Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Rumor control

Did this happen?
(Sorry, Flying Nunly, like I would post a naked dude.)

What about this?

Generally speaking, only these three things possess enough gravitas to prevent me from lurking in the shadows of the tubes:

1. The call of the muse,
2. laziness rage at a power/internet outage, and lastly,
3. the prospects of naked romping.

Since I'm actually caught up on my electric and cable bills for once -- there's cause for a fucking party; too bad I spent the booze and cake batter money on my electric and cable bills -- and I fell asleep watching the Indians' game -- isn't it time for you bastards to go back to school? -- well, you know what happened. J'ai mes priorités, mes amis. If I may humbly borrow steal a phrase from a fellow blogger, because the world needs another poorly-written, unpublished book, that's why.

Unrelated postscript:

After checking my email this morning and logging off, I noticed in Yahoo's Today's Top Searches this particular search:

7. French Vanilla Ice...

"Glace, glace, bébé."

Praise Mephistopheles, it had to do with ice cream. That's all I need, a nightmare about that 'musical' monstrosity. Maybe being in the tubes isn't such a good idea.


Anita said...

Play That Funky Music White Boy !! What? You don't think that's good music?? Well, then, not only are you A Lazy Man, but your taste in music is highly questionable!!


Spartacus said...

And here I thought I was going to have to place a blogger APB on your ass. Glad the electric and cable bills are all paid up; and just int time to hear the persistent trade rumors that Casey Blake may be shipped to the Mets. Oh yeah, the nekked pics are okay, but please no more Glace à la vanille... are you trying to make me hurl?

Mary Ellen said...

No wonder guys like to golf, it has nothing to do with trying to hit some little ball into a tiny hole in the grass..it's all about the naked pole dancing. And I thought they were yelling "Fore!"...I guess I didn't hear the "...Play" afterwards.

Men and their tiny balls...what can I say?

Oh geez....Vanilla Ice! Make it go away, please!!!!!

DivaJood said...

Lissen up, Randal - golf is a game for men in bad plaid pants and silly hats. I highly doubt some naked woman will go romping around on the green. PHOTO SHOP. That's all I'm saying.

Unless she was celebrating Festivus.

As for glace de vanille, I knew there was a reason I don't like it. Someone tell my why he looks like he's sucking a lemon?

fancy freelancer said...

Do you have any pictures of Vanilla Ice running naked across a golf course? Cause that would be awesome.

Mathman6293 said...

I don't think that pole is of sufficient size for Festivus.

Randal Graves said...

anita, yeah yeah, Mr. Winkle is fine and dandy, but he's no Hammer.

spartacus, Blake to the Mets? For whom? A single-A catcher and a six pack?

Glad you enjoyed the picture. ;-)

ME, don't they have naked pole dancing at strip joints? I fucking hate golf. And foreplay is often the best part.

diva, photoshop? Surely you just. Why, this kind of thing happens to me at work all the time.

That's not sucking a lemon, that's being hardcore, 'cause he's from the streets.

fancy, if I did, wouldn't publicly releasing such a thing be grounds for criminal charges at The Hague?

mathman, I'm so out of it culturally that I had no clue what Festivus was until last year. You guys hear about this new fangled 'talking phone' thingamajig?

Freida Bee said...

Way to combine the sports and naked woman post (even if it had to be about golf).

DivaJood said...

Randal, if Vanilla Ice is from the streets, then I am able to sing High Opera.

okjimm said...

Gees, he looks like he is holding some strange anal probes.

Who's Vanilla Ice?

Randal Graves said...

FB, believe me, je deteste le golf, but if I get to post something titillating, that's the length that I'll go.

diva, really? That's very interesting because I can play guitar as good as Jeff Beck!

okjimm, Vanilla Ice, Republican congressman, that's who.

Tom Harper said...

Maybe France is the place for Vanilla Ice. If they're so crazy about Jerry Lewis, who knows where their taste runs.

America's favorite white constipated rapper has finally found a home.

American Hill BIlly said...

AHH!!! I had forgotten about Vanilla Ice. Ahh!! such horrible memories!

Peace and Freedom

American Hill BIlly said...

AHH!!! I had forgotten about Vanilla Ice. Ahh!! such horrible memories!

Peace and Freedom

Christopher said...

In the interest of fairness and balance, you really should post a picture now of a "dude."

In any event, I was unaware that streaking had made a come back?

Or did it ever go out of style???

Beach Bum said...

Whatever the case may be having a drop dead gorgeous naked lady on a golf course would be the only thing that gets me near a golf course. For all the wetlands that have been paved over and filled in for golf here in South Carolina I would ban the sport and Tiger Woods be damned.

DCup said...

Thank goodness you remembered to italicize that's why. Otherwise, I'd have to open a a can of whoop ass on you.

Becca said...

Aaaaaaaah! Gratuitous Vanilla Ice picture! Aaaaaaaaaah...scary....!

susan said...

Personally, I liked the picture of the teevee getting thrown out of the window. Do you remember the story about Keith Moon ordering a long extension cord from room service so he could watch the television as it dropped into the swimming pool? He was a crazy person but as I recall he did make sure there were no people in the pool.

Angie said...

What comes out the window after the monitor? The badminton set in realization that golf is the only game to play? The executive that signed Vanilla Ice to a record deal? The boss who sold all his/her stock options before the rest of us lost our entire retirement? Or the coffee pot? Never the coffe pot!

Randal Graves said...

tom, Hey, nice rapper!

You know, typing it doesn't have the same effect.

AHB, hey, anything to make you guys even more uncomfortable with the world!

christopher, as you can see, everyone loves Vanilla, so he counts, no?

Back in the old days, they'd tell them to behave themselves. Now if you streak, they probably arrest you and charge you with scarring little old ladies for life.

BB, I'm with you on that. I like miniature golf, but that's about it.

And that is truly disturbing. Hell with nature, rich crackers need another place to make business deals.

dcup, hey, I may look dumb. And since I did so well, could you put in a word to mathman about his future role as sports king. Browns. Super Bowl. Hint. Hint.

becca, you don't approve? Maybe I should post an Ice YouTube! HA!

susan, oh yeah, I remember. What was that sign? "In case of Keith Moon, break glass."

angie, are you kidding? The coffee pot is sacred. That record exec, on the other hand...

Utah Savage said...

I wrote a very detailed and pertinent comment yesterday, just as those motherfuckers at blogger when down. Now I'm brain dead. Don't snigger Randal. I'm not always brain dead. Maybe usually, but NOT ALWAYS.