Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Meaningful meaninglessness















"Keep those mutants memes coming!"

Ask, and ye shall receive. Amen. (I've got zip.)

"Really? Nothing to say about this?"

Should I be surprised? Another self-loathing, diaper-wearing, wide-stancing, pasty-faced, hypocrite goober gooper.
















I'm too sexy for the FCC!

"You've got the wrong cracker politician."

Bah. They all look the same to me.

1. Five names you go by: Randal, RG, real life #1, real life #2, real life #3.

2. Three things you are wearing right now: who says I'm wearing anything? Wink, nudge. Sorry, didn't mean to make you throw up. Jeans, sneakers and a black shirt.

3. Two things you want very badly at the moment: you honestly think I'm going to answer this question honestly? Be honest with yourself. Okay, here are a couple of nondescript yet perfectly plausible desires: a Browns victory in the Subpar Bowl and a Cavs victory in the NBA Finals. Those would be quite groovy. Honestly.

4. Three people who will probably fill this out: you, you and you.

5. Two things you did last night: watched the Texans/Jag-wires game and work on my increasingly unwieldy final paper for class.

6. Two things you ate today: ham and eggs.

7. Two people you last talked to on the phone: two unknown jokers Saturday when I was last at work. Je déteste le téléphone !

8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow: go to class and work on my increasingly unwieldy final paper for said class.

9. Two longest car rides: Cleveland to DC in 1984 which didn't seem as long as it would seem now because I was a kid and therefore either busy doing kid-related activities (drawing, playing these cool fold-up magnetic travel games which they don't make anymore, mooning passers-by) and asking "are we there yet" an infinite number of times; and Cleveland to Elimira, NY in 2001 for my sister's college graduation which, though only about five hours, was sooooooooo blooooooooody loooooooooong. See the boring shit I do for wingnut kin? Where's my fucking Presidential Medal of Freedom?

10. Two of your favorite beverages: wine and coffee. Though I probably drink water the most. Now, if I could only manage to eat healthier, exercise and become adept at magic, I'd be the BMOC.

20 comments:

Übermilf said...

Um, can't people ALREADY screen out pornography if they choose? We do it for the Ubergirls.

Agi said...

cue Darth Vader scream...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Spartacus said...

You mean you don't drink beer? Damn it... fooled again!

Our Juicy Life said...

i like this meme...course i love wine and coffee and i ate ham and eggs for breakfast and i hate the telephone too (we don't have one here in france). thanks for sharing.

Dean Wormer said...

Okay, I'll be your huckleberry.

I'll take your evil quiz today.

Randal Graves said...

übermilf, fine, do your job as a parent. Sheesh.

agi, you can have my pornography when you pry it from my cold, flaccid hands!

spartacus, only when forced at gunpoint.

OJL, no phone at all? I'm jealous. But with the lunatic offspring, it's probably a good idea that we still have one.

dean, my machinations of blasphemy are coming to fruition! Muahahahaha!

FranIAm said...

Porn-free internet? Oxymoron plus!

I mean, what kind of fuckery is THAT? Yeah, I'd love to see whats in Kevin Martin's cache, if you know what I mean.

BTW, I am really anxious to see bachelor #3 do that meme for you, yes I am indeed.

Dusty said...

The FCC freak will be out of a job soon...but apparently not soon enough?

Damn those meme's!

Sal Kilmister said...

Thanks...I had forgotten how much I hate the FCC.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

1. Five names you go by: KELSO, HURRICANE, EL NEOYORQUINO, CARLOS BELTRAN, DAVID MOISES ENGELSOHN (official pseudonym)

2. Three things you are wearing right now: BLACK OLD NAVY T-SHIRT, STRIPED FAWN AND BLACK PAJAMA BOTTOMS, NIKE SLIPPERS

3. Two things you want very badly at the moment: you honestly think I'm going to answer this question honestly? Be honest with yourself.

FOR THE METS TO WIN THE SERIES IN '09, FOR ME TO PICK THE RIGHT TIME TO SHORT THE US DOLLAR FINANCE PURCHASE OF SWISS FRANCS


4. Three people who will probably fill this out: D-CAP, D-CUP, UTAH

5. Two things you did last night:

WATCHED "AMERICAN GANGSTER" ON CABLE. ATE POPCORN.

6. Two things you ate today: ham and eggs. MCDONALD'S "BIG TASTY" AND THE REMAINS OF LAST NIGHT'S SUPPER: Red Snapper in coconut sauce, steamed fresh mixed vegetables, mashed potatoes

7. Two people you last talked to on the phone: GIRLFRIEND (Magdalena Zapata Gomez de Kelso) (FRIEND IN GEORGIA, David "The Gunslinger" Bach)


8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow: SHAVE; GO SEE MY ATTORNEY


9. Two longest car rides: BARCELONA TO MADRID, LONDON TO YORK


10. Two of your favorite beverages: JIM BEAM, SWISS MISS INSTANT COCOA

Randal Graves said...

fran, ask and ye shall receive. Well, not right now, but maybe later if I can think of anything comical.

What's in his cache? Probably stuff he got from Mark Foley.

dusty, I love 'em, less thought required!

sal, you down with FCC? Yeah, you know me! Who's down with FCC? Every last whitey!

kelso, oh man, the Swiss Miss cocoa is pretty damn good, no?

La Belette Rouge said...

Yes, Doug Henning was one BMOC. Dear Randal if you do not know the beauty of Doug Henning do yourself a favor and google. Perhaps if you drink more water you will one day grow up to be as Hunktastic as Dougy( I think his brother was in Three Dog Night) was.

S.W. Anderson said...

I'm with you on coffee, wine and not finding phone time all that enjoyable.

Longest drive: Mississippi to the northernmost part of Maine in 1965 — by myself.

First they came for the porn and no one objected. Then they came for the liberal rants, and then the moderate ones. When finally they came for the daily newspapers and four-month-old copies of Newsweek in doctors' waiting rooms, it was too late.

I hope Obama drop-kicks Bush's FCC appointees into the middle of the 16th century, where they'll feel right at home.

Liberality said...

When Cheney answers your meme will be when your beloved sports teams will win a trophy.

ok that was mean I admit it but I was just kidding. Cheney will never answer your meme but your sports teams may win something sometime in the infinate future
;)

Randal Graves said...

LBR, are you kidding? Of course I remember the magical genius of Doug Henning!

SWA, that's a hell of a road trip. And that's quite a shot at the 16th century. Wouldn't the 9th be more appropriate? Nevermind, Charlemagne had about 700 concubines. You're correct.

liberality, Ahem. see above in about 20 seconds, smarty pants. ;-)

DCup said...

Does that black tee shirt have the faux tuxedo thing on the front?

Betty C. said...

Yay for your favorite beverages. They're my favorites too. Maybe they're more like my ONLY beverages!

Randal Graves said...

dcup, hey, I never said anything about it being a t-shirt. I'm only a bum 98% of the time. I've got class, dammit.

betty, come to think of it, I don't drink much more than those myself! Well, tea, I suppose.

S.W. Anderson said...

"Charlemagne had about 700 concubines."

Whew! And to think, they called William the Conqueror.

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