Tuesday, February 5, 2008

That's super!

"Johnny, which one of those babies do you want me to eat?
How about that one right there."
"Um, no thanks, Rudy, I think I would like their parents to vote for me."
"But I'm sooooo hungry. You didn't bogart all the ferrets, did you?"

"Yes, wingnut press, I have boobies. No, you can't see them."

"Some of my best friends are black!"

"Yeah, right. Hey, let go already. I've got another thousand to shake!"

"Damn sons. Where did they hide the bikes? Ouch, my hammy! I'm gonna feel that come morning. Worthless magic underpants."

"Kneel before Zod! I mean, Jesus!"

I love the smell of snake oil in the morning.


pissed off patricia said...

Here's how crazy it's gotten. Rudy was on tv this morning defending the idea that McInsane is not conservative enough. He started pointing out the areas where Reagan wasn't conservative. How's that for a turn around? First they all wanted to be like Reagan because he was so very conservative and now it's a plus to be as non-conservative as Reagan was. Whew, I'm getting dizzy.

The repubs are having a hell of a time this year. Half of them want to vote for Reagan and the other half want to vote for Jesus. Neither of which is on the ballot.

Mary Ellen said...

I was hoping that Rudy would stay in the race. I wanted to see his Mardi Gras gown....I'll bet it would be lovely.

Don't forget about Fat Tuesday today! Eat lots of stuff, the calories don't count today. Right? Right? Please tell me I'm right!

Anonymous said...

oh gee whiz Randal, have a super day.

(gawd, I'm a dork.)

as you were....

Angie said...

Thanks for the comic relief today. Much needed in my little biosphere.

Dean Wormer said...

I, for one, welcome our new giant ant overlords.

Mary Ellen said...

Well I had fun today when I brought my mom and a couple of her senior friends to go vote. You should have heard them chattering behind their screens while voting. None of them can see or hear worth a darn and although they all said they voted for Hillary...who knows who they ended up voting for! Bless their hearts, they were so proud to wear their "I Voted! sticker.

Damn....that's going to be me in a few years. Sheesh.

Randal Graves said...

POP, Reagan was an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in hair cream. But wait, isn't Reagan both man AND Jesus? Oh, wingnuts, how thy lunacy doth confuseth me!

ME, ha ha ha! And just eat as much as you wish. We won't tell a soul. If you can't trust complete strangers on the internets, who can you trust?

colleen, if you weren't a dork, we'd like you less.

angie, we aim to please, and usually fail miserably. Hey, that rhymes, and you know that rhymes, Marge.

dean, I can't wait to be toiling in the underground sugar caves!

ME, now, and I understand this is very odd, but I have a legitimate, serious question - no, hey, where are you going?!?!?!

If someone does have bad vision, do they allow someone to join them in the booth to help them out? I've never really paid attention when I voted, just went into the booth, did my thing, and got the hell out.

Dr. Zaius said...

That is completely false. Nobody wants to see Hillary's boobies.

Candace said...

Fuckabee took all the delegates in W. Va.! Figures...

Randal Graves said...

dr. zaius, oh come now, I'm sure Dick Morris does.

candace, I'm thinking we have to worry less about Fuckabee than before. I love Rush ragging on McCain though. Brilliant ploy by the noise machine. Make him seem more liberal than he is so moderates go to him, then add the wingnuts in et voilà, mucho votes.

Mary Ellen said...


If someone is visually impaired, they can get help either from someone at the desk or a family or friend, as long as they inform them at the desk that they will need help. I know a lot of the seniors have trouble with the electronic voting machines, they're not used to the technology. My mom freaks out if there is anything to do with computers.

Mauigirl said...

This was great, loved the captions!

Jen Clark said...

You crack me up, Randal. I needed a laugh today.

I went on a mission today to a few different polling places (I've posted about it if you are curious why) and one of the places had people voting in a church. I couldn't help but wonder if the Huckabee voters were orgasmic about that. Like they were on a mission from God to save our us from ourselves.

Randal Graves said...

ME, don't worry, all we have to do is wait for the next generation of voting machines where they do the voting for us! No thought necessary!

mauigirl, thanks!

jen, merci, I can't compete with you guys and your thoughtful, in-depth posts, hence this crap.

And hey, if they won't save us, who will? Us? Not bloody likely.

"We're on a mission from Gahd."

Swinebread said...

ha ha ha

Tom Harper said...

Too funny.

Who Hijacked Our Country

dguzman said...

Nice work, Randal!

Anonymous said...

I realize I'm late to this one, but maybe Hillary could replace the 5 mil she had to lend to her campaign by doing a nude oil wrestling grudge match with Monica.

Damn. That was off topic.

No, it wasn't. It was inspired by mention of Hillary's hooters.

Randal Graves said...

Have you no sense of decency, madame, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?

Wait, I know that answer to this one!