Monday, July 14, 2008

Bonne Fête Nationale !

Wow, look at all the dirty Frenchmen and their trollops.

Here are some things we can do today, even if you, comme moi, are neither French nor in France like certain others. But we hide our jealousy well, don't we. Those #%*@^&$! Voyez, cachée. On to the task at hand:

Spoon that sugar,
imbibe la fée verte
then write bare-the-soul verse to your love avant

eating some cheese,
drinking some wine
then kissing them à la mode française before

railing against the government,
grabbing your gun
then storming the local fortress where you'll surely die.


Mary Ellen said...

I always carry my gun and my Bible...well, only on the days I'm feeling bitter.

OT: If I suddenly disappear from the blogosphere, my server keeps going down and my wi-fi won't work in the house either. The freakin' place is haunted, I swear. I hate the internets. Of course, ol' hubby is in some Buddist Temple in Korea and can't be reached. (And he thinks I'm supposed to believe that??? Sheesh)

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Vive La Fromage!

Anonymous said...

I'm willing to do most of that.

But tongue kissing? Forget it!

See your cheese eating self on the Ramparts.

Anita said...

yeah, but what about his carla bruni and her orgasms??? quel scandale!!!

DivaJood said...

Au revoir, mes amis, I am going to leave for... no, wait, that's a fantasy. Better idea: Mes amis, I am going to organize a group trip to Paris, just a handful of peoples who would love to just hang out for a week in the City of Lights. And get free health care.

Anonymous said...

Can I take a raincheck on this? I want to watch your guy Grady Sizemore whack a few out of Yankee Stadium tonight. :~)

Utah Savage said...

Diva, If I had two Euros to rub together I'd be going with you. I got a hankering to go to Paris, got all my French Dictionaries and piled them on my bed. Started studying flash cards, got a phrase book. But sadly I never really had a gift for languages. And oh my god, how I hate to fly these days. I'm afraid the bastards will haul me off to gitmo, or better yet just shoot me just because I'm bipolar. And then there's the whole reclusive thing. Getting old is not for sissies.

Liberality said...

Wine drinking, kissing and revolutionary activities--yeah baby I'd be jealous too--On va faire la fete!

okjimm said...

Wine drinking, kissing and revolutionary activities.....gees, I would be in for some of that! Can we change the wine into beer, though? Hey, didn't Jesus do that at a party or sumptin? Change the wine into beer? Isn't that a story from the New Testicle? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Beach Bum said...

I alway thought France rocked, along with my total lack of interest in NASCAR nearly got me thrown out of the South several times.

Suzi Riot said...

Now we will zee who laughz like ze frog!

Tengrain said...

I've done all those thing today, and I'm still at work!

À votre santé!


susan said...

I went downtown and tried to free the Portland Armory but they've turned it into a condo. After I yelled 'Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite' 5 or 6 times some policemen came and asked me to leave quietly.

Randal Graves said...

ME, don't worry, all the perverts are in Japan, so I'm sure he's doing plenty of meditating.

UC, seulement quelques types !

dcup, yeah, that stuff is for pinko homersexuals. Do you think we'll get cake before they chop off our heads?

anita, quoi ?

diva, it's not nice to tease us like that. Oh, you were being serious? Let's go!

spartacus, um, didn't exactly happen. ;-)

utah, could always take a boat. Sure, it'll take longer, but we don't do rendition by boat. Speed is of the essence because they want to kill your family!

liberality, doesn't get much better than that!

okjimm, are you sure it wasn't the Old Testicle? I mean, they are wrinkly.

tengrain, we have a winner in the Best Job Category! Et à la votre !

susan, ha! I hope those weapons are still around somewhere. We might need them once Canada invades.

Randal Graves said...

Oh, shit, I missed a couple of you guys, and I'm not even drunk.

BB, um, isn't not being a NASCAR fan down there grounds for rendition to Syria?

suzi, "I bet I'll get blamed for this."

Dean Wormer said...

That portrait reminds me that absinthe has been legalized and one of the first distillers has just gone on line not blocks from my place of work.

I'm going to have to dance with the green fairy sometime.

Randal Graves said...

Oh man, let me know if it's any good and I'll start buying from them. Importing the quality stuff from Old Europe is fucking expensive!

Je ne regrette rien said...

I'm in France right this instant and I just know that any second now I'm going to making out with someone. French style! *slurp*

Randal Graves said...

You wouldn't be having the full French experience if you weren't doing that!