Friday, December 5, 2008

The wages of insomnia














"You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning."

Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you watching your best friend star in a porn flick and when she's done, pass her a robe and nonchalantly resume debating whether Baron Davis will be a good fit with the Clippers, which is more difficult than one might think because you don't know whether the porn was made before or after Elton Brand signed with Philly?

"No."

Why am I the only one who has that dream?

20 comments:

Spartacus said...

I keep having a wet dream of King James in a Knicks uniform. As for your dream, it's okay to pass here the robe. Just be glad you didn't have to fluff her partner. ;^)

anita said...

Is that Val Kilmer? And if so, then I was completely unaware that he did porn.

Christopher said...

Yes, we have no bananas.

Randal Graves said...

spartacus, LeBron leaving Cleveland and having to be the fluffer? I can't think of a worse nightmare than that. ;-)

anita, that is indeed the future governor of New Mexico. And don't tell me you've never seen Real Genius!

christopher, can't say a banana has ever made an appearance during REM sleep. They're good on corn flakes, though!

Liberality said...

At least you can remember your dreams. My dreams are so boring that I can't even bother to remember them when I wake up.

MRMacrum said...

Unclothed wimmin beat ducks in lingerie most days of the week.

Dean Wormer said...

+100 for the Real Genius reference. Kilmer is insanely charismatic in that film.

(Although I'm also digging the older, fatter Kilmer that we've seen of late.)

Übermilf said...

"Little pickles?"

Paging Dr. Freud...

Utah Savage said...

Ubermilf often says exactly what I was thinking.

What was it about last night? I'm writing a dream post too. Mine is a dream from childhood, but strange. No little pickles, though.

Missy said...

Yeah, the little pickles got to me, too. But what I'm wondering is the context of it all. Are they screaming in adoration or derision?

Does anyone like baby gherkins?

FranIAm said...

I think you are pulling a copycat insomnia thing on me!

Randal Graves said...

liberality, believe me, the fact that I remember, and the fact that it wasn't mind-numbingly boring is a shock akin to winning the Spanish lottery.

mrmacrum, hmmm. Most days? Yeah, you're probably right.

dean, one of the great underrated comedies of all time, dammit.

And so am I, mainly because I'm also getting older and fatter.

übermilf, utah and missy, it appears than none of you have see Real Genius. Nothing but big pickles round chez Randal.

Don't mind that sound folks, just the wife laughing uncontrollably.

fran, you're the copycat, just like you always steal my ideas for Catholic posts, heathen!

La Belette Rouge said...

Why is that picture so deeply disturbing? You are so good at finding pictures that require me to wash my brain out with soap.
Hope you get some sleep and that your future REM cycles do not involve sports.

Randal Graves said...

LBR, it does look a bit psychotic, doesn't it? The YouTube where I grabbed the screen compressed it a bit too much.

I hope my future REM cycles don't involve sports, either. I'd like to get some for once, dammit. I can watch sports when I'm awake.

Sherry Peyton said...

Just one word for ya Randal! PERVERT! ROFL

DCup said...

It could be worse. You could be having my nightmares.

Utah Savage said...

I have to agree with you Dcup, your dream is far more disturbing. I'm gobstopped by it.

S.W. Anderson said...

"Why am I the only one who has that dream?"

Dunno, but it sounds as though you could do a psych grad student who's wondering what to do his doctoral thesis on a great favor by telling him all about it. :=)

susan said...

You are a truly strange man.. but funny.

Randal Graves said...

sherry, I don't disagree, but it's not as if that's an insult!

dcup, do I even want to know?

utah, apparently I don't. But, gluttonous punishment and all that.

SWA, a psych grad student? I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot stack of the complete works of Freud. ;-)

susan, better than being normal and unfunny.