Friday, May 1, 2009

Deep Thoughts



If I torture a wingnut for information that I believe may save lives, am I off the hook for my hate crime? [editor's note: I am not the president of anything, nor am I the holder of any state secrets as far as I know, so I'm not sure it's okay, that's why I'm asking you, gentle reader, for your legal opinion]

P.S. Supernaut has nothing to do with anything in this post to the best of my knowledge except that it's a great fucking tune and I was jonesing for some Sabbath, so go to hell.

15 comments:

Dr. Zaius said...

Just because you are pig headed, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have swine flu. But it helps. ;o)

Christopher said...

Did you see the report that shows the more devout a person and more regularly they attend church, the more they dig torture?

The more bloodier and more painful the better for the these Bible thumping, religious loons.

Maybe someone can explain this to the rest of us?

Spartacus said...

I would turn my back only because it's you Randal. Go ahead, waterboard and cattle-prod the mofos. I didn't see a thing!

La Belette Rouge said...

Do you want to know how good a writer you are? Do you want to know how f'n amazing your poetry is? I'll tell you how good: I even come over to see you when I know full and well I am going to be met with sports and music that would make Morrissey cry.

Liberality said...

Excellent jam dude!

Randal Graves said...

dr. zaius, so what you're saying is that I need to be even more swine-y? Pork chops with a side of ham, I could go for that!

christopher, when you have so much of your crap swathed in the imagery of war against the heathen, converting the nonbeliever, the Other looks mighty tempting as a target.

spartacus, hey, it's for the good of the nation. I don't think we can trust someone like Hannity, do you?

LBR, is that a not-so-subtle hint to put up more poesy and less sports? And of course Morrissey would cry at some classic Sabbath; he knows how bloody good it is!

Randal Graves said...

liberality, hell yeah, possibly their finest album, nice and claustrophobic. ;-)

La Belette Rouge said...

To point one: yes.
To point two: ROFLOL.

Tom Harper said...

Of course it's OK to torture a wingnut, under certain circumstances. You know the drill about the ticking time bomb...

Or let's say you know that somebody has millions stashed away in a secret bank account in the Cayman Islands, and this wingnut won't give you the account number. Crank up the voltage.

Mary Ellen said...

You've been torturing with us with your sports posts already, so I guess it doesn't matter...I still keep coming back. Of course, being one who is devout and attends church on a regular basis, that may explain my love for torture.

:-)

susan said...

Fundamentalism leads to brain death which in turn leads to pointy stick stimulation in order that the dead may walk. Don't go there except in company of a nun who knows her business.

Übermilf said...

By torture, do you mean raising the standard of living for the poor and middle class? Because that seems to make them howl in pain.

Randal Graves said...

LBR, you know, I'm tempted to get in contact with He-Weasel and set up some complex sting operation whereby you're forced to do nothing but watch sports and listen to Black Sabbath. Think of the Igor possibilities!

tom, we did receive information that Mr. Beck may be holding some potentially dangerous items in his Bunker of Death.

Hmmm, I might like your Cayman Islands scenario better. All the bills we could pay with that unethical scratch!

nunly, that's what you get for sticking with RC and their six-hour masses. ;-)

susan, so it's all about controlling an army of zombie brain-munchers? I better stock up on shotgun shells.

übermilf, bah! Pshaw! Harrumph! The poor and middle class don't create jobs, they only suck at our teat. Be happy with the scraps you do get, serfs.

Sal Kilmister said...

I was going to try and come up with something clever, but I won't be able to top what Ubermilf wrote. Good work!

Project Matt said...

It is a common belief that all desire causes suffering, so even your Black Sabbath is torture.

And besides even if someone was accused of such acts proving it legitimately will be a daunting task. I do not believe that lack of action after the release of the torture memos is due to a desire to condone torture but to realistically portray the steps it will take to prosecute people who have served our military, and to give people fair and unbiased trials it would be best if public discussion is left to a minimal.

Now I am going to go find some Al-Qaeda operatives to water board.