Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Sweet rutabaga on rye, I got dem
no googlin' no writin' no postin' blues.
Like Abu G, I can't recall
if I've ever had rutabaga;
turnips, oui. Not lanterns, jack.
I miss Halloweenie, sniff, do you, Miss?
Missed me, missed me,
now you've gotta self-flagellate.
Hey, crusty blood, flake, fly away
like a kite thrown by a bird,
a vulture, natch, gnawing them bones,
chili chocolate marrow.
Morrow, more macabre musings,
tuning, tuning finds me turning
where? Here, there is here, everywhere.
Hear ye, hear ye, we're continuo
the land war en Asie. Vizzini?

My sentimentalists exactly, chuckles.
Wrack this track, a living wreck, yawn,
bright lights, dead city, boring bores
fantastically generic holes, phantasmal force.
Sigh, geek spellwork works so fine in the mind,
now if you don't mind, Miss, don't miss,
'tis time for a sloppy wet one or twice.

Why are you flying free, come slither,
let me touch thee and make nice. That broom,
brings out your naughty. Hmph, benched
like Big Z, I see. Bench everyone, and how, now
this verse, quittin' time, take the pine,
we coulda been somethin' baby.
Yeah, a box for one is just fine, simply sublime.


Übermilf said...

How is she supposed to land without any shoes on? Maybe her shoes fell off. That must be why a lot of witches wear lace-up boots.

Regardless, that's not a very practical outfit to wear riding a broom. I should know.

Tengrain said...

Graves, you swine!

Your poetry is inconceivable!



sunshine said...

Milf, are you sure she's not wearing shoes? I think she has some small black flats on... I could be wrong though. Those would be tres practical for landing non? (are you impressed with my en francais Randal??)

So. What's this you say about chocolate chili? That sounds interesting. Kind of like chocolate martini's!!!
Oh. You said chili chocolate marrow. Umm well... that's different, isn't it? *gulp*

I'm tired and I have a headache.


Mary Ellen said...

For a guy who's got those "no googlin' no writin' no postin' blues", you wrote some pretty good stuff.

I don't miss Halloween too much...I think I still may have a few skulls laying around the house to inspire my mood.

Excuse me now while I go self-flagellate, I think we call that "Penance" in our neck of the woods. And I have a lot to be penitent about today...sigh.

Übermilf said...

I stand corrected, Sunshine. She seems to be wearing some sort of dainty slippers. I mistook them for the toes/heels of her stockings.

On the other hand, her lace-up corset seems to be un-lacing, so she's still leaving herself a bit unprotected. A bat could get lodged in there.

Randal Graves said...

übermilf, I'll be sure to use a more fetish-y witch next time. In fact, I think it's time to use The Google. Scantily clads sure beat this working gig.

tengrain, clear as a bell, ring-a-ding-ding-ding!

sunshine, oui, j'ai un gird dans mes loins. Impressed with mine?

Relax, you can't even taste the marrow. Mmmm, cannibalism.

nunly, I'm finding it's much easier to come up with something in verse form.

No comment on war ensembles? I think you caught sunshine's brain injury.

übermilf still, that rhymes internally and you know it rhymes.

I'm all for unlacing, my hands will swat away any bat. Of course, then I'll probably get rabies and die, but at least I was able to cop one last feel.

sunshine said...

A bat or a hand apparently Milf. ;P
That flimsy jacket she's sporting will never do either!
She must not be a Canadian witch cause it gets a bit *ahem* 'nippy' here at this time of the year!

I don't think I'd want to be using that broom for sweeping after she's done with it.

Yes Randal. You know I loves your French!


puddy said...

nice postage, randall. first class for sure. come to think of it, i don't think i've ever had a rutabaga either.

hey, your cavs are whaling on the buckets lately, eh? you've gotta like that. the land of cleves could surely use a championship...

put in a good word for me with the naughty little witch, would ya?

Tom Harper said...

Whoever "Vizzini" is, he sure looks like the guy from My Dinner With Andre. If you never saw that movie, don't bother looking for it. It was the blandest movie in the history of the universe.

Holte Ender said...

Good groove, I was tapping a foot while reading.

S.W. Anderson said...

"now if you don't mind, Miss, don't miss,
'tis time for a sloppy wet one or twice. . . .

Yeah, a box for one is just fine, simply sublime."

Now it's clear. What it all comes down to, poet friend, is a whomping case of sexual frustration. Oh, and you're not fooling anyone with that "box" reference. You're not alluding to casket there; it's an old but still serviceable slang synonym, no?

You'd best be nice to Mrs. G. Snuggle, then whisper, "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine — and how about NOW?"

You never know, it might work. ;)

Übermilf said...

I haven't visited my friends in Cleveland lately. Their names are Melanie and LoLo. Do you know them? They both work at the Cleveland Clinic. No?

Anyways, if I come to town I am so finding your library and causing a scene. A ruckus, even.

susan said...

Is this an example of 12 bar blues? The blues scale would sound great over this but remember it's the intervals in the blues scale that make it interesting.

That stamp is so much more interesting than the 'forever' one with the cracked bell.

Beach Bum said...

Why are you flying free, come slither,
let me touch thee and make nice. That broom,
brings out your naughty.

At my house the broom is just for whacking me aside the head.

Anonymous said...


Randal Graves said...

sunshine, oh come on, yousguys are used to the cold. Probably have naked hockey leagues and everything.

puddy, dude, if the Cavs won the title, I'd be crying like a little girl who just had her ice cream stolen by Dick Cheney.

tom, don't tell me that you've never seen The Princess Bride. Wallace Shawn's finest hour.

holte, maybe I can join Pooty Poot on tour.

SWA, last time, you all thought that actual poem was about a car, so trust me when I say this was about my lumber business. I've got one, just like Chimpy. Wanna buy some wood?

übermilf, go right ahead, I've always wanted to put the silent alarm to the test.

susan, oh, there are intervals. Remember, poetry should be spoken aloud. Speaking of spoken, spoken like a true communist. I suppose you think we should dig up Reagan's corpse and set the bones alight? Hmmm.

BB, my man, I completely sympathize.

sunshine said...

How did you know about that naked hockey league???
Mine is called "The Nips". ;P
Thank you ! Thank you!
I'll be here all week.. be sure to tip your waitress.

dguzman said...

Wow, you're really insane, aren't you?

Randal Graves said...

sunshine, I might have to rethink this whole 'invade Canada' gig.

dguzman, only on Wednesdays.

Freida Bee, MD said...

there ya go, batboy.
"sublime" was on my mind, too.

our compilation should be a made for tv-version of a a toilet seat book for bad acid trips.

Are you in or are you in in?

Dr. Zaius said...

As far as poetry goes, I can at least say that this one does have chocolate in it. ;o)