraq and Iran.

PoliShifter said...

McCain is so old that he makes Ron Paul look only middle aged (and Ron Paul is actually older than him!)

DCup said...

My 100 year old grandma calls McCain that old man....

Dr. Zaius said...

He's so old he farts dust!
He still owes Moses a dollar!
his memory is in black & white!
He drove a chariot to high school!
He left his false teeth on Noah's Ark!
He took his drivers test on a dinosaur!
He waterboarded the Boston Tea Party!
I've seen stale raisins with less wrinkles!
Vultures constantly circle his senate seat!
He's so old his social security number is 1!
He gave a tax cut to Fred Flintstone's boss!
He's so old he's got Adam and Eve's autograph!
He's so old he sat behind Jesus in the third grade!
the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to his gym locker!
He's so old he was co-author of the Dead Sea scrolls!
He's so old his birth certificate is in Roman numerals!
He's so old archaeologists found cave drawings of him!
He's so old he has a picture of Moses in his yearbook!
He remembers when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch!
If he was a car, it would be time to roll back his odometer!
He's so old he knew Burger King when he was still a prince!
He needed orthopedic shoes when Jesus was still in diapers!
When he gave his first speech, they timed him with a sundial!
When he watched Jurassic Park, it was like family reunion to him!
He's so old, It looks like the Wrinkle Fairy tap-danced on his face!
He's so old that when he was in school there was no history class!
He's so old that somebody bid on him on the "Antiques Road Show"!
When congress asked to see his birth certificate, he handed them a rock!
Airport workers ask to check his bags... and he's not carrying any luggage!
He's so old the fire department is on standby when they light his birthday cake!
He's so old he was the one who flicked the switch when god said "let there be light!" ZN

Tom Harper said...

McCain is so old he remembers seeing Christians being thrown to the lions. And he thought "someday it'll be US throwing THEM to the lions."

FranIAm said...

STFU! This is too damn funny. Oh Randal, I am so old that making me laugh this hard is a possible crime!!!

Anonymous said...

To la belette rouge: You know "The Match Game" is on DVD, don't you?