Saturday, July 19, 2008

I know Degas is expensive, but I've got to get to work!

Self-portrait, 1863.

Not all that comical, I'll admit. But I know who did and didn't chuckle thanks to my new bestest pals at DHS, and, like the man pictured above, I can be surly. So no chocolate birthday cake for those of you who kept your noiseholes shut during yet another edition of The World's Finest Lazy Man Blogging®. When the backlog of goofy Republican pictures is empty (wait, that's lazy too, isn't it) one must resort to DFH Kulturkampf. Sorry.

Oh, don't cry, you can have some ice cream.
After it's sat out for awhile and is warm and mushy.

Buck up little trooper, here's another picture.

L'etoile (la danseuse sur la scène), 1876-1878.

I know it's hard to demanufacture the rage these days, but it still makes you want to bust out the Giselle and mellow for awhile.

"How about some mellow rage?"

"I'll show you death on two legs!"


DivaJood said...

Happy BIRTHday tooo you
Happy BIRTHday TOOOOO you
Happy BIRTHDAY, Mr. DE-gas,
Happy Birthday tooooooo yooooouuuu.

I had wonderful chocolate cake yesterday, with peanut butter (chunky) filling.

And as for Ms. Borden:

Lizzie Borden took an axe
And gave her mother 40 whacks.
And when she saw what she had done
She gave her father 41.

DCup said...

With all the ballerina stuff around here, we're bound to have a Degas or two, but I better not put any Lizzie Borden out. Who knows how suggestible the Spawn are, you know?

Freida Bee said...

The guitarist of Queen is an astrophysicist?! No wonder they're so out of this world.... Don't hate me for the lameness of that/ this comment. I know it's due to your ploy to shock and awe, even if there are no pics of Republicans.

Randal Graves said...

diva, chocolate cake with chunky peanut butter? And you didn't share? That wasn't very presidential of you. Though I guess it was diva-ish. You're a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a blogger.

dcup, I hear ya. My oldest loves the horror flicks like her old man, but unlike stable moi, she's nuts.

Careful with that axe, children.

FB, it was so lame it made me chuckle, which counts as a point. If you want shock and awe, I'll gladly scour the tubes for some stupid Republican tricks. I just hope tengrain didn't grab all the good ones.

Mary Ellen said...

Lizzie Borden? I thought she was a cow from milk ads. I guess I'd have an ax to grind if someone was milking me on a daily basis.

I'm so confused...need chocolate cake, with a glass of milk.

Ingrid said...

oh my lord..QUEEN! Now there's a throwback to the past...even my mom (late 60s) likes Queen..

I've been seeing you in a few blogs so I decided to follow you site and l'ennui melodieux..ah well, isn't it automatically not? unless that's how one passes the boredom..

ok..I'll have to browse your blog later..speaking of boredom..laundry is awaiting..


Spartacus said...

You certainly know your masters! Degas, May and Mercury... Lizzie Borden? Well, she's the Queen killer, no?

DivaJood said...

Randal, I shared with about twenty people but they were actually physically in the same place as me. And you shudda seen the size of the knife they used to cut the cake. Lizzie B would have been in awe.

Randal Graves said...

ME, holy hell, I haven't seen that logo in ages. I don't think I'd trust you with an axe.

ingrid, everyone likes Queen, and if they don't, we should shun them. Thanks for stopping by, but laundry=boredom? I know I love folding piles of clothes that my kids will just end up throwing on the floor. Bastards.

spartacus, hey, if the painting world can have their Old Masters, so can rock and roll!

diva, fine, if you want to bring your liberal lefty commie pinko reality into it. How big was this cake if you had to use a blade better used for chopping down trees?

DivaJood said...

Randal, the cake was big enough to share, I'll tell you that. The knife, wielded by someone OTHER than me, was about the size of the saw used in the Texas Chainsaw Massacres, really, I am not kidding. Would I lie?

Um, did you like my singing to Degas?

Anita said...

my brain is spinning.

not that that is all that shocking or alarming or anything. it spins every day. all day, in fact. the evenings too.

but it's just a'spinnin' more than is usual.


so, do i get cake now?

dr.alistair said...

i`m old enough to have seen queen live seven times before 1985.

brighton really does rock.......

Unconventional Conventionist said...

As usual, you've inspired me Randall. I shall have to bust out "Bohemian Rhapsody" but weird it up some. Heh. You'll be sorry.

Randal Graves said...

diva, that's frightening. The knife, not your singing which was Marilyn-esque.

anita, spinning brains get two pieces. Well, you do, not the brains because they have no mouths.

dr. alistair, you the man, not merely because of seeing Queen that many times, but because now I don't feel so old. Take that, children!

