Friday, May 22, 2009

No blood, no foul

Los Angeles Times: Obama and Cheney in a duel for hearts and minds
New York Daily News: President Obama, ex-Vice President Cheney battle over who has better vision for protecting America
Seattle Times: President, Cheney duel over how to fight terror

Dear entertainment wing of the military/industrial complex,

This isn't a duel.

This is.

Or this.

Or, in Unka Dick's megalomaniacal noodle, this.

Wankers. Don't make me return to jihad.


La Belette Rouge said...

I wish Obama would fight Cheney like Spock did Kirk. Have you seen Obama's guns? She could so take Cheney. Yes, I am talking about Michelle.

Übermilf said...

This must be republican payback for Al Gore's movie and speaking tours and appearances on Saturday Night Live.

If your ex-VP won't stay out of the spotlight, neither will ours, they must be saying.

Well played, right wing, well played.

Mary Ellen said...

Obama and Cheney in a duel for hearts and mindsI thought Cheney only ate the livers, I guess his taste buds have changed. Greedy bastard.

I've never been a Star Trek fan but that was a cool fight scene. I can see why Kirk was so pissed off when Spock tore his jammies, though.

Dean Wormer said...

Amok Time- best fight theme song ever. I enjoy the hell out of riffs of that scene in pop culture including Jim Carrey fighting Mathew Broderick in "Cable Guy" and Homer fighting his buddy to get into Nasa.

As for Cheney v. Obama - I think a more apt comparison would be one of those stunt wrestling promotions with Andre the Giant v. a herd of midgets. Obama's Andre in my formulation.

Spartacus said...

How I love these stupid headlines. It should read, "Yet another attempt by Cheney to play CYA." Sadly, our law enforcement apparatus has no problem sniffing out suspected terrorists, but they can't seem to indict admitted criminals. One word: oligarchy.

Randal Graves said...

LBR, true, but you know Cheney has all kinds of tricks up his sleeves of human flesh.

übermilf, they may appear dumb as posts and say things that only an inbred rock could utter, but lookie lookie.

nunly, he likes the tough, stringy texture of hearts. A workout for the jaws.

Good thing he wasn't wearing his Underoos!

dean, The Cable Guy is a completely underrated flick. And don't forget that this wondrous music was the national anthem of Dr. Zoidberg's home planet.

Obama vs. Cheney and Weepy the Walking Spray-On Can and Kristol and such? I might shell out some PPV cash if I can watch politicians beat the crap out of each other.

spartacus, crucial difference: those SUPERTERRORISTS wanted to harm America, whereas Cheney was only doing what he thought was right in saving us from the SUPERTERRORISTS over there, you socialist. Getting a happy was merely a bonus.

susan said...

Oh good, more circus stunts to appease the hoi polloi. Why am I suspicious?

Liberality said...

That's some title there to this post...

Beach Bum said...

Like to see Shatner and Nimoy redo that fight scene now with both so damn old.

Heard a small part of the speech Cheney gave to day. That bastard is really all sorts of crazy.

Utah Savage said...

I bet I could whip the crap out of Cheney with my custom made foil. I couldn't stab him through the heart, but I could leave some nasty welts and scars. Oh, I can thrust and parry. And what I lack in skill, I make up for in ferocity.

Cheney is a freak show.

S.W. anderson said...

The media frame this background static as a duel. What dreck.

The shattered remnants of Japan's Imperial Army and Navy weren't dueling with U.S. forces in 1946. Sen. Joe McCarthy wasn't dueling with attorney Joesph N. Welch in 1955. Elvis wasn't dueling with Rudy Valleee in 1956.

And, Obama isn't dueling with dead ender Dick Cheney now.

Randal Graves said...

susan, everyone loves a circus, especially those pie-throwin' clowns.

liberality, just trying to appease Cheney. I figure that if he realizes there's no blood here, he'll move along.

BB, I've got something even more disturbing: a sing-off.

I'm of the school that says 99.5% of all politicians are nuts, but he's quite the specimen.

utah, I'd pay good cash to see you fillet his soul.

SWA, excuse me, you mean, American Hero and Official Tailgunner of the Plane of Justice, the Right Hon. Sen. Joe McCarthy.

Mauigirl said...

Obama should just use the Vulcan Nerve Pinch on Cheney and it would be all over.

S.W. anderson said...

Randal wrote: "utah, I'd pay good cash to see you fillet his soul."
Bravo! Best laugh of the day.

Dr. Zaius said...

You shouldn't take Ponn Farr so lightly. They only serve finger sandwiches, and no condiments!