Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Skydiving arsonist sets own aeroplane on fire. Film at 11.

Parliament: funky? Dull? Ick?
No, sometimes, and yes.
Simple answers to stupid queries,
here's one of three: never question stupidity,
though I'll grant a crispy Grant
if you punchy holey wally world.
Vacation, vacation --
"In this bastard nation?"
cold cuts and daydream emancipation,
get your diner kicks on Route 666.
I'd like a sandwich, don't spare la moutard,
Molson. Moulson? Plays for the Islanders.
Fish sticks, fish sticks --
"Been drinking like moonshine hicks?"
Flic your Bic, burn that wick,
lick an ice cream cone --
"Bone rhymes too for more innuendo."
What do you do for money honey,
all work and no play makes us Congress
on C-Span Seventy-Five.
Chives are fine, bacon bits better,
butter and sour cream, sour puss.
Sleepy, sleepy,
I feel so creepy, shut up, shut up.
Come on down to my house,
I'll stuff your chute right
and we'll go diving at night.
Relax, I've got a light.


Mary Ellen said...

Hmmm...too bad that's not what happens to the wall street banker's golden parachutes.

Übermilf said...

I'm smelling clove cigarettes and hearing beatniks snap their fingers when I read this.

sunshine said...

Why do I think that the Molson Moulson thing was a shout out to me??

Oh.. you'll stuff our chute right will you?
That sounds like ... fun! :D

Good stuff. Fun poem! :P


Randal Graves said...

nunly, you know they're flame retardant. C'mon.

übermilf, if only I had a beret.

sunshine, I was merely going for some assonance and consonance. I mean, Vive Canada! Fun? I'm thinking depressing. You know, save the chute stuffing. ;-)

sunshine said...

Oh well... excuse me!
Gawd you're miserable today!


Liberality said...

Ain't no sunshine when she gone Randal, I'm just saying ;)

Liberality said...

uh hem, when "she's gone" I meant...

creeping quietly away and hiding...

Tom Harper said...

What Mary Ellen said. That would be the perfect outcome for those golden parachutists.

sunshine said...

I mean seriously...
Just because it takes me ... ummm.. almost 4 hours to "get it"....

Yes. I'm back but I'm leaving again..


okjimm said...

Ya know... I always knew you had a good Xmas song in your heart! Good job.

Demeur said...

Thought everyone knew the golden parachutes were fireproof. Why do you think they cost so much?

Bacon bits? Nah, cheddar is better. And where's the whip cream? Can't have chute stuffing without whip cream and a cherry on top. A little flambe for added excitment... no?

Steve Weddle said...

Cool stuff. Lots of flow, y'know?

Holte Ender said...

Here come old flat top he come groovin' up slowly, he got joo-joo eyeball he one holy roller . . .

tres Beatlesque

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

I keep hearing bongo drums when I read it, and I see William Shatner's puffy face. Oh, wait. That was Conan O'Brian.

Never mind.



PS - good line about stuffing chutes.

PENolan said...

I never know what to say about poetry because once I warm to the topic, I start sounding like an undergraduate's essay. Ergo, I'll just say, "hello"

jadedj said...

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Or fall.

Beach Bum said...

I'm more than lost and like PENolan I'll just say Geronimo.

Crow said...

You have to be careful of skydiving with a woman who carries a flame thrower. Nice torch song.

MRMacrum said...

There once was a skidiving guy named Sam

He hit the ground with a frightening bam

As he laid there a puddle

Befuddled amongst the rubble

His final thought

Jeez dude, this could be trouble


Okay, so yours is better. Yeah well, least my team still has a chance to make the playoffs.

Seriously though, this one snapped right along. I liked it.

sunshine said...

Don't tell him that you liked it Mike.
He doesn't like that...

*sticks tongue out*


S.W. Anderson said...

Re: Mary Ellen's comment — right on!

Re: Randal's poem. I wonder what Edna Mae Alcott would make of it.

grave markers said...

its really very nice article thanks for sharing this with us.

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, I always am, sometimes I just smile while being so. Trickery!

liberality, I stole a parachute from Wall Street, so it's cool.

tom, why do you hate America?

sunshine, now who's miserable?

okjimm, I might have to repost A Busmas Carol.

demeur, cheddar is good, but the charred parts of a dead animal? C'mon.

steve, I think the flow helps hide it being a colossal flaw.

holte, how now brown bureaucrats.

tengrain, Just Add Shatner. Instant improvement!

PENolan, it would match my undergraduate poem.

jadedj, I'm surrounded by Beatles denizens!

BB, Crazy Horse. I think that was a strip joint somewhere around here.

crow, precisely why I wear an asbestos suit.

mrmacrum, true, but we're going to hire Mike Holmgren as Football Czar and then everything will be alright. Watch Quinn throw 40 TD passes next year.

sunshine, blah blah blah.

SWA, I stopped writing bad checks years ago.

GM, mausoleums!

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jadedj said...

Randal, Anonymous has a point you know.

Randal Graves said...

Far be it from me to argue.

Freida Bee, MD said...

Randal, mmmmm. ok.

Freida Bee, MD said...

And, if you run out of batteries, remember I keep a flashlight in my cunt, dear. For emergencies, of course.

Dr. Zaius said...

I'll have the butter and sour cream without quite so much punchy holey, please. ;o)

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