When there is ass to kick, we'll be there

In the rarefied air of expert ass kicking, there are those who do so with a stunning, gravity-defying flair and a bloodless, poorly-dubbed wounding such as the man below on our left, a legend we should never forget:


















Ouch!














"I know you didn't forget me."

No, sir, Mr. Norris, that would be crazy talk.

Of course that movie still was photoshopped.

Please have your beard, and all the fists it contains, back off.

Someone who decided that I also shouldn't be left behind like American schoolchildren -- and Chuck Norris, yes, sir, I remember, I've evolved, oops, moved beyond such forgetfulness -- is one of my favoritist bloggers clogging the tubes with her patchouli and stolen reading materials, fellow book geek and head of the EPA in the next presidential administration, Liberality. We'll overlook her weirdo filthy hippie vegetarianism just this once.

Man, I sure could go for a thick, juicy burger.

Oh, dreaded awards posts with your pros of virtually writing yourself and your cons of trying to narrow it down. Though I'm sure everyone at some point will get one, all of us being denizens of the lefty anarchist bomb-throwing echo chamber that we are, never attuned to the reality of the real world and all its realness and realistic realism, instead locked up in our basements with our illegal stashes and homemade wine as we pen angry screeds against The Man, this veritable hell of empty hedonism and self-flagellation barely illuminated by a single bulb whose filament is about to burn off, so reminiscent of that last joint, everything turning to ashes in our mouth as even our pen runs out of ink, one more brilliant manifesto unfinished, soon to be kindling for the fire to heat our crypt since we, in a further fit and start of defiance, refuse to pay our bills to our corporate oppressors.

Rage, rage against the dying of the bulb!

The rules, chumps:

1) Choose five other bloggers that you feel are "Kick Ass Bloggers"
2) Let them know that they have received an award.
3) Link back to both the person who awarded you and also to http://www.mammadawg.com/
4) Visit the Kick Ass Blogger Club HQ to sign Mr. Linky and leave a comment. And don't forget your non-refundable deposit of $9.95 for your t-shirt. You should receive them in 6-8 weeks.

And now, the Mighty Five. Pass the vodka.

1. Border Explorer, because unlike the majority of Americans who so easily get caught up in the feverish wave of Teh Other Haz Scaree, she doesn't. The real pimps and prostitutes aren't roaming the streets outside a RNC-sponsored event, they're agribusiness lobbyists roaming the halls of Congress with more say than you or I could ever hope to have in our fondest dreams.

2. The Dean's Office, because I have to, if I ever want to get off double secret probation. Plus he writes with acuity and verve on all kinds of crazy crap, and who doesn't dig that? Oh, Stones are still better than your precious Beatles. Nyah nyah nyah!

3. Little Bang Theory, because the cunning runt's a picture taking fiend, and boy, are his pictures of the natural world stunningly beautiful, almost enough to get me to sell my teevee and move closer to nature. Maybe in between football seasons.

4. phantsythat, because susan vividly animates, both verbally and visually, slices of this crazy passive/aggressive, manic/depressive joyously psychotic existence we call life. En plus, since she's an artiste, creative types always get big-time bonus points.

5. Perspective of an American Hill Billy, because the man is attempting the connect the dots, and The Flying Spaghetti Monster knows there's a hell of a lot of 'em to sift through. If only he posted more pics of scantily-clad celebrity babes roaming around his Latin American home.