Monday, January 5, 2009

Anger management

I see that the Lord of All Fevers and Plagues took time out of gnawing on the disinterred bones of Nixon to wax poetic on modern American political theory:

SCHIEFFER: But nobody thinks that was legal.

CHENEY: Well, no. It certainly was in the sense he wasn't impeached. And it was a wartime measure that he took that I think history says today, yeah, that was probably a good thing to do.
Believe me, I'm well aware that any sense of justice has been off the table in our empire for a long time. We're no different from world powers of the past. At this point, I'd settle for a serious shoe-tossing at Unka Dick.

Thankfully, during preparation for finding further ways to increase the blood pressure, bring on a series of ulcers and imagine the infliction of deep psychological pain on these thugs and their spineless enablers -- see, even us non-fascists have naughty thoughts now and then, don't let anyone tell you otherwise -- I discovered something that demanded I cast aside my bloodlust and instead embrace joyous laughter:
"I've survived interviews with Keith Olbermann, testified before Congress, prevented voter fraud from overturning the results of a U.S. presidential election and fought the left in federal court more times than you can imagine," Blackwell said last month as he announced his candidacy. "I have been tried and tested, though I'll admit that I've never been called 'mavericky' by Tina Fey."
I'm sure you've been called an asshole, a wingnut, an Uncle Tom, a criminal, a puppet, a --

"Shhh! You want to deal with his Schutzstaffel?"

Go, Ken Doll, go.


susan said...

That's it! I'm joining the Republican Party so I can cast my vote for Nyarlothatep and be done with it.

Bubs said...

They can't be out of office fast enough.

Anonymous said...

So now Cheney's saying, "if Lincoln did it, why can't I?" Man this guy's got some pair and he just loves dropping his pants to flaunt them. All Lincoln did was keep the country together in what has been, until now, it's worst political crisis, and even then, his suspension the writ of habeas corpus several times was unconscionable. I agree with Bubs, this guy can't leave office soon enough.

Freida of the Bees said...

It's too bad OJ's lawyer died. I think he'd be a good representative for Cheney in his up and coming trials.

The "If the glove fits, you must aquit," defense, is a little old and the "If you don't get in trouble, you didn't do anything wrong," defense could have given him a whole new image.

Übermilf said...

This is why I crave margaritas at 10 a.m.

Liberality said...

You are right. This country is not special, it's just another country in a long line of countries--much like Rome and we are falling, falling, falling down...

Dean Wormer said...

Yeah, well Blackwell's no doorknob either. I'm not sure what my point is other than to trot out a Dangerfield quote.

Utah Savage said...

This is why I wake up and take a sleeping pill. I did watch the Chenney interview yesterday and got scared, very very scared. Now I'm hiding under the covers.

Randal Graves said...

susan, Cthulhu fhtagn!

bubs, sure they can. Invent a time machine, make alien contact, and have them whisked away on, oh, January 24, 2001.

spartacus, um, 9/11 changed everything, dude. And we haven't been hit since, so everything they touched turned to gold, you commie bastard.

F of the Bs, if the waterboard doesn't fit, you must acquit?

I can't be impeached for failing to do the dishes, so take that, spouse!

übermilf, you know the old saying, it's 10 am somewhere.

liberality, I dig my football and Simpsons drawn by Korean animation studios, but that's exactly what we are, one of many now, one of many empires in the last 6000 years. We did invent Funyuns, so suck on that, Byzantium.

dean, Rodney is good for all occasions.

utah, I watched a little bit at the link. Those talking head shows get in the way of a good read.

Freida of the Bees said...

Randal, You should make a million dollars for thinking of that. I'd hurry up and get Colbert on the line before he thinks of it himself.

It just begs to be a blog title for mock Cheneyisms!!!

Mary Ellen said...

I ask for naked guy pics and you put up a pic of Cheney....that's cruel beyond measure, kiddo.

Thanks for moving Bad Habit on your're leaving TDD in the dead zone? Sheesh. I think I'll just use that blog to deposit all the porn stuff, it's beginning to pile up in my browser.

Tom Harper said...

Blackwell survived an interview with Keith Olbermann?? Whew! He's a badass. And here I was thinking being a soldier in Iraq was tough and dangerous.

Blackwell's got what it takes.

Beach Bum said...

I've always felt good about my time in the army even though there is no way in Hell that I would ever do it again. But after watching the Cheney interview that was taken away.

Suzi Riot said...

Well now I don't really have to go to law school at all! The only thing anybody has to know about the American legal system is that if Honest Abe wasn't impeached for it, then it must be legal.

Thanks Dick! You saved me thousands of dollars that I would have wasted on student loans.

S.W. Anderson said...

Asking Cheney if something a president has done or wants to do is legal is like asking a $10 hooker if she wants a tip — and a lot less fun, I'm certain.

As for Blackwell, who so brilliantly "managed" the 2004 elections in Ohio and somehow stayed out of prison, I think he'd be great to lead the Republican National Committee. Maybe he can get Bob Ney to be his No. 2, when he gets out of prison.

darkblack said...

Who's bad?


Randal Graves said...

F of the Bs, I don't know, that sounds like work. Plus, does Cheney say anything other than variations of 'grrr?'

ME, there IS a naked guy. Just with clothes on. And are you bringing your other site back? If not, it stays dead!

Now, about that porn stuff...

tom, betcha you'll think twice about throwing 'chickenhawk' around next time, huh.

BB, Cheney, for all of his tabletop warmongering, loathes the soldier. All those fuckers do, nothing but useful props.

suzi, I think you owe someone an apology, don't you?

SWA, I'd have to check, but I think Ney's sentence is up. They should make a commemorative coin to celebrate the occasion.

darkblack, HA! That Chimpy was in the cast of Freaks, wasn't he?

Sherry Peyton said...

Actually it becomes a bit fun now, watching darth sputter, knowing his miserable days are numbered. My hope: he lives long enough to be thoroughly vilified by historians. But then, he would just say they don't know what they are talking about. What a demented soul that man has.

Lisa said...

Don't you think having the title "Anger Management" and then the picture of Cheney just a bit cruel?

Randal Graves said...

sherry, soul? Cheney is a robot from outer space.

lisa, think of it as a test. Did you pass? No? Then sign up for class. Don't worry, there will be a lot of us. And donuts.