Saturday, February 2, 2008

Ulysses? I'll grant you that.

You're Ulysses!

by James Joyce

Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

A vulgar, incoherent flâneur? How appropriate.

Except for the Greek folk hero thing. I'd rather write.


Freida Bee said...

Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense.

I mean, you could have written that line. This is a good one, and what a good pic of Joyce.

Are you vulgar? I hadn't noticed. What is it about French that makes vulgarity seem refined?

Spartacus said...

Vulgar...schmulgar, if this quiz says you're Joyce...then god fucking damn it that's who you are. Live with it.

-Joe H.

fairlane said...

I was going to say something by Danielle Steel, but whatever.

Colleen said...


You're Cat's Cradle!
by Kurt Vonnegut

You believe quite firmly that free will deserted you long ago and far away. As a result, it's hard to take responsibility for anything. Even though you show great potential as a leader of a small 3rd world country, the choices are all made ahead of time. You're rather fond of games involving string. Your fear of nuclear weaponry is trumped only by your fear of ice.

Randal Graves said...

FB, I suppose I meant vulgar in terms of all the fucking swearing. I'm pretty nondescript otherwise.

Joe H., there's really no need for any fucking profanity. Some dumbass kids might be reading this shit.

fairlane, great. Give away my secret guilty pleasure. You don't have my vote for emperor anymore.

colleen, but what kind of string, fiber or silly?

Colleen said...

I was thinking "theory".

Tom Harper said...

And here's another Vonnegut: I'm Mother Night. I guess I should go read it now. I've read most of his early books but not that one.

I rented the movie a few years ago. If you didn't know that book had been made into a movie, there's a reason: It was so pisspoor, we watched about 15 minutes of it and then took out the video and went on to the next one.

I read somewhere that Vonnegut hated the movie version of most of his books. Slaughterhouse Five was his only exception.

Who Hijacked Our Country

Mauigirl said...

I'm either The Guns of August or The Grapes of Wrath depending on whether I say I focus on the world or on America. I've never read either so I guess I should put them both on my list!

Mary Ellen said...

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!
by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff could get you killed.

All because I said I didn't like Oprah Winfrey. Sheesh.

Randal Graves said...

colleen, oh, you're one of those scienticians.

tom, I haven't read that one either. And it's that bad, not even a so-bad-it's-good Plan 9 From Outer Space bad?

mauigirl, the problem with a quiz like this is you realize, even if you love to read, just how much stuff you haven't read.

ME, the power of Oprah is boundless. I hope you've learned your lesson.

Distributorcap said...

james joyce, who never met a word he didnt like

we HAD to read ulysses..........and it was not fun

My Inner French Girl said...

Awesome quiz! I'm The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver:

Deeply rooted in a religious background, you have since become both isolated and schizophrenic. You were naively sure that your actions would help people, but of course they were resistant to your message and ultimately disaster ensued. Since you can see so many sides of the same issue, you are both wise beyond your years and tied to worthless perspectives. If you were a type of waffle, it would be Belgian.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Especially the schizophrenic part. I mean, how else to explain the title of my blog: My Inner French Girl? I'm thinking of starting My Inner Swedish Girl, My Inner Japanese Girl, My Inner Filipino Girl, My Inner American Girl...


Candace said...

Okay, when no one is LOOKING, you're a Greek hero. But, when someone IS looking, you're a ... what? Just wondering.

Okay, I'll go take the quiz...

Candace said...

And the results are [drumroll]:

You're Loosely Based!
by Storey Clayton

While most people haven't heard of you, you're a really good and interesting person. Rather clever and witty, you crack a lot of jokes about the world around you. You do have a serious side, however, where your interest covers the homeless and the inequalities of society. You're good at bringing people together, but they keep asking you what your name means.

I want my money back, Randal!

Randal Graves said...

dcap, yeah, that book isn't Happy Fun Candy, that's for sure.

Majorie, as long as one of your personalities isn't a serial killer!

Candace, I think when people look, I just swear. And um, I've never heard of that book. No refunds!

dguzman said...

You and me, buddy--making ourselves clear with vulgarity. It's the only way to fly.

My Inner French Girl said...

Well, lessee...I'm home most of the time. I'm a fairly quiet, low-key person. Rather nice, I would say. And pretty smart.

Isn't that how the neighbors of most serial killers tend to describe them?


Randal Graves said...

dguzman, you've got that fucking right.

marjorie, shit, you're right. "We never would've guessed that she was capable of cutting up and eating her victims with onions. She was such a loner, we just never knew."