Thursday, August 7, 2008

Trust no one

Mind-numbingly bored at work exhausted from work and needing a break -- yeah, I know it's only 10am but you know what Sartre said about other people -- I tried to write something about, well, writing to no avail and thus it had to meet a mercifully quick end by my saddened hand -- trust me, it was shaping up to be an abysmal piece -- yeah, I also know what it says above, like you fuckers would listen anyway and no, that's not me in the video -- and aside from the feel-good, oooh that feels good campaign of Diva/Nunly, politics can go roast like a rancid Robert Novak skewered on a spit over Saint Ronnie's grill in hell before getting smoked for eternity, enveloped in the rotten egg stench of Tricky Dick's carcass, so feast your eyes on some funky vinyl:

Gimme some of that future time religion!


Computerized missals that open to just the right page, flying robots that bring the booze and crackers to your seat, miniskirted corporals pressing buttons sexfully on the console. Wait, that was Star Trek.


Hold on to your ass, kids, there's a satan in your way and it's here to wield the flaming sword of truth and chop deception into a quivering, bloody pulp!

Beware of false prophets sent by the Filthy Hippie Technoconspiracy!


DivaJood said...

I almost had something pithy to say, but was distracted by the too-white-teeth and anti-truthiness rays sent by Rex.

Oh. Trust no one. Especially Canadians with ice skates.

Mary Ellen said...

When I was a young kid, around first or second grade, I thought the nuns were aliens who had special powers that could read your mind. I later found that they were mere humans just dressed up to look like aliens and they were susceptible to trickery and evil that only a school child could invent. I did my best to crack each and every one of them...and I may have succeeded if they hadn't given me that damned diploma and pushed me out of their school.

If there's going to be a Cathedral of tomorrow...I'll be the one running it. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

La Belette Rouge said...

Bad book stabber. Hell is other people who stab books. And, that is a direct quote from Sartre.

Dean Wormer said...

Spock ears?

American Hill BIlly said...

I liked the manchurian Antenna. I liked the post, and I'll bet joking, or not that isn't far off. With technology who knows what they'll present to the sheeple.

Peace and Freedom

Border Explorer said...

Sign me up for flying booze and crackers. That's my kinda church.

Randal Graves said...

diva, don't get me started on those damn Canadians.

ME, you know, for a Catholic chick, you sure are evil. But I repeat myself.

LBR, hell, I can't even bring myself to write in a seven dollar paperback, let alone destroy one. Unless it was the Contract With America or something equally pointless.

dean, that would be a dead giveaway. Think of this as a T-1000.

AHB, that's all we need, some evil neocon science genius (is THAT possible?) creating a robo-Cheney. I hope whomever creates the first legit AI pulls a Tim Berners-Lee and doesn't patent the damn thing.

BE, just be careful. Some of those crackers have sharp edges, and booze can stain whites!

Tom Harper said...

Flying booze and crackers, LOL.

Someday I want to have enough nerve to go to a church service (which I haven't done in several decades) and when they bring the wine I'm gonna slosh it around loudly like those pompous wine tasters are always doing. Then I'll say "aahh, Zinfandel, 1997, Napa Valley."

I probably won't though.

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Very strange. The verb "to spell" in German is buchstabieren which literally means "Book Stabbing." Huh.

Since you didn't put a disclaimer of "hey kids, don't try this at home!" guess what I'm gonna do?


Utah Savage said...

I'm staying away from my book for a day or two. Trying not to delete--which is a version of buchstabieren isn't it?

thatgirl said...

you forgot about the guy's phallic symbol/failed space needle restaurant in the back of that place...

Bradda said...

That kid came soooo close to stabbing his hand! Would have made that video a classic!
No name for the gap in his teeth?

Beach Bum said...

Beware of false prophets sent by the Filthy Hippie Technoconspiracy!

Damn straight, I'll take a hooker loving TV preacher like Jimmy Swaggart any day.

okjimm said...

// old time religion in a modern way//

Wowsers.....that doesn't grok.

modern time religion in a polka way....

religion, old timers, in a way modern.....

it all hurts my head..... I wanna just go out for burgers and beer........

maybe crucify a bartender.... make him die for my foam.

susan said...

Future presidential candidates will probably all be made by Pixar.

Bradda said...

Heh, Beach Bum, Swaggart is good but Ted Haggard got busted with a hooker AND meth! Daily double...

Missy said...

Dude, you are seriously twisted.

Lovin' it.

Where have you been all my life?

Randal Graves said...

tom, if you do, I'll give you a twenty. No, not in Euros, dammit.

UC, I knew we couldn't trust those Germans. "Ja wohl! Vee want to spell you, citizen!"

Hey, if you slice your hand up, don't even think about suing!

utah, buchstabieren nicht sie book!

thatgirl, oh, I'm well aware of it, but this is a family-friendly site. I don't want to give the wrong idea.

bradda, I will admit that when I found it, I was hoping he pulled a Bishop in Aliens, heh heh.

BB, there's a blast from the past!
"I...have....sinned against you....lord." Is he still on teevee? I've seen his kid now and then on one of those channels.

okjimm, the power of hops compels you! the power of hops compels you!

Hey, if you're gonna projectile vomit, please turn the other way, thanks.

susan, if that were the case, I'd probably have to hold my nose less often when pulling that lever.

bradda, if the 'morans' photo is the shot of the Bush era, than Haggard has to be the poster boy for modern conservatism in all its gleeful hypocrisy.

missy, there's nothing a dude likes to hear more than that. Well, "here's your check for 500 million, tax-free dollars" is up there as well.

Anonymous said...

Whoa. And here I thought I needed some time off. I think this campaign stuff is getting to you.