Frankie may have gone to Noo Yawk, and the Metropolitans may have landed themselves a Putz -- imagine how annoying it must have been growing up with that as your name -- but we got Joe the Everyman!
"And he throws side-arm, no doubt reminding you of Bernie Kosar, the quarterback the last time the Browns didn't suck acres of smelly ass, which will certainly help be the salve to the painfully venomous sting of the inevitability of The Fucking Yankees signing A.J. Burnett."
I hate you. Now, onto to the best part of the wrap. Yum!
This is what I see on my teevee.
This is what the other 29 teams see.
Speaking of things that look like death, can you believe what's happening to Skeletor, a man who has single-handedly protected our borders from hordes of Mexcans, flocks of Canucks, gaggles of geese, Osama bin Laden, Osama bin Laden's driver, Osama bin Laden's tailor, Ayatollah Khomeini, Dr. Doom, Hitler's brain in a jar, those aliens from Independence Day and Roland Emmerich? I know what my gut says, but let's ask a real gut for its opinion:
"I think somebody spit in this."