Friday, May 29, 2009

The Sporting Life (yes, this post contains more sports you whiny wankers)

Delaying the inevitable bombast of simmering disappointment, or the start of a tastelicious comeback worthy of saucy thick beef stew and fresh blueberry muffins with a laudanum chaser? Fuck if I know.

Detroit vs. Pittsburgh: one team is beat up and injured -- which is akin to saying one is [insert famous windbag of your choice] and stupid, thus apologies for the repetition -- and will likely be missing key guys; the other has the two best players on the planet still on skates instead of wasting precious time doing something pointless and boring such as that game of skill which is not a sport at all, just like darts, which isn't a sport either dammit but is enjoyable unlike the aforementioned but unnamed game of skill but not a sport known to the washed and well-coiffed cracker masses as golf. Of course, the Red Wings could conjure up some 60s old man castoff Maple Leaf in like flinty übergrit and pull it off, but the odds are likely going to die. Penguins in six.

Speaking of über, no poetical panegyric for you since your drunken Blackhawks lost, muahahahaha, etc.

Oh, alright.

Sure, your team is a collective goober
but don't worry, you're still über.


Anonymous said...

Cavs win = prolonging the inevitable. Should we start calling you Sisyphus?

Übermilf said...

I will take what I can get.

I am printing it out and putting it in my scrapbook.

Dr. Zaius said...

It takes a big handkerchief to admit that you are a collective goober.

Nunly said...

Is that a pic of Ice Hockey or Ice Ballet? That's quite a Fouetté en tournant that dude is doing. (hey, I should get credit for research of ballet terms, ya know.)

Hockey still sucks, but your posts don't, well, most of the time they don't. ;-)

sunshine said...

I was flipping through the channels last night and saw that the NBA playoffs were on. I thought to myself.."self, Randal Graves (as he's known in Blogland) is watching THAT right now..). It could have gotten weird. I could have watched just because you were watching.
I ended up sitting through a mind numbing hour of Lional Ritchie with daughter Nicole. They took turns telling each other that they were the others hero.
Then I watched my taped episode of Jon and "Hate" plus 8. (you know all those marriage trouble are Hates fault..)
So anyhow.. just thought I'd tell you that my stalking has not evolved to the watching what he's watching level yet. :)

S.W. anderson said...

I demand equal bandwidth for team croquet!

Randal Graves said...

spartacus, sure, but unlike Sisyphus, I can at least take some time off until training camp.

übermilf, I'm quite moved. I think I might even have some of that icky empathy they're all chatting about.

dr. zaius, if you're honest with yourself, it's easier to lie to others. Politics, here I come!

nunly, I was looking for a shot that combined both teams and couldn't pass that up. Funny you bring up ballet, I'm re-ripping Swan Lake as I type. I'll pretend I didn't read the part about my posts sucking. ;-)

sunshine, as long as I don't come home to boiling rabbits, stalk all you want. But you'll never get me to watch Larry King unless I need tips on suspenders. ;-)

SWA, not until there are posts on bocce ball!

Dusty said...

IF King James hadn't of gotten a triple double..the Cav's would be getting tee times to sharpen their collective golf games.

King James can't be the only weapon on the Cav's or they will be going down soon enough.

I actually turned off the game prior to the end..I was so pissed at the other guys on the team.

Tom Harper said...

Oooohhhh, mooooore spoooorrts???

That's supposed to be an imitation of The Whiners, from SNL, early '80s.

Suzan said...

Not reading anymore (today).

Yuk! It really was just about sports.

Not very sporting, Randal.

Ricky Shambles said...

Tomorrow evening shall be glorious. Or tragic. Either way, it will involve beer.

sunshine said...

Hmmmm I never said it was Larry King!!! Muwhahahahah*cough,cough*hahaha.... all I said was The Ritchies... oooooooo. Me thinks "someone" watches Larry King on the sly.
And no.. you won't come home to boiling rabbit. I can't promise that there won't be salami, mortadella and pepperoni hanging from the ceiling though. ;)

Utah Savage said...

What Doctor Zaius said. And I didn't even read this sports post (except for the verse) you goober.

Randal Graves said...

dusty, I can't shake the vision of LeBron going off for 50-something tonight while everyone else bricks three after three.

tom, I'm drawing a complete blank on that sketch and dammit, now I have to waste precious slack time looking it up.

suzan, all the internet's a field, and all the men and women merely players.

ricky, I'm hoping there will be another round of beer come Monday.

sunshine, certainly not, I merely saw the commercial as I surfed! Larry, like everyone else on that network, is a yokel.

I'm not sure how to take the whole hanging meat thing. ;-)

utah, no sports today, are we happy?

Dean Wormer said...

I did not see this coming. Seriously. Best player in the league is in Cleveland.