UC, oh shit, what monster have I wrought? Please, no pictures of Bush, you maniac.

American Hill BIlly said...

Friends at DHS? My head spins. Could they be Friends, you really would be a lucky guy, or people with electric drills ready for torture? Hmmm

Peace and Freedom

Unconventional Conventionist said...

Hah. A little Che style Giselle just enough to make you squirm.

FranIAm said...

Michael Chertoff actually told me that he reads your blog. Totally seriously 100%.

He too is a classy guy who likes art, poetry, music and art.

He loves this blog. I can't wait to hear what he thinks about this post...

okjimm said...

Gees, 25% of the time I show up here and feel like I gotta go to a museum.

Wowsers! What a great's very hot... lessee, lunch with daughter, go to museum....where it is air conditioned to the max....and then hang out at patio bar along the river and catch cool breezes with cool brews!

Damn, Randal, you are a fine man and an inspiration! But I promise not to tell anyone. ;)

Tom Harper said...

I never liked most of Queen's songs but I like their live sound. The first thing I ever heard by them was a live album that was playing in a record store. It was dynamite.

OMG. "Record store," "dynamite" -- OK, I've officially turned into one of those old men who are always reminiscing about the old days. It ain't pretty. Let me out.

susan said...

You know my first reaction to all the 'great rockers' who died young was anger. Why, with such genius to spare, did you have to be such an idiot? Guess that's one we've all ended up answering in our own lives as we age... shit happens.

I was browsing in one of them old timey record stores once when a woman nearby asked the clerk if they had any Beetoven records. The guy explained that they had a lot and asked her what particular symphony and orchestral interpretation she'd be interested
in listening to. She told him she was a big fan of original stuff and did he have anything by Beetoven's own band? Then I got to listen to the guy explain that the master had been dead for hundreds of years and there'd been no recordings then. She walked out in a huff.

Sal Kilmister said...

Queen, Chertoff and Randal....What a connection!

pissed off patricia said...

Did someone say cake?

Now that I am back from vacation and all rested up, I'll get that oven heated up and get busy.

Dean Wormer said...

That's the real Lizzie?

Elizabeth Montgomery was hotter as her.

Another case of fiction being better than reality.

Mary Ellen said...

I stopped over to see what you wrote today and realized it's Monday, your day off---which means no blogging and lots of running around your house naked. Hey, maybe you can have a blog naked day!?!

DivaJood said...

Ah, Randal, I have finally announced my candidacy for President, so you best get cracking with a platform. Remember, Air Force One.

Übermilf said...

happy birthday and all that.

I wish I could say more, but I'm out of oomph and Freddie Mercury's tights upset my stomach.

Utah Savage said...

Sorry I missed the party. But a belated Happy Birthday. You da man.

Liberality said...

On va faire la fete!

I think I said that before but hey with all the birthday parties given around here it's good for another go. I just need more chocolate ok?

Anita said...

randal's been running around his house naked all day???

so where's the web cam???

Angie said...

Work. Work. Work. Such an nuisance when we've got blogging to do!

Randal Graves said...

UC, I'm afraid to click on it! I will when I'm back at my desk. But if it's horrid and evil, well, I'm calling DHS.

fran, that's super. Well, it's been nice knowing you guys. I hope Guantanamo still serves two kinds of fruit.

okjimm, that actually sounds like a pretty good outing! But please, don't speak a word of this.

tom, I love Queen, but they are one band that does sound better live, which isn't the same as simply sounding heavier or louder.

I still call them records, and I remember going through vinyl as a wee lad. It was neat, daddy-o.

susan, I hear ya. It's not even some built-in desire of going 100 mph and being self-destructive, just exploring all that life has to offer - which so often ends up destroying.

Wait. Beethoven is dead? When the hell did this happen?

sal, if I'm connected in any way to Chertoff, then I feel horrible! I mean, Mike, you're my man!

POP, I'm just glad there weren't any birthdays in your absence. I'd hate for you to miss out on some cake, since you've been so kind as to bake all those other ones.

dean, not much of a contest, is it.

ME, about as far as I'll go is a blogging drunk day. At least that has the potential for humor, as opposed to inducing vomiting.

diva, you never said anything about this job requiring actual work! Alright, I'll see what I can do.

übermilf, they do seem to induce vertigo and other maladies, don't they.

utah, you can help clean up if you want since we're all still hungover.

liberality, since I seem to be going through all my favorites, we might have to start celebrating weirdos and malcontents.

anita, unplugged, for your safety. Trust me.

angie, heh heh, reminds me of one of the great exchanges on The Simpsons.

"Working is for chumps!"
"I'm proud of you son! I was twice your age before I figured that out